Watching

Slowly I sorted out my possessions, it had been six months since my wife had died and it was time for me to move My plans were to sell the house and move back south to where my family lived in the hopes that one day the wounds would heal. For now though they were still fresh, still painful and I found myself weeping more than once as I came across something my wife had given me.

On the night she had been run down while walking along the side of the road we had been married for almost eleven years. He had cried in the court room while admitting he had been too drunk to even notice it when he hit her, ending her life and mine at the same time. The only good news, if you could call it that, was the doctors had told me she had died instantly. She didn't have time to feel pain or regrets.

I had sorted out her things earlier according to the wishes in her will. Her clothes had been sent to Good Will and the rest of her things, jewelry and such, had gone to family members and close friends. The only items I had left of her were several albums filled with pictures, some of her poems and of course our wedding rings. Now though it was time to sort out my things. As I worked over the debris left over from too many years in one spot I came across a small black lacquered box tucked into the back of a dresser drawer. I couldn't remember buying or receiving anything in a box like this. Intrigued I set it on the table and opening it drew in my breath. I saw something I had forgotten I had. A small Jade Crane suspended from a thin gold chain. Suddenly I remembered the day I had found it and what had transpired before. I remembered telling Mia about it and her comments as though it had happened just the day before.

Mia had surprised me with her reaction. She hadn't been upset by my watching and joining this lady, she had been overjoyed by it. She explained tome that this lady had been the earthly embodiment of an ancient Chinese Goddess who had for some reason chosen me. The Crane was her sign that she was going to watch over me and protect me from harm. My wife had insisted that I wear that charm and I did for several years. I did eventually taken it off though, I just wasn't the kind to wear much jewelry. I had a hard time with just a watch and my wedding ring much less a chain around my neck. I could remember the day I had taken it off. I had given it to my wife thinking she might enjoy wearing it. Instead she must have had this box made and put it away for safekeeping.

Our lives had been nearly idyllic after I had watched that woman on the beach. Nearly because as hard as we tried we just could not conceive. I knew this bothered Mia, she wanted us to have children to carryon our family but it just wasn't meant to be. Even with this we had managed to be happy together, at least we had until that fateful night.

I remembered all of this as I sat on the bed looking at that box through my tears. Suddenly I understood what I had to do, what had to be done to end the pain. I was going to return the pendant to where I had found it, if it was the Talisman of a goddess she would want it back before I left. Thinking about it I thought that where I had found the pendant would be the perfect place to do what needed to be done. It was there that I had first met Mia, it was there that we had fallen in love. It was on that beach that we had been married, and it was on that beach that I had pledged my life to my wife. Maybe it was only fitting that my life end there as well. Reaching that conclusion the rest came easily. The packing, the closing up of the house and putting everything of value into storage for our family to find. Everything was done within days.

I knew I was being watched by my friends and family. They knew I was taking this hard as I knew they were worried that I might do something drastic, something stupid. What they wouldn't understand was why. Because of this I made it clear I was going on a little vacation, I planned on traveling a bit. Seeing places Mia and I hadn't had the time to see. I never mentioned to them about the beach, if I had they would have suspected and tried to stop me.

Finally the day of my trip, the last one I would be taking came. The car was packed and fueled, goodbyes had been made and the little box was sitting on the front seat. The drive was a long but surprisingly relaxing one. Just knowing what was coming made it easy to deal with the traffic and delays. Just the knowledge that my pain and grief were going to end was enough to even put a small smile on my face.

I arrived at the small town near the beach late in the evening as I had planned. I had made the reservations in advance so I knew there was a room waiting for me. I was surprised at that room. While it was small it was decorated nicely and was more than comfortable enough for me. For the first time since that night I was able to sleep without the help of sleeping pills or alcohol. The next morning I was up with the sun and had everything packed in the car for the police to find later that day. After a nice breakfast in a small restaurant I drove to the beach and just sat there watching the waves for a while before heading across the sand.

I walked slowly along the beach enjoying the feel of the sand under my bare feet and the sun on my back. I even took off my shirt, letting the light breeze blow softly across my upper body. In my hands I held that small box while looking for the place where I had found the pendant. I wasn't in a hurry, I had all day. Surprisingly I wasn't even melancholy about this, I felt somehow gladdened as though a weight had been released from my heart. Eventually I knew I was getting close to the spot I was looking for. Even though I was standing on the beach I somehow knew that behind that dune off to the side was the place I needed. Turning in that direction I paused for a last look around at the nearly deserted beach before feeling the small bottle in my pocket and heading inland. I knew what I was going to do and this seemed like the perfect place.

Cresting the dune I looked down into the bowl of sand for the first time in years. From where I was standing I could see where she had lain and where I had found the pendant. As I stood there I thought I heard the beating of wings but knew it was just the pounding of my heart. Stepping off the top of the dune I made my way into that bowl, feeling the heat of the sun reflecting off the sand and warming me. Slowly I made my way to where I had seen the goddess while finally acknowledging that she had been a goddess. Smiling I stood there and remembered that day once again.

I could see her laying there, I could even smell and taste her in my memories as I stood there. Stepping closer to that spot I knelt down and opening the box set it upon the warm sand. Slowly I dug a small hole in the sand before reaching into the box and lifting out the pendant. Holding it up before me I watched as the sun seemed to make the Jade Crane glow. The gold chain holding it sparked with warm fire as it twisted in my hands. Gently I lowered the pendant and chain into the hole I had dug for it. As it touched the sand in the bottom of the hole I heard what sounded like a footstep behind me.

Dropping the chain I twisted. Who was there? Who was bothering me? As I turned I found myself looking into the sun. Blinded I didn't see them at first. When I did see them I could only sit there dumbly and stare. I knew I had to be hallucinating. Had I taken those pills and forgotten about it as I dug that hole? Was my mind playing tricks on me? That had to be it, the last gasp of my rational mind as it realized what was going to happen. There standing before me was the same beautiful woman I had seen here the last time, but this time she was not alone. Beside her was what could only be her twin.

Sitting there looking up at them I was mesmerized by their beauty. The two of them stood there before me wearing nothing but their perfection. Slowly they stepped closer until they standing on either side of me they helped me to my feet, impressing me with their strength. As I stood there, towering over them, I watched as they slowly and carefully spread out a blanket on the sand. Turning back to me the one who seemed slightly older smiled gently before stepping over to me and wrapping her arms around me kissed me full on the mouth. She hugged me tight for a moment before stepping back and waving the other to me. This second one stepped to me and again wrapped her arms around me. She seemed almost shy as she lifted her face to kiss me. When her lips touched mine it felt as though a shock had passed through me, my legs became numb and unable to support my weight.

The two of them caught me before I fell and slowly lowered me to the blanket. Arranging me just so they stood there for a moment before joining me on that piece of cloth. The two of them knelt beside my body and placing their hands together rested them on the center of my chest with their eyes closed. I could have sworn I saw tears dripping down their faces as the knelt like this and I could feel a sense of peace slowly creeping over me. I knew then that I had taken the pills and this was a dream caused by the narcotics coursing through my system. Slowly they lifted their hands from me and sitting back looked own at me and smiled. Slowly they moved, slowly they lay beside me on the blanket covering the warm sand. I couldn't move to touch them but they touched me instead. I felt them slowly moving their hands over my body as first one then the other kissed me. I wasn't worried, I was relaxed and enjoying what they were doing.

When the one mounted me, holding me and guiding me inside of her I felt a sense of peace I hadn't felt in a long time wash over me. I hadn't felt this way since Mia died. As she rode me the other lay beside me and kissed me while guiding one of my hands between her thighs to explore her wetness. I knew that I was dead, I knew that this was a waypoint on my trip to hell but I wasn't worried about it. I wasn't worried because I knew what I had done was right. What was happening to me now told me that.

The one riding me started making a keening sound in her throat, the first sound either of them had made, as she started speeding up her movements. As she sped up she started working her muscles deep inside herself, something Mia had liked to do. Feeling this I could feel the tears on my face as I thought again of my darling wife and of how she had been taken away from me. I couldn't be sad though, I knew I would soon be seeing her again. Soon enough I would be in her arms again. I was thinking this, feeling this even as I found myself thrusting up into this woman who was riding me. I could feel her companion kissing my tears away even as she rode me, even as she came closer and closer to her orgasm. The way she was working her muscles as she rode me was getting me closer and closer to my own release. Somehow I knew that when I came I would leave this world, I would be no more. I didn't fear this, I looked forward to it and approached it eagerly as I thrust up inside this woman.

Even as I was thinking this I knew there was something I had to do. I wanted to please this woman who was riding me, I wanted her to reach her orgasm. Even though I knew she was a figment of my dying mind I wanted her to feel the pleasure she was giving me. Lifting my free hand I reached up and found her breasts. Small and firm yet surprisingly soft they barely filled my hand. Her nipples were harder than I had expected, rubbing against my palm as she moved on me. Carefully, gently I trapped them between my fingers. Feeling them harden even more as I gently pulled and rubbed them making her gasp. I could feel her tightening around me as her breathing quickened. Her movements were becoming erratic as she started to cum around me. Moving my hand, I shifted it so I was holding her by her tiny waist. Steadying her, guiding her as I thrust up inside of her I watched as she did something my Mia had always like to do. She leaned down and kissed me, gently biting my lower lips as she did so. With a final thrust I felt myself shooting deep inside of her as she screamed into my mouth.

I know I must have passed out for a moment or two, I know I died then but somehow I was able to still see this woman laying on my chest with me still inside of her. I could feel her body moving as she breathed. I could feel myself slowly shrinking inside of her as our combined fluids seeped out of her and onto me. I could even feel her companion laying beside me, my hand still buried between her thighs. As I lay there feeling this the woman on top of me moved, slowly she pulled away from me then stood as her companion rose from where she was beside me. Now I knew it was the end. Looking up at them I watched as the one who had been riding me reached down to take my hand. Easily she pulled me up to stand before them.

I watched as they stood there looking at me. I watched as the one in front of me slowly reached out and lay her hand on my chest. I almost screamed when I felt the cold fire burning into my chest for a moment. Then it was over. Was I dead? Was that it? What was going to happen to me next? As though sensing my thoughts the one beside me turned to look at me.

"She too is Mia." She whispered. "Like you she died, but for her I was too late. Now I can fix that, now I can make things right. You two are one. You two are eternal, your love is forever."

I didn't understand what she was saying. I found though that I couldn't ask her what she meant as she smiled at the two of us before turning away. I could only stand there and watch as she slowly vanished like a fog on a sunny morning. Turning my head I saw this other, her twin, standing there looking after her with a sad smile on her face Feeling me looking at her she turned to face me. Before I could say anything she raised a hand and touched herself on the chest, where she had touched me. When she moved her hand again I saw something I hadn't noticed before, a Crane was tattooed there. Curious I looked down at my own chest to see the same thing, a Crane was marked into my skin. Lifting my gaze from my chest I watched as she held out her hand to me. Reaching out I felt that same sense of peace wash over me as our fingers touched.

Slowly we dressed as we watched each other. Slowly we made our way hand in hand back to where I had left my car. We didn't speak, we didn't need to. Everything that needed to be said had already been said. Somehow a god had decided to step into our lives. For some reason a god had decided we needed another chance, another chance at love, another chance at life. When we reached the car I realized I had one last thing to do. Facing the water I reached into my pocket and pulled out the bottle of pills that was there. Looking at it for a moment I hefted it while thinking just how close I had been. Looking at her watching me I smiled and pulling my arm back threw that bottle as far into the ocean as I could. I smiled because I knew I didn't need those pills, and I smiled because I had felt a small wooden box resting in my pocket.