The annual school auction had come around again. You wouldn’t say it was tedious, but it was never the most exciting event of the year. In its ever-loving defence, is did raise funds for much needed school items.
This year Jill, a single mum who was one of the really hard-workers on the Parents and Friends Association, had roped me in to help with the running of the night. I had suggested/joked that something that could really help with be having alcohol available.
A day later Jill was back to say the principal would not allow the sale of alcohol in the school hall but she didn’t mind if people brought their own. So the fliers went out with the words BYO on them.
We had the usual selection of goodies, stuff retailers couldn’t sell which required a good dusting, dinner for one at the local restaurant if you bought another. Over the years we dutifully paid over the odds for these just to help out the school.
This year, as the new auctioneer, it would be my job to make sure we did it again.
I also suggested to Jill that we might do something I had seen at a few much grander charity auctions I had attended and that was have a couple of the more attractive parents – female – on stage to hold up the items as I auctioned them. I had to be pretty careful how I suggested it, not really knowing if Jill and the rest of her P and F were off the politically correct variety.
Without hesitation, Jill said she’s be in it. Until then, I probably hadn’t noticed how good looking she was. We were still talking about it when my wife Kelly emerged from cleaning up after dinner to ask what we were so excited about.
We told her and she said she was in too.
“I’ll leave you to work on the costumes,” I said. “I am going to wear a suit with a big bow-tie and a boater hat, just something to tart the night up a bit.”
“So I suppose you want us to tart ourselves up too,” Jill said.
“Up to you,” I replied … anything to make the night a little more exciting than in the past.
There were a few more phone calls to finalise details before the Saturday night came around.
I left early wearing my jeans and T-shirt to go and help set up. Kelly was to put the children to sleep, let the baby-sitter in and then follow just before the start of the auction.
Around 7.45, 15 minutes before the start, the people started rolling in. I noticed they had got the message about the alcohol. Large Eskies were being carried and wheeled in. I think a lot of people had been bored to drink in the past.
It was about then I saw Kelly arrive. Like wowwwwww!
She had on a short, black skirt, black stockings, heels I’d never seen before and a blouse and jacket.
Behind her was Jill … they must have got dressed together somewhere.
She looked just as delicious – red skirt, red shoes and a tight top underneath a white jacket.
They quickly went backstage to a small change room the kids used when they were taking part in school performances.
There were a couple of opening acts. A local comedian who wasn’t bad and really got the audience warmed up. I noticed the alcohol was being consumed at a generous rate, something he encouraged by making jokes about drinking at school.
The light supper was served and then a group of people asked if we could have a short break while they went out and got more drinks.
Knowing what impact alcohol can have on people at an auction, I announced on the microphone what would happen, and that as soon as everyone was back we would start the main event.
I went out to the back to where Jill and Kelly had been waiting and noticed two empty bottles of wine … they too were making use of the new schools rules!!!
“Ready for action,” I said. “I reckon you two will really help push up the prices tonight. You both look fantastic but I might have already told you.”
“Just a few times since we arrived,” Kelly said and I noticed just a slight tipsiness in her voice.
I went back out on stage, called everyone to order and then asked everyone to put their hands together for my two assistants for the night.
