Tim was returning to his hotel from a sales call. It had not gone well. On top of that, his boss Susan had been texting him repeatedly about some report she needed for a very important meeting. He had put it off and now he would have to work on it all night.
"Tell me you are going to get this to me this evening," she had texted.
"You'll get it when you get it," he thought, but did not actually respond.
More texts arrived. "Tim??" "Seriously!?" "I have to get this tonight!!" "Tim??"
"Screw you!!"
Tim just smirked. "You'll get it when you get it, Babe."
As he pulled into the hotel parking lot, he saw a space close to the front.
He sped up and then broke hard as he pulled sharply into the spot. This was an old stuntman trick that never failed to scare and impress the ladies. Only this time, it didn't go so well. In fact, the front left bumper of his car made contact with the front of the car in the next space. He got out and assessed the damage. He was happy to see that on his car there virtually wasn't any, just a little scraping on the bumper. The other car, however had a baseball sized dent.
"Why me," he groaned. It was going to be such a pain, finding the cars owner, trading insurance information, paying for the damage, not to mention what this would do to his rates. Ugh, he thought and he'd probably have to deal with that bitch Amy at the front desk.
Suddenly, he stopped and looked around. He noticed that no one was about.
"Hey," he thought, "if a car gets hit and nobody sees it, did it really happen?"
"Nope," he said aloud and promptly jumped in his car backed out and parked in another space on the other side of the lot.
Jen was gazing out of her hotel room window. She was sharing a room with Beth and Angie. She was waiting on them to finish getting ready so that they could all go down to the bar. She watched as a car pulled into the parking lot and pulled into a spot right next to her car. She jumped and let out a gasp as it slammed into hers.
"What's wrong," said Angie.
"Somebody just hit my car!"
"What!" Both girls rushed over and joined Beth at the window. They all watched as a man stepped out of his car, assessed the damage to both vehicles and then got back into his car and parked somewhere else.
"Well that little shit," said Beth.
"He is not getting away with that," said Jen. "You guys ready, let's catch him at reception."
Tim walked in to the hotel and sure enough there was Amy at the front desk. He also saw three attractive girls getting off the elevator and decided to impress them at Amy's expense.
"Did you get those extra towels sent up to 615 like I asked you?"
Amy looked confused. "Excuse me?"
"Should I take that as a 'no?'"
"Did you ask me to send extra towels to 615?"
"Well I asked someone. Don't you guys keep records? You should have a log or something."
"Yes sir. I'll make sure some get sent up there right away."
"See that you do. Oh, and have Debbie bring them up."
Jen, Beth and Angie got off the elevator just as their prey was walking up to reception. They decided that they would hang back and let him finish abusing the poor girl at the front desk before they pounced. As they continued to listen to him be so unpleasant to that girl, Jen had an idea. She didn't have time to explain it to the other girls, she simply slapped each of them on the thigh, short hand for "follow my lead."
She left Beth and Angie and approached the jerk. Instead of attacking him, Jen was all flirty and giggly. "She was so bored, the three of them had been on the road together for weeks, sick of the sight of each other, etc. etc. He seemed so interesting. Would he please join them in the bar soon for drinks?"
They were about to commence 'operation shit faced.'
Tim was excited. Three women. He liked his odds. Pick off the slow moving one, the weak one. God knows he liked his women drunk. Anymore, he thought bitterly, it was the only way he could get one, and even that didn't always work out.
He told her he had a few things to do upstairs, but they should get started and he'd join them soon.
After he jumped on the elevator, Beth turned to Jen and asked, "Okay, what the hell was that all about?"
"Well," said Jen, "I really am bored. And it occurred to me, we could have just had an ugly scene and maybe gotten some money out of him or we could have some fun and play him for the sucker he obviously is and still get some money out of him."
Beth and Angie new better than to argue the point. They were all part time poker players, but Jen was in a league all her own. As a matter of fact, they were on their way back from a tournament where Jen had cleaned up, raking in thousands to their hundreds.
This would not be the first time they had fleeced a guy who decided to "mansplain" poker to them.
"So we're going to get him to play poker?" Angie asked. "Yep," said Jen.
"How do you know he will, how do you know he even plays?" asked Beth.
Jen didn't answer, she didn't have to, she just gave them her patented "do you doubt me" stare.
She then pulled an unopened deck of cards out of her purse (she always had an unopened pack or three). She unwrapped the cellophane and took the cards out of the box, crumpled the box and then put the cards back in. Here, she said to Angie, take this to that poor girl at reception, tell her what we are up to and tell her to make it look good when the time comes.
Jen then ordered a pitcher of beer from the waitress. "I will happily pay for a whole pitcher," she said, "but bring us a half pitcher and four glasses please." When the pitcher arrived, Jen proceeded to pour what amounted to no more than a few sips into their glasses and filled one up for Tim. The waitress looked at what was going on and was not so sure that she approved.
Tim was pacing in his room. He was giving himself a little pep talk. This could work he told himself. Let them get drunk and then bring the drunkest one up here. Make out a bit, insist on turning out the lights and then with any luck he could get laid before she even noticed. He didn't know which one to root for, the pretty brunette who invited him, the taller red head who seemed to be shooting him daggers as he talked to the brunette or the busty Asian girl.
There was a knock at his door. He opened it and was greeted by a woman with a handful of towels.
"Here are your towels, Mr. Parker," she said.
"Debbie," he said, "call me 'Tim' and put them on the bed please."
He barely left enough room for her to squeeze by and then watched her walk over to the bed.
"I think I am going to get laid tonight," he said as she squeezed by him again. "Just say the word, though and I'll cancel my date."
Debbie didn't say anything. She just quickened her pace out the door and down the hall.
He laughed as he closed the door behind her.
He looked at his watch. About 20 minutes had gone by, enough time to give them a good head start on the drinking.
He was just about out the door when he remembered the report he had promised Susan.
And just like that, his phone buzzed. A text from Susan, "Where is my report?"
"Ah Susan," he sighed. "I don't think that's gonna happen." With that, he tossed his phone on the bed next to the towels and headed down to the bar.
They spent a little time getting to know each other. Tim lied and said that he was a director with a large paper distributor. He was in fact one of their salesman.
Jen lied and said that the three of them were drug reps just back from a reunion at their college sorority. Jen was indeed a drug rep. Beth, the redhead, was a receptionist and Angie worked retail. Although they had all gone to college, none of them had joined a sorority. Jen just figured it was the kind of thing a guy like Tim would like to hear. She was right.
Tim finished off his beer and suggested they get another pitcher. He also complained to the waitress that the beer wasn't very cold. The waitress suggested they switch to glasses of a beer they had on tap and on special. He didn't offer to pay for it, so it went on Jen's tab.
"Cool Beans," he thought. "Hot women and free beer, does it get any better than this?"
When the waitress saw whom these girls were trying to get drunk, her outlook changed.
This jerk had complained about every meal she had served him and used his displeasure as an excuse not to tip. Not only did she not care what they were up to, she would help.
They talked for a while about nothing in particular. Then Jen steered the conversation to favorite games they played as kids such as Clue or Monopoly. Beth, catching on, brought up card games like War and Go Fish.
"Of course as we got older, we played games like Gin Rummy and Hearts," said Jen.
"What about you Tim? She asked, as she signaled the waitress to bring them another round. She was impressed to see that Tim's beer glass was filled almost to over flowing, while theirs were as low as they could be without being obvious.
"Well the only card game I ever play is Poker."
"Oooh, poker," said Jen. "You know I fancy myself a pretty good poker player. I used to play with my little sister and win all the time."
"Uh huh," said Tim unimpressed.
Jen turned to Beth. "Do you play poker?"
"Umm, I have played before, but it's been awhile."
"How about you Angie?"
"No, not really," she said. "I had a boyfriend who tried to teach me strip poker once, but we just ended up making out instead."
And with that statement, Angie unwittingly changed the course of the evening.
Damn, thought Tim, playing strip poker with these ladies would be fine!
**
"You know," said Tim, "we should play some poker."
"Yeah," said Jen, "that sounds like fun!"
"No," said Angie, "that sounds stupid."
"Yeah," said Beth, "count me out. I'm too drunk."
"C'mon," said Jen. "What else do we have to do?"
"Well," said Beth, "that's true."
"Couldn't we just watch a movie or something," said Angie. "Besides, does anyone even have a deck of cards?"
"Oh yeah," Jen said, "good point."
"What about you Tim," asked Beth. "Don't all guys carry around a deck of cards?
"No," Tim said glumly, "not this guy anyway."
"Oh well," said Jen, "I guess we'll call it a night. It is getting kinda late."
"Hey," said Beth. "Maybe they have a deck at the front desk. You know, lost and found or something."
Tim sprang up, instantly regretted it, steadied himself and said, "I'll go check."
He headed to the front desk full of hope. He couldn't get the picture of three naked girls standing in front of him shyly trying but not succeeding to cover themselves out of his head. He barely even weighed the cost of losing. The odds were so in his favor. They were girls, they would be drunk girls and two of them barely knew how to play and the third one thought she was good because she could beat her little sister! Yep, this was worth the risk.
"Hey," he called out to Amy, "I don't suppose you have a deck of cards back there by any chance?"
"Excuse me?" she asked.
"You know, caaaards," he said drawing the word out and miming dealing them out.
