Watching and Being Watched

Part One: Watching (Sex Tape Follies)

Logan

Caitlin came into the study unexpectedly and I hastily closed the screen on my laptop. I must have looked guilty. "What's that you're watching? Is it porn?"

"No, of course not," I lied, unconvincingly. "I was just going over the checking account statement." I reached for some papers on the desk and was going to make a show of looking at them.

"Well, let's just see how our... bank balance is doing," Caitlin said, and reached for the laptop and opened it. No sense trying to lie. There, on the screen, was a couple, naked, and having sex. The woman was on top, moving up and down on the man's cock, and her tits were bouncing. I had the sound turned down, but you could still hear her, "Unnh, unnh, unnh," as she rode him.

"I knew it! You're gonna get addicted watching this stuff. I don't know what you see in it when--" Caitlin stopped her tirade suddenly. She looked more closely at the screen, furrowed her brow, shook her head as if to clear it, and then looked again. "That's, that's... that's... Shannon? No, it's someone who looks like her, you perv. You're perving on porn stars that look like one of our friends."

"Take a closer look. Look at the tat on her shoulder."

Caitlin peered closer, despite herself. Then, suddenly, she looked at me again. "Where did you get this?" she said, accusingly. "Did you set up a hidden camera in their bedroom?"

"Mark gave it to me."

"Oh, yeah? Does Shannon know about this?"

"Well, not exactly. But it's not what you think! It's not a hidden camera. She knew they were being filmed. She agreed to it."

"Did she agree to share it with you?"

"Not exactly," I repeated. "I mean, they talked about maybe sharing it with someone at some point. And this wasn't in their bedroom. You can see that if you look at the background. They weren't expecting to be completely private. There's this club... "

"Club? What club?" She sounded suspicious.

"It's a place where you can watch people have sex, or they can watch you. And you can make a sex tape there, if you want. They have really professional equipment. Some people want to have a tape, something to remember when they get older."

"But this is Shannon and Mark! Shannon would never go along with something like this! You're telling me she did this willingly?"

"She did. Mark has been telling me that for the past year, ever since she turned 30, Shannon has been obsessing about getting older. She's even said things to him like, 'I'm gonna get old and my tits will sag and you won't want me anymore.' And the more he would argue that wasn't true, the more obsessed she became. She posed for a set of 'boudoir pictures' with a photographer, but that didn't seem to be enough."

I continued, "She must have been talking about it with one of her work friends, too, because one of them told her about a place where you could do a sex tape--well, a video, not an actual tape. Her friend told her that she and her boyfriend had made one, and she wasn't going to show it to anyone else, but she would always have it to remember how good she had once looked. That really got into Shannon's head, and she told Mark she wanted to do it."

"And he agreed. Figures. "

"Of course he agreed!" I knew I would agree in a heartbeat if Caitlin wanted to make a video, but I bit my tongue.

"You said something about not being private. What did you mean?"

"From what Mark told me, this club has different options. You can just make your own video in complete privacy--they have a room with a couple of cameras that capture the action from different angles, and it's all pre-set. For a little extra, they'll even let you do some basic editing yourself, just telling the software when you want to switch from one camera to another, or even have a split screen with two angles at the same time. It's supposed to be pretty easy to use and they show you how to do it on a practice video. But you can also watch other people live, because some of the rooms are set up that way, if couples give consent. Some couples like being watched."

"And Shannon actually watched other people having sex?" She was still skeptical.

"Mark said Shannon surprised him by wanting to watch some other couples to get some ideas for their own video. He was shocked, but she was so obsessed with making a really good video that she wanted to observe others. You can't watch other people's videos--something about that would make them an adult film studio and violate something or other, so the videos are only for the personal use of the 'clients,' but you can watch them live if they agree to it. The first time they watched another couple, they got so horny they could hardly wait until they got home. In fact, they didn't. He said they drove down this back road--it was dark--and pulled over and did it in the back seat of the car! After that, they went back a couple more times, before they did their own video."

"I can't believe it. Shannon never said anything to me about this."

"Well, Mark said, uh...."

"What?"

"That Shannon thought you wouldn't approve, and she didn't want to risk the friendship."

"I'm not that much of a prude! Am I?"

"No, of course not... but maybe she thinks you're a little less... adventurous, and you would be turned off, or turned against her."

The video was still playing while we were having this conversation. Caitlin was too distracted with coming to grips with this revelation about one of her best friends to pay much attention to it, but she would glance over occasionally. But now she looked more closely, because on screen, it looked and sounded like Shannon was either having an orgasm or getting close to it, as she rode Mark's erection. Caitlin's face was flushed, and she watched the onscreen climax, followed closely by Mark's, who apparently came inside her not long after. It wasn't very artful, being comparable to those amateur porn collections. But, it was our friends, and that was pretty hot.

"Let's... umm... can you start it again from the beginning?" she said after the video ended.

We watched it, and then we were all over each other, stripping our clothes off right there in the study, and I pushed her back in the easy chair and went down on her. She was really wet, and came in my mouth in a matter of minutes, pretty much a record for her these days. I was hard as a rock and slid into her, amazed at how slippery her pussy felt. I really wanted to get her to cum again, but was so turned on myself that it wasn't long before I burst inside her.

The next two nights in a row we watched the video again, this time in our bedroom, and fucked again afterwards. The second time she was even sucking me for awhile, as Shannon was sucking Mark's cock on the screen. They had started out wanting to do all the classic porn moves, licking pussy, sucking cock, doing a 69, fucking missionary, and then doggie style, before finishing with her on top. It was hot, all right, but after we had seen it three or four times, Caitlin said it had seemed too scripted. If she ever did anything like that, she'd want it to seem more natural, which meant, more spontaneous.

This was the first she'd shown any indication that she might be interested. I wasn't sure what to say, as the wrong thing might kill the whole idea. I really wanted to do a video, and I also was really turned on by the thought of watching other couples live--which I wasn't sure would appeal to Caitlin at all, so I didn't say much. She wanted to ask Shannon about it, but didn't know if Shannon even approved of Mark's sharing the video with us, and didn't want to cause any trouble between them. So I agreed to sound out Mark first.

An opportunity came when he asked me to help him run an ethernet cable down a wall. Shannon was out shopping, so the place was empty. "So, uh," I started. "The video..."

He brightened right away. "Did you watch it? I know you did, but the real question is, did Caitlin watch it?"

"She kind of found me watching it. At first, she thought it was just typical porn, then recognized Shannon..." I was kind of surprised that Mark wasn't self-conscious about my seeing him. I mean, he was in good shape and all, but, I wasn't sure how comfortable I would be with someone seeing me, seeing all of me, that is.

"Did she like it?"

"Oh, yeah. Well, shocked at first, but, then... intrigued... and then..."

"I knew it! You did it, didn't you? And I bet it was better sex than you've had in awhile. Admit it!"

"Yeah," I said, sheepishly. "And not just once, either. A couple of times since."

"Well, it's done wonders for our sex life. Shannon wants to make another video, maybe a couple more. Now, when we're doing it, she'll be saying things like, 'Wouldn't this be a good angle?' or 'We could set up one of the cameras to do some real closeups, maybe even a cum shot.' It's unreal. It's like she's become this porn director, as well as actress."

"Geez, that's incredible. But I've gotta ask, does she know you shared it? I mean, Caitlin is kind of freaked that if she lets on, it might cause problems, maybe even break up you two."

"We talked about whether we'd want to share it with anyone. Nothing online, that's for sure, which is why it's on a flash drive and not uploaded anywhere. But we did agree that if we ever shared it with anyone, it would be you two. We didn't make any definite plans, but she hadn't ruled out the possibility."

"Why us?"

"We thought that you would be more open minded than most of our friends, that you'd understand why we made the video, and, who knows, maybe we thought that it might make you want to do it, too."

"Well, it's a thought, but I can't like... I can say pretty definitely that if we do make a video, Caitlin is never gonna share it with anyone, so if this was meant to be a sort of a deal--"

"No, no. Nothing like that. We just wanted to have some fun. And Shannon is probably more of an exhibitionist than Caitlin, for sure."

****

It took awhile, but eventually Caitlin agreed to visit the club. The operation was pretty discrete. We had to be recommended, which Shannon and Mark did, and there was some vetting. They even did a background check on us. They had to be careful, because they were essentially allowing live sex shows, which weren't legal, so it had to be in the framework of a private club with various activities, some of which didn't involve sex, though that was the reason people were there.

Needless to say, they didn't just cater to heterosexual couples; there were gay couples, lesbian couples, and three-ways in various configurations. There may have been larger groups I'm not sure, as we didn't look into that.

The club was in a nondescript apartment building. No signage or indication that it was anything more than a residence. We were met by one of the co-owners, Holly, who gave us a tour. There were two rooms, each equipped with a two-way mirror to an adjacent room. This allowed clients to watch others have sex without actually being in the room, so anonymity was guaranteed. Holly pointed out that an added benefit was for couples who were shy about having sex in front of an audience. This way, they could make love, knowing that someone might be watching them, but not knowing for sure. The mystery was exciting, and was a good way to ease into having sex publicly.

I asked if it was ever revealed whether anyone was watching or not. "No," Holly answered. "Our policy is not to tell them, so it remains a mystery. We also respect the privacy of those who want to watch."

There were three spacious bedrooms upstairs, each equipped with a king-sized bed and a sofa and loveseat. These were the rooms where the watchers would be in the room with those having sex. The couples would themselves decide whether there would be any contact among the participants. The club had a strict rule against anything non-consensual or abusive. And the couples would meet beforehand, as they all had to agree before any encounter took place.

Did couples or groups ever set up repeat performances?, I asked. Holly answered that the policy was to discourage ongoing relationships within the club. Their goal was that each encounter be unique, a one-off, and anonymous. Occasionally it happened that two couples might encounter each other again by chance, but if that happened, they were usually warned that if they wanted to pursue an ongoing relationship, to do so outside the club.

Holly also showed us a smaller room with just a bed and a fair amount of video and audio equipment. This was for those who wanted to make sex tapes, such as Shannon and Mark had done. There were three cameras that could be adjusted to different angles, but it was basically what is called a "one-button studio." Once the cameras were set up, a single button would begin recording on all of them. There were monitors for each camera, if you wanted to watch in real time. There was an editing console in a small adjacent room. Holly said the software was set up so that all you had to do was basically watch the recordings and select which camera you wanted to include on the master recording, or even have multiple views on a split-screen if you wanted. There was a 10-minute demo recording that was available if you chose to make a video.

This gave us a lot to think about, after we left. I was excited about all sorts of different possibilities, but figured I'd screw things up if I brought up the subject, so in the next few weeks, I restrained myself as much as I could, and only talked about it when Caitlin brought it up. Our lovemaking was more frequent than it had been before, but the difference wasn't dramatic. There were some times when I was willing to bet that she was imagining watching or being watched, but if she were, she wasn't verbalizing it. Once or twice I would say something like, "Do you see the other couple beside us? They're doing it, too," or "It would be hot to have this on video," but she didn't reply, though I imagined that she may have gotten a little more excited.

Caitlin was not into verbalizing her fantasies, that was clear. Over the years, I would sometimes try to spice things up by suggesting we role play or act out a fantasy, but she almost never took the bait, and sometimes would seem annoyed. I think she must've had a somewhat repressive upbringing. I mean, she was responsive in bed, and enjoyed sex, even if less often than I would prefer. But when it came to fantasizing or role playing, she was more inhibited.

So I was prepared to abandon the whole idea, and was therefore surprised when one day she said, out of the blue, and seemingly with resignation, "Okay, I think I'd like to set up a visit to the club."

"Are you sure? We don't have to do this if you don't want to."

"Yeah, I'm sure. I've been thinking about it, ever since. Part of me thinks it's a little pervy, but another part of me thinks I'll always regret it if we don't try it. But just not a video, at least not at first. I'm not sure I'm ready for that."

I expected Caitlin to want to go with the two-way mirror option, either to watch or be watched, as I don't think she was comfortable with admitting she might be a budding exhibitionist or voyeur. So I was surprised when she indicated she be willing to consider being in the room with another couple. The club had certain hours, usually in afternoons and evenings, and appointments were encouraged so that you were fairly sure there would be others there when you chose to go. We went there on a Thursday evening at 7:30 to meet the other couple that the hosts thought might be a good match for us. We had filled out some questionnaires about our interests and had expressed a preference for a couple not too much younger than us, as we thought it might be intimidating to see some young and beautiful and athletic couple. We were open to the idea of a couple older than we were, or around our age, in the 30s. No racial preferences.

We arrived at the club and went to a lounge area that had a small bar, to meet the other couple. We were nervous and glad there was alcohol. It was made clear that either couple could back out if they didn't feel comfortable with the others. Caitlin and I each ordered a cocktail, and after a few minutes, the hostess brought another couple to us, introducing them as Ted and Ellen, which may or may not have been their real names.

We felt reassured right away. Ted and Ellen seemed... average, but in a good way. They didn't look like movie stars or porn stars, but like the kinds of people you might see in your neighborhood. I heard Caitlin breathe a sigh of relief. She'd been nervous about that. The other couple looked a little older, maybe early 40s. Also not a bad thing. Ted was probably about my height, maybe slightly taller, and a little more solidly built, but didn't look like someone who spent every spare minute in the gym.

Ellen was on the curvaceous side. She was certainly not fat, but just not movie star skinny. Ample breasts, but not buxom, slightly rounded at the hips. She probably carried ten or so pounds more than it would take to make her thin, but it made her look like a real woman, not a fantasy. She had dark hair, down to her neck, and a very slight coppery glow to her skin that suggested some mingling of the races somewhere back in her heritage. Her eyes were very blue. The overall effect was alluring and sensual.

They sat down and each had a glass of wine, and we made small talk. Usually in those situations, we ask each other questions about our professions, but it seemed like we didn't want to be revealing too much that would identify us. We did talk about what brought us here, which seemed natural enough.

Ted and Ellen had been married almost twenty years. A few yeas before, they'd thought about finding a way to spice up their physical relationship without endangering their marriage. They were committed to each other, so outside affairs, whether secret or open, swinging, or partner swapping was out. Once, on vacation, they'd been walking along the beach and had rounded a curve on the shore, which took them into a recessed area and they came upon a couple who were obviously having sex. They froze, and realized the other couple had not seen them. What to do? They began to retrace their steps, quietly, but then Ted realized Ellen wasn't behind him. She had ducked behind the remnants of an old, decaying pier, and had a good angle on the other couple. It seemed she was quite close to the couple, but from the side, and they didn't appear to be looking in our direction.

They watched as the two made love, the girl on top, and she was rubbing her clitoris as she moved back and forth on him, more back and forth than up and down. After awhile, the girl seemed to cum, and just after that, the guy did as well. As she collapsed on top of her partner, Ted and Ellen decided they'd better get out of there. Ellen turned to go, and he was following her when he glanced back for a final look. The girl was looking at him! And she smiled. So she, at least, had known they were being watched.

Ted and Ellen made a hasty retreat back to their room. He told her that the girl had seen him, maybe had seen them watching the whole time. And they'd kept right on doing it. It was unbelievable. Ellen and Ted told us that they made love twice that night.

Ellen said, "We were so turned on by what we saw. We'd never seen anyone have sex before, I mean, for real. We'd seen some porn films, but this was like, real. It seemed to unlock something inside us that we didn't know was there."

Ted continued, "Gradually, over the next few weeks and months, our focus shifted a little. We talked about the fact that the girl had seen us watching, for at least part of it, maybe the whole time, and obviously hadn't minded. Did she enjoy being watched? Maybe both of them did? How could that be? We'd read erotic stories about people who liked to be watched, but those seemed like fantasies. This was the real factor, again. From there..."