Tracy started the conversation as a joke. There was a guy at a barbecue that her housemate Rosie had organized. His name was Richard, but Tracy called him Dick, because he was a dick. He was bragging about being a talent agent; he ran an agency for aspiring models. The guy was trying to tell Tracy she might be the 'type' his clients went for.
"Oh really?" Tracy said sarcastically. She had been drinking, but not that much. Dick asked if she had ever put a portfolio together, perhaps he could help her organize one?
"I have one already," Tracy said flatly.
"You have a portfolio? A professional portfolio?"
"That thick," Tracy said, holding her fingers an inch apart.
"You've modelled?"
"Dozens of times."
"Professionally?"
"If by that you mean getting paid for it? Yes."
"Your portfolio...can I see it? Where is it?" Dick asked, excited. "What photos?"
"Everything available, did every piece of work that came my way."
"Lingerie?"
Tracy tilted her head.
"Underwear," she confirmed.
"You have it here?"
"In my room," Tracy nodded.
"Could I see it?"
"Sure. Why not?" Tracy said, a slight grin on her face. Dick went to follow her to her room to get it.
"Stay," Tracy told him.
When she came back, a small crowd who had overheard the conversation had gathered around the games room sofa. Tracy held a big thick photo album. It was old and slightly tatty. Dick sat next to her, and people stood curiously around.
"This is where it started," Tracy told him, as seriously as possible. "Baby food jars. Then the same spread was used for formula."
"That's you?" Dick asked, stunned. "You're that baby?"
"Uh-Huh. Then these toy covers, on the boxes, look. These ones went on the covers of girls play costumes I'm wearing. Then all these Walford catalogues. See here's the pants and singlets, I know you wanted to see the underwear shots. That's a pet food commercial. A makeup box set for tweenies. All of them me."
Everyone was laughing and teasing her, it was fun.
"Nothing as an adult?" Dick asked.
"Made my fortune and retired. Burned out at twelve," she said, pursing her lips. Uncertain of whether he was being made a fool of, Dick retreated to the bathroom, then swimming pool. He didn't mention his job again that day.
As people left the party in the late afternoon, Tracy was introduced to Kazu as he stepped out the front door.
"I'm just leaving, but nice to meet you," he said taking Tracy's hand gently.
"Oh, you too."
Tracy had a tingly moment as they briefly touched. He was stylish. Handsome. Kind of cool in an attractive and friendly way.
"Here. If you really do have interest in adding to that portfolio...perhaps this would be more appropriate."
Tracy looked at the business card he gave her. It was black. In light green letters it had Chinese characters, and Kazu written in English. On the back it had a phone number and social media tags.
"Look it up. If you have interest," he smiled, then left.
Later that evening Tracy casually asked Rosie about the guests she invited, Kazu included.
"He does guest spots sometimes at Design School. He's from Industry."
"Oh. What about Richard, then?"
"Richard?" Rosie laughed. "He's just a dick!"
Tracy looked Kazu up.
"This is a proper company," she said to herself. Fashion event photos, training classes, videos of shooting sets. There were links to articles written about Kazu. He was the real thing.
"How the hell does Rosie know this guy?" she asked herself.
Tracy had a boy chasing her for ages. Jeff. He was okay, decent looking, nice. Nothing wrong, just not sparkling. They went out to movies; he took her to some parties. They had started to kiss. One late night at his flat on the sofa he got her top and bra completely off. Not her shorts, though. When his hand went in, she pulled it back out.
"I'm not ready," she told him. It was enough she had given him her bare breasts. Tracy's clothes never came off easily, she was never completely comfortable being undressed with men. And the way Jeff sucked and kissed her nipples, it was for his benefit not hers. His obvious adoration kept her with him for a time, but she couldn't tell how long it would be enough. Even his bare chest against hers didn't feel right. It was too smooth and girly. She made sure most of their dates didn't end up inside or somewhere private. It frustrated him no end, but he still kept trying; which alienated Tracy even more.
"Be a man and dump me," she would telepathically tell him, to no avail.
"Tracy, come in here. This is my Fine Arts tutor from School, Matthew."
Tracy was coming back from her own evening classes. A bottle of white wine was open on the table in front of those two.
"Oh. Hello."
"Matthew has moved here from Canada."
"Oh? Welcome. You moved with the school?"
"No, no, the school is a side job. I price art for auction."
"Wow. My uncle used to do that for wines."
"Really? Who for? Perhaps I know him."
"I don't think so. He died when I was back like ten or so."
"Oh, I'm sorry. Not the wine, I hope?"
"Yes, a poorly priced item led to a fight on the podium."
"Are you serious?" Matthew asked.
"No. He fell off his motorbike."
"Oh."
Tracy read Rosie's face and moved on. Later that night she spied them kissing on the front porch as he left for home.
"Are you allowed to kiss your teacher?" she asked at breakfast.
"We're not kissing," Rosie denied.
"I'll take that as a 'no' then," Tracy sniped as she moved out of the kitchen.
Now that the old portfolio was out of the box at the bottom of the cupboard, Tracy thumbed through it some nights. She had wanted to be a model. She had waited to be discovered, but it never came. Her agent only did juvenile models. Once she was a teen, she slipped off their books and into a life of mundanity. Is that a word?
She was too normally beautiful her mother had been told. Slim, blonde, medium perky breasts. Ass small and tight. Eyes to match her smile. Models like her were dime a dozen, her mother had been told.
"Not on any street I've walked down," came the bitter reply.
"Walk down Fairfax in LA and come back and tell me you still think that," came the curt answer.
Tracy looked through Kazu's Instagram again, wondering if it wasn't too late. She should have called straight after they met. He wouldn't remember her now.
"Matthew!" Tracy nearly shrieked one Friday morning. He was in her kitchen, topless, in only his boxers. "You stayed?"
"I stayed."
Tracy was in a camisole with no pants. It barely covered her ass; her nipples were plainly pressing forward. She froze, wondering whether or not to turn and hightail it back to her room.
"I've made coffee. You want some?"
"I don't drink coffee," Tracy replied, shaking her head.
"Tea?" Matthew tried instead.
"Yeah. Okay."
She had to show him where everything was, him checking out her ass the whole time she did it.
"I may as well have made it myself," Tracy ribbed.