Unattractive

Mandy had known all summer the day was coming, and she had almost given up on pretending she wasn't looking forward to it nearly as much as Laurie was. Almost, but she still wasn't quite over her reservations on the morning Laurie came bounding into the staff mess hall with the news.

From the joyous look on Laurie's face, Mandy all but heard the words before they came: "The Saint Agnes boys are coming today!"

"I can guess which version of 'coming' we're talking about here, huh?" Mandy said with a wry grin between sips of her coffee.

"Now you're getting the spirit!" Laurie declared, pouring herself a cup. Then she plopped down in the seat across from her college friend. "You know you want to join me this time, Mandy," she said. "It's our last chance, isn't it?" At twenty-four and both of them having just finished their masters' degrees, they were both off to the wide world at the end of the summer -- but not before a sixth and last turn teaching and lifeguarding at swimming camp.

Mandy only sighed and gazed out at the scenery in response, wondering yet again just what it was that possessed her normally demure and shy ex-roommate to become such an utter sex freak once a year. She knew better than to ask, for Laurie's answer -- "just something that happened to me in high school" -- never changed a bit.

"I mean, no pressure if you still don't want to," Laurie said.

"Right, you're willing to bear the burden of being the only woman in a room full of buff naked college guys," Mandy said with a knowing laugh.

"Exactly!" Laurie cackled. "But I do think you'd get a kick out of it too."

"I just might," Mandy confessed. "I sure wish I knew just what happened to you in high school, though."

Laurie gave her old friend a probing look. "If you join me, I'll tell you."

Mandy nearly spilled her coffee, and was sure she'd misheard her old friend. "Seriously? The one and only thing you've always refused to tell me?"

"It's about time I got it off my chest," Laurie said. And after a quick look around to make sure no one else could see, she gave her own breasts a quick fluff. "My beautiful chest, that is. The Saint Agnes boys always think so."

"They're not the only ones, Laurie," Mandy said, as she always did. "You do understand that, don't you? You don't have to act like a pervert for guys to be attracted to you?"

"I suppose," Laurie said. "But don't you find guys are more attracted to you if they've seen you naked, or at least in a swimsuit?"

Mandy laughed. "Sure, but Laurie, you're beautiful already! You don't need to --"

"Thank you," Laurie interrupted. "But...let's just say I've got it on good authority that my body is attractive and my face is 'unattractive'." She used air-quotes on the last word, as Mandy had seen her do a hundred times or more before.

"Laurie, what is it with you and that word?!" Mandy shook her head at her friend, who was not unattractive at all, with her wide eyes and pleasantly plump lips and her dark hair styled in a fresh pageboy cut. For all Laurie's elusiveness about just what had happened to her in high school, Mandy had learned the word 'unattractive', quotes and all, was somehow related to it.

"I told you, I'll tell you what it is if you join me," Laurie said. "It's all part of the story." She gulped down the coffee and picked up a pastry, and stood up. "Now, want to come join me for a swim and a rehearsal?"

"A rehearsal?" Mandy knew what she meant, but she still couldn't quite believe her friend wanted company for such a private -- yet perversely public -- activity. But she admitted to herself that a summer's worth of eye candy in swimming trunks had her feeling quite randy too. Not as much as the bizarre sex kitten her friend always became for the last week of the summer, but close enough. She grinned. "You know what, Laurie? I will join you."

"Really?" Laurie looked more bewildered than pleased.

Mandy nodded. "What can I say? You're my best friend, and this has been a mystery about you for five years. Always so demure and even a little bit shy, and you did choose to go to an all-girls school, not like me where my father insisted on it, and one week a year you play a porn star. And you have this thing about the word 'unattractive' when you're anything but that." She stood up. "I've just got to know, and I confess, you've kind of got me wanting to live dangerously for a change."

"I can see that from your shorts," Laurie snickered, having seen for the first time that Mandy was wearing her tight orange shorts with the column of bright silver buttons down the center.

"I'm the wrong gender for that joke, silly," Mandy said.

"No, you're not," Laurie replied, pointing at her friend's shorts. "Haven't you ever noticed, the creases from when you sit down, and the buttons -- it's like an arrow pointing to your pussy!" She laughed so hard she bent over.

Mandy looked down. "Geez, Laurie! I'd never noticed that before. Now I'll never not see it again! If I ever wear these shorts again, that is!"

"Oh, Mandy, please don't ever make me think I've spoiled anything for you sexually!" Laurie was suddenly dead serious. "We spend so much time being expected to pretend we don't even like sex!"

"I like sex just fine," Mandy said as they resumed their walk across the green to the main pool. "I just don't see why you've got to make everything about it this one week out of the year. But you're going to tell me, you said?"

"If you join me," Laurie agreed. "A promise is a promise."

The locker room offered no privacy at all except for the toilets, but it was empty when Laurie and Mandy arrived. So there was no turning back now. Mandy saw no point in delaying the inevitable, and she set about undressing for the shower. She also saw no point in being shy in light of what she had agreed to, and looked openly at Laurie as she did the same. She could, at least, see just why Laurie seemed to feel more attractive with her clothes off, for Laurie's body was indeed breathtakingly beautiful. She had a classic hourglass figure, breasts just big enough to hang enticingly when she removed her bra, shapely hips and rear that looked even from a distance to be toned and hard from all the swimming, and a symmetrical jet-black bush cloaking her womanhood, teasing her pale skin with dark wisps along all three sides. She had it all on display and was standing hands-on-hips and grinning at Mandy before she could even get all those buttons on her "arrow shorts" undone.

Once again Mandy realized she'd been gawking. "Sorry!" she said, and she hurried off her shorts and panties.

"Don't be," Laurie told her. "I told you, it makes me feel beautiful."

"You are beautiful," Mandy said, pulling her t-shirt off hurriedly and reaching back to undo her bra. "I feel like chopped liver next to you."

"Don't say that!" Laurie said. "You're lovely as well, and you can bet the Saint Agnes guys will think so."

Mandy laughed. "If the sight of us doesn't make them think they're going straight to hell," she said. "You think any of them have ever seen a woman less than fully clothed before?"

"God, I hope not!" Laurie turned on the shower tap and stood aside, waiting for the water to heat up. Mandy, two steps behind her, did the same. "I like to imagine them all just as new to all this and just as wound up by it as I was when I took swimming freshman year. Remember that feeling, so dirty and sweet at the same time that you thought you'd burst out of your skin?"

"Because I was showering in the locker room?" Mandy said as she stepped into the now-warm spray. "Sorry, no, I don't. For one thing, I'd already had a boyfriend in high school, so nudity didn't seem so taboo."

"Oh, it did to me!" Laurie said. "Had to keep a lid on that when I wasn't alone, of course, but when I did have that shower room to myself...ohhhhhh!" Her sigh of pleasure wasn't just from the memory, for now Laurie had her fingers buried in her bush and was circling her clit playfully. "Oh, the memories this brings back!"

"Laurie!" Somehow Mandy still found it in herself to be surprised at her old friend. "You masturbated in the locker room?"

"Every chance I got!" Laurie opened her eyes just long enough to answer her friend. "You should give it a try, too! I mean, you're naked and hot and wet, aren't you?" With her free hand, Laurie rubbed her shoulder and then down her arm and across her chest, teasing both of her breasts in turn. "Oh, yes!"

Mandy had never played with herself in front of anyone, even any of her boyfriends. She'd never even talked about it with Laurie in all the years they'd been friends, though she'd always assumed she must do it. But her friend's utter lack of inhibition -- and the immense pleasure she was giving herself -- had Mandy feeling utterly titillated herself, and also rather jealous. And she had agreed to join her friend on her last wild adventure, after all.

Mandy closed her eyes and forced her hand between her thighs. The moment she'd made contact, her embarrassment melted into pleasure and relief, as she realized for the first time just how keyed up she'd been feeling. She couldn't quite bring herself to moan out loud like Laurie was doing, but now she saw what her friend meant about the steamy water and the setting.

"Oh, you're right, Laurie," she sighed. "Feels wonderful." Laurie opened her eyes and Mandy was utterly aware of her audience while she had her hand buried in her bush -- which was rather larger than Laurie's and not as daintily beautiful in her own opinion -- and she found she enjoyed it.

They were both laughing hard, but neither of them had come yet when the outside door made its loud report. At once they were both all business again, rinsing out their hair with both hands and struggling not to laugh at their delicious secret. As two older women made their way in to change for the pool, Laurie turned off her shower and picked up her swimsuit from the rack. "Well, I don't know about you, but I really have to pee," she said with a wink.

"Oh, me too," Mandy said, though she didn't have to go at all and was quite sure Laurie didn't either.

They both needed scarcely a minute to finish themselves off in the privacy of the stalls, from which they both emerged in their swimsuits and ready for the pool. Keeping up appearances, they both went to the sinks to wash their hands. "Now you see what guys mean about blue balls, huh?" Laurie said.

"Didn't hurt like they say it does, but it was frustrating," Mandy agreed.

"Oh, it can hurt if you let it go too long," Laurie said. "I should know, I got interrupted plenty of times." Then she snickered. "Blue walls, I guess."

Mandy laughed. They were still laughing when they stepped out into the pool area. Mark, the lifeguard on duty, waved at them. Mandy waved back and then turned to Laurie. "Does he know about...what you do? Do any of the male lifeguards know?"

"They must," Laurie said. "If any of them asked, I'd say they were welcome to join. Only fair when I'm kind of invading their space..."

"Kind of?" Mandy's scepticism had returned.

"Okay, yes, I'm invading their space," Laurie admitted. "But none of them has ever asked. I guess even in a swimsuit, I'm --"

"Don't say unattractive, please!" Despite everything, Mandy hated seeing her friend put herself down.

"Not just unattractive," Laurie corrected. "'Unattractive'," she said, adding the air quotes. All capitals, and underlined. And of course they're wrong, but that's beside the point."

"Why all caps?"

They had arrived at the nearest two available lanes, and Laurie turned to take one last look at her friend. "Because that's the way I was branded." She turned and dove in, leaving Mandy as mystified as ever.

Branded?

Mandy opted not to think about it for the moment, and dove into the water. After all, Laurie had said she would tell all if Mandy joined her.

As she did her laps, Mandy's mind was racing over what she was in for. There was still time to back out, she reasoned...but to her surprise, she didn't want to. It was their last summer at the camp, after all. If she backed out now, there would never be another chance to join Laurie on the naughty adventure she'd watched from a safe distance every summer since they were nineteen. Though Mandy had been utterly gobsmacked the first time Laurie had done it, she had to admit now that she had always admired her normally poised and demure friend's sheer brazenness, not to mention the way she embraced her horniness so fearlessly.

Brazen and horny...neither one was an adjective Mandy would have applied to the nerdy but not unattractive young woman who'd already moved into their room when she'd arrived at their elite women's college for her first year. Her exact first impressions of Laurie were lost to history, but she did recall thinking the poor thing was painfully shy, and looked so mousy she must have wanted to look that way. Though she'd smiled as she got up from her desk to shake her new roommate's hand and had made a real effort at carrying on a conversation with Mandy as she unpacked, she'd looked every bit the introvert trying to be an extrovert. Mandy had read all about the type in her psychology class during her last semester in high school.

Very soon afterward, Mandy would learn tell the girls (like herself) who were at an all-female college on Mom and Dad's orders from the ones who had actually wanted no men around. She hadn't yet learned that on her first day on campus, though, and it had nearly spoiled their friendship before it even began. "Can't believe there won't be any guys around for four years!" she'd groused while putting away her clothes in the dresser. "All my friends are already emailing me about their big parties in every dorm. Wonder what I'm supposed to tell them about us, you know?"

"Actually," Laurie had replied, "That's exactly why I came here. I don't hate guys or anything, but after some of the ones I knew in high school, this was looking like a wonderful alternative."

"No kidding?" Mandy hadn't been able to hide her surprise. "You wanted this?"

"Of course I did," Laurie had said. "Any girl here could've gotten into a co-ed school if she wanted to, you know. What was the acceptance rate -- twenty-three percent or something?"

"So my dad keeps reminding me."

"No offense, but if you don't like it, maybe you should've left your spot for some girl who would like it. There are more of us than you think, you know."

"Hey, I didn't say I hated it or anything!" Mandy had smiled through her irritation.

"But you did say you didn't want it," Laurie had said. "For someone like me who's known for years I wanted a women's college, it's really disrespectful!"

"I didn't mean it that way!"

"I should hope not." And with that Laurie had sat back down at her desk and buried her nose back in the book Mandy had interrupted.

Despite that bad start, Mandy and Laurie had come to be the best of friends soon enough. By the end of the year, Laurie had come out of her shell quite a bit and Mandy had to admit -- privately at least -- that maybe she'd been right about wanting no guys around. She had also proven to be a star on the swim team and Mandy had come by to cheer her on at some of her meets, and had even then been amazed at the transformation when her blushing flower of a friend was confidence itself in her swimsuit.

When Laurie had announced her plans to apply for a job at a swimming camp a few towns away, it was a cinch she would get the job. Mandy had not fancied her own chances nearly as much when Laurie had suggested she apply as well. But facing the prospect of a summer with her perpetually quarrelling parents and her obnoxious kid brothers, Mandy had agreed to give it a try. To her delight, both had been accepted.

That first summer at camp, Mandy had realized it wasn't just her imagination -- Laurie really was a lot more confident and less shy in her swimsuit than fully clothed. She'd been polite enough not to ask why, but she'd wondered about it a great deal. All the more so the night Laurie had divulged her plan for the first try at what had since become a tradition.

That long-ago moment was one Mandy did still recall vividly, for she'd been certain she had misheard her friend. Then she'd been equally sure it was a joke, and had laughed. "Sure, Laurie, you're going to trick the Saint Agnes boys into thinking we have a co-ed locker room, and you're going to join them in the showers!"

"Laugh all you want," Laurie had said. "But I'm not kidding."

Though she still didn't believe her friend, Mandy had decided to humor her. "You do realize you'll probably get fired for this?"

"No I won't. I've talked to Barbara about it, and she thinks I'm crazy just like you do, but she said as long as I give them the option of an all-male locker room, she's okay with it. In fact, she said those Saint Agnes boys could use some loosening up. You know who Saint Agnes was, of course."

"The patron saint of chastity," Mandy had acknowledged, having been curious herself after hearing some whispers about the final visitors of the summer. "I googled it after I heard they deliberately wait until most of the women have gone home so it's as close to an all-male camp as they can legally get. Those guys must be so uptight!"

"Exactly," Laurie had said. "And honestly, I know what it's like to be at war with your own sexuality like that, feeling so dirty about it. I'm hoping I can loosen them up a little."

"You're not joking, are you?"

"Nope."

"I don't get it Laurie, you're usually...well, kind of like that yourself, honestly!"

"And that's just why I'm going to do this. Maybe you just wouldn't understand, Mandy, if you haven't been that repressed. If you haven't been made to feel 'UNATTRACTIVE', you know?"

"Unattractive?! Laurie --"

"Don't forget the air quotes, Mandy. Not just unattractive, 'UNATTRACTIVE'. Imagine it in all-caps."

"But you're not!"

"Thank you, but you know, the only time I really and truly believe that is in a place like this, where my body is more on display."

"And showering with a bunch of guys is going to make you feel more beautiful? Why?"

Laurie had looked pensive for the first time that evening, and finally she just shook her head. "You're my best friend, Mandy, but I'm not ready to tell you that."

Five summers later, she still hadn't. But every one of those summers had ended with Laurie playing her trick on the Saint Agnes guys, arriving back in their room looking glowy and proud and utterly happy, and then going right back to her quiet and demure self for another year. Mandy didn't remember when she'd gotten over her disbelief or when she'd started toying with joining Laurie, but now that she had agreed to do that, she had to admit it had been a couple of years at least.

Mandy tried not to dwell on what she was about to do. She tried to focus on the beautiful view from the pool -- the wide, cloudless summer sky and the mountains holding court in the distance, the setting for six joyful summers with her best friend. But this would be the last, and that plunged her into a bout of melancholy that was only overcome by going back to thinking about the Saint Agnes guys and the adventure she was in for before shutting the door on this final summer.

"I wonder how many of the guys are going to notice the same thing you did about my shorts," Mandy said some time later as she and Laurie were getting dressed again.

"Don't let them see you dressed like that, then," Laurie said. "I'm going back to our room to put on my other swimsuit and a sundress over it. Join me!"

"I wonder does Saint Agnes have some rule about that?" Mandy mused. "They're not supposed to ever put themselves in a situation where they might see a woman in a dress with straps less than an inch wide or something?"