Sara and I were sitting by a boarding gate at Miami International, waiting for our flight to St. George. We traveled between the States and St. George a great deal and had become friendly with many of the flight crews who worked this run. However, the flight attendant who picked up the PA microphone this morning was new to us. She was a pert blonde with a wide smile and what looked like what was probably a good body.
I nudged Sara. Nodding towards the flight attendant, I asked "Do we know her?"
"No," Sara replied, "she must be new."
"Huh," I said. "We don't see much change in the crews who work this flight."
"Maybe someone's sick or quit," Sara speculated.
Looking around, I noticed that the gate area had become reasonably crowded. We had about 45 minutes until scheduled departure. It looked like we'd have a pretty full flight. The people whom I took to be our fellow passengers were a pretty usual cross-section. There were, perhaps, more young couples than on a flight elsewhere. There was a sprinkling of older people and several whole families. In the corner by the window looking out onto the tarmac was a group of girls whom I guessed to be college students. Off on a Spring Break trip I assumed. Indeed, I assumed that most of the passengers were off on vacation. Sara and I were returning to what had become our primary home.
Just then, the new flight attendant was joined by a brunette whom I recognized, Joyce. The blonde picked up a typed sheet and started to read the pre-boarding announcement that was a staple of a flight to St. George. Although I had heard it a great many times, I still found it enjoyable.
"Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Flight 2745 to the island of St. George. We will begin boarding in a few moments. First, we need to alert you to some special rules which apply to this flight. By the Act of the National Assembly of 17 January 2012, every person entering the nation of St. George must be nude. Nude is defined as the face, torso, limbs, breasts, buttocks, and genitalia being uncovered and completely visible. Footwear which leaves most of the top of the foot exposed is permitted. Persons who are not nude when they present at St. George customs and immigration will be denied admission and must leave the country within 12 hours. There are no exceptions." With this last sentence, the flight attendant's smile grew a bit wider and I thought that I saw a glint in her eye.
She continued, "You should also be aware that, by the Act of the National Assembly of 22 March 2014, the wearing of any clothing is prohibited at all times and all places in St. George. Waivers will be granted for demonstrated reasons of health or safety. Application for waiver must be made in person at the Ministry of Internal Affairs located in Chamberlain, St. George."
"Caribbean Airlines has no obligation to provide return transportation for, or to reimburse any expenses of, persons denied admission to St. George by reason of their failure to comply with the Acts of 17 January 2012 and 22 March 2014. Therefore, if anyone scheduled on our flight today is unwilling or unable to comply with these laws of the nation of St. George, we ask that you please see the agent at the desk in the center of this concourse immediately. The agent will be happy to make other arrangements for you. You are entitled to a full refund of your fare if you can demonstrate to the agent that you were unaware of these laws of St. George at the time you booked your ticket."
The flight attendant stopped reading from her sheet and looked around to see if anyone was leaving the gate to get off of our flight. After a couple of minutes, she keyed the microphone again.
"Good. I see that everyone is still planning to go to St. George. We will start boarding any passengers needing special assistance in a moment. I want to welcome you all on Flight 2745 to the island of St. George. We look forward to seeing more of you, and you seeing more of us, when we get to St. George."
The blonde and Joyce were smiling as the blonde placed the microphone back on the podium. The two flight attendants turned and walked down the jet way towards the plane. A gate agent replaced them at the podium and started the boarding announcements.
A lady sitting on my opposite side from Sara asked, "Why do they bring the flight attendants out for that announcement? Why can't the gate agent make it?"
I volunteered that "I think that the airline thinks it is better PR if that particular announcement is made by one of their employees who is going to St. George and will, him or herself, have to comply with the nudity laws."
Boarding happened a bit more quickly than a normal flight. Few people had huge carry-on bags that had to be forced into the overhead bins. To my pleasant surprise, we were airborne more quickly than was typical going out of Miami.
The flight to St. George took about two hours. The first hour and a quarter were much like any flight anywhere. The seatbelt light finally went off and several passengers got up to squeeze by the flight attendants with their drinks and snacks carts in the aisles. Sara dozed. I read the copy of The Economist I had bought at the airport.
About 45 minutes out from St. George things changed. Unless one was paying careful attention or was familiar with this flight, passengers probably did not notice that the flight attendants, five ladies and one man, had not been visible in the cabin for the last few minutes. What you could not fail to notice was the chief of the cabin crew, Jane, a friend of ours, walking up the aisle from the rear of the plane to First Class. You couldn't fail to notice because Jane was naked except for her shoes. Jane is also a very attractive lady, naked or clothed. I swore, and kidded her, that she had a more pronounced swing in her hips when she walked through the plane naked. Behind Jane, the rest of the cabin crew was making a first pass to gather cups and cans. They were all naked too. Jane got on the plane's PA system.
"Ladies and gentlemen, we are approximately 40 minutes from landing in St. George. Just a reminder that St. George law requires everyone to be naked to be admitted into the country. Caribbean Airlines suggests that, like the crew, you undress before we land. It is much easier to undress here on the plane than in the arrivals area at St. George airport. If you need a bag for your clothing, just press your flight attendant call button. We will be happy to provide you with a complimentary bag."
Sara and I were, of course, familiar with the St. George nudity laws. In fact, we had been involved in the campaign to get them passed. We never wore much for a flight into St. George. Sara had worn a light sundress with nothing underneath, and she had quietly slipped that off once we were in the air. I had worn an old Northwestern t-shirt and a pair of cargo shorts that I had slipped off shortly after Sara disrobed.
The nervous laughter and comments led me to think that we had more than a few first-timers on the flight. Just then, the new blonde flight attendant leaned into our seats, her bare breasts pointed towards Sara's bare lap.
"May I take your cups? You have something to put your clothes in?"
We handed her our cups and assured her that we didn't need a clothes bag. The flight attendant straightened. My speculation had been correct; she did have a very good body.
"Are you new on this run?" I asked.
The flight attendant smiled. "Yes, this is my first flight to St. George."
Sara interjected, "We live there now. Enjoy your stay on our island."
The PA spoke again.
"Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain. We hope that you have enjoyed Flight 2745. We will be landing on the island of St. George in a few minutes. Would the flight attendants please prepare the cabin for landing."
I had not seen the pilot on boarding. The voice on the PA told me that our friend Elaine was in command today. Elaine was one of the two pilots who had captained most of the flights into St. George since the nudity laws passed. Another little quirk of St. George law was that every flight crew coming into the island had to be given a 24 hour layover. Elaine had gotten into the habit of using some of her layover sunning on the beach just south of our house, which is how we had met her. Since we had become friends, Elaine had several times stayed in one of our guest rooms. Since I knew that she was also friends with the manager of the hotel which the airline used on St. George, I suspected that she had a hotel receipt for the nights she had stayed with us and got reimbursed, but I never asked. Elaine was good people.
Watching the flight attendants "prepare the cabin for landing," I marveled a bit at how the St. George flight always had a physically attractive crew. I had been told that the airlines had stopped hiring based on looks decades ago. Yet, the people who worked this flight were always physically beautiful. Even Elaine was a very attractive woman. Perhaps it was self-selection and only beautiful people were willing to work a flight on which they would have to go naked.
Once we were at the gate and the cabin door had been opened, there was the usual line in the aisle to leave the plane. Looking over the passengers, I saw that everyone had, indeed, stripped down, including a few families that were on the flight. We were in no hurry to disembark because we wanted to say hello to Joyce and Elaine when they came off of the plane. We were about the last passengers off, with our small bags, and we dawdled just outside customs and immigration.
Finally, Joyce came off of the plane walking bare, tall, and proud with her small travel bag on one shoulder. Walking with her was the new flight attendant. Sara waved to get Joyce's attention (not that St. George's terminal is large enough that she would be likely to miss us). Joyce came over and gave each of Sara and me a warm, bare hug. After a few seconds of "How have you been," Joyce beckoned the other flight attendant to join us.
"Sara, Harry, I'd like you to meet Kelly."
The lovely naked blonde stepped forward and we shook hands.
"Kelly, are you on the St. George flight permanently?" Sara asked.
"Yes. I've had my bid in for this flight almost since the beginning of my time with Caribbean. There is quite a waiting list to crew these flights. I'm so happy that I finally got it," Kelly responded.
"Really?" I asked. "Why did you want this flight?"
"Are you kidding? Getting to work about half of a flight naked and every other day I get to spend a day someplace where it's illegal to wear any clothes, who wouldn't want that job?" Kelly responded enthusiastically.
Joyce chimed in, "It drives the union nuts because they claim that it is sexist to make us strip and that St. George needs to create an exemption for flight crews. But, pretty much everyone at our company wants to work these flights. No one gives up one of these assignments. I sure wouldn't."
Just then we saw Elaine coming off the plane accompanied by her co-pilot Ed. Elaine came up and gave Sara and me each a hug too.
"What were you two doing up in the States?" she asked.
