"did you get what you deserve?"
You get what everyone else gets; you get a lifetime. So no matter what, that's as bad as it can get. Right? I'm not so sure. Take for instance 3 months. 3 months can be tricky. 3 months can be a long time. 3 months can seem like 3 years, 3 lifetimes, 3 eternities... but what it turned out to be, well, it turned out to be much longer. Anyways, if you're measuring time by pain per lifetime. It turned out to be 30 minutes.
It's not so much that you're a peeping tom, not so much desperate as you are destined. Compelled. Fated to do this... to be this. You can't be blamed anymore than you can blame someone with an allergy. It's pretty much out of your hands. How else could it have come to this? How else... But fate being what it is, maybe the question is 'how could it have not come to this?' Fate being fate, maybe no matter what happened you'd be here and she'd be there. And he'd be there.
You ever drive by an accident - say you're eating too - and you just know it's gonna be bad? You see all the signs, the ambulances, the loads of cop cars... dirty business for sure, and you don't turn away? You can't turn away? Biting into your breakfast burrito with little pieces of meat embedded throughout, you just wait for that horrible moment when you see the bright splash of red to be translated into blood by your eyes. You wait for that random object lying around... turning out to be something usually attached to a walking, talking person. Turning out to make your breakfast burrito as appetizing as that guys dismembered whatever. Anyways that's what this moment is like. Locked in. Forced to watch something you'd never even want to think about. Not in a lifetime. Not in an eternity.
all our knowledge begins with the senses – immanuel kant
So here you are. And you thought your imagination was worse than the truth could ever be... But what do you know? You're just a peeping tom. Some desperate person. Unrequited loser. So there they are. And you just can't look away. And what you see isn't just 2 people cuddling. What you see is more than just 2 people kissing and holding each other. What you see is a collision of memories. A crash of hot and cold air giving way to lightning. You can't help but notice every little detail. Every piece of information assaulting your eyes, virtually raping your senses.
I can't see it but I know the fan is on because you can hear it. Spinning around making the same noises I always assumed it only made when I was there... Judas. She has her hand on the back of his head, holding it. He's kissing her, deeply. I can actually see tongue. I can see his, going in her mouth. Hers fighting back into his mouth. It's so intimate. Then his arm is moving, I can see every detail of every muscle, he's so skinny. His hand is moving from 'lost somewhere in her hair' to 'lost somewhere between her legs'. Her hand moves so her arm is wrapped around the back of his neck. Like holding on. Her dress is riding up now because she's got her legs wrapped around him. Intimacy giving way to lust. He tries to kiss her again but she can't concentrate to kiss back- she's got her mouth open giving the occasional moan. Then she's pulling down her panties, the ones with a heart cut out of the front. I always thought those were sexy- now they're evil, evil panties.
So now she's blindly reaching for his pants. Fumbling, trying to find the button with her right hand, left arm still wrapped around his neck. He's busy holding himself up with one arm, the other hand busy being the cause of the noises coming from her mouth. Inside her. She's managed somehow to get at least the button undone and now she's using her feet to push down his pants. He's kind of trembling it looks like. From holding himself up or from excitement I don't know which.
