I was more than a little surprised when I emerged from my shower late on a Sunday afternoon, freshly washed and shaved after a run, to find a small, reddish female floating in my bedroom. I could tell she was female because she was nude, and her hard, maroon-colored nipples pointed in my direction. "Er," I said, determined to face this apparition bravely, "hello."
"Hello," replied the imp. "I'm here to make you the Ultimate Exhibitionist."
She said it that way, with the capital letters in her voice. I said, "Oh, really?"
"You enjoy exposing your body to other people," the imp said.
"Well, I can't argue with you there, " I said. "I do love going to nude beaches, driving around naked, doing Bare to Breakers..."
The little red woman waved her hand dismissively. "All child's play," she said. "Stick with me, and I'll give you experiences beyond your wildest exhibitionist dreams."
"Look, I have a life," I said. "I don't want to get arrested."
"Trust me," she said, and she smiled. There were a lot of teeth in that smile. I wavered a bit in my bravery.
"And I'm actually a bit timid about exposing myself, anyway," I said. "I mean, I don't really want to offend anyone just to get off myself."
"Hmm," the imp said. "Let me see your body."
I had tossed my towel away almost before her words registered consciously. Since I was already in an exposure state of mind, I guess it didn't take much prodding to get me completely naked.
"Now," she said, "why do you think people wouldn't enjoy seeing that body nude?"
I considered. I wasn't embarrassed of my body, just a little self-conscious about it. I said, "Well, I'm not in the best shape, physically."
"Granted," the imp said, which deflated my ego a bit, but was truth. She floated slowly around me, inspecting me. "Still," she went on, "you have a decent body. A runner's body. You just need a little beefing up. We can deal with that."
"I also feel like I'm too pale."
"Many people would like to be more tan," she said. "No problem. Anything else?"
"Erm," I said, "I would really like to have a larger member," I said. "I think I would be a lot more comfortable exposing myself if I could make a greater, you know, impact."
"You want a bigger dick," the imp said, which for some reason made me start to get an erection. She floated around in front of me and hovered right in front of my penis. She watched closely as it slowly rose up and pointed over her head. "You're not bad right now, hon. But I'd be happy to accommodate that request." She rubbed her tiny hands together. "So," she said, "are you ready to become the Ultimate Exhibitionist?"
"What happens if I say yes?"
"Nothing you won't enjoy, believe me. I'll help you get more comfortable exposing your body. I'll set up ideal situations for you to be naked in front of lots of people." She wiggled her fingers. "I'll work my magic on the people you encounter, and make it easier for you to talk them out of their clothes. The more naked people, the better."
"Why?"
The imp shrugged, grinned more broadly. "Why not? So are you game?"
I shrugged. "Why not indeed?"
"Excellent!" she said. "Well, first things first. Tomorrow morning at 4 AM, I want you to go to a particular gym I know..."
===
I had a script to follow. I had been briefed extensively by the imp. Do this, say that. She assured me I would be pleased with the results.
The imp's chosen gym was located in a strip mall, and it looked very dark. At four in the morning, the only lights on inside looked to be in a lobby and sign-in area. I tried the door and found it locked, so I rapped on the glass. It wasn't long before a woman in a leotard appeared and said, "Yes?"
"I'd like to sign up," I said. It sounded ludicrous to me – a sign on the door clearly stated that the gym didn't open until 5:30 – but I was following the plan.
"Hmm," said the woman, and she looked me up and down through the door. I checked her out, too. She appeared to be in her early forties, with a pretty face unencumbered by makeup. Her brown hair was efficiently cropped, and she was probably a foot shorter than me. Her leotard made it obvious that she was in good shape – lean, not muscular, but not curvy, either. Slim. Fit. Cute.
"Well," she said finally, "you don't look like you're going to rape me."
"Er, no, I don't plan to," I said, and I smiled at her.
"I don't know why I decided to come in so early today. I guess it must have been so I could get you signed up. Well, come on in." She unbolted the door, let me through, then locked it securely once again. "What are you looking to get out of your membership?"
"I want to build more muscle," I said.
"It's great you showed up when you did," she said. "Wow, I can't believe my luck. If I get one more person signed up before we open today, I'll beat that bitch Monica and get the bonus for this quarter." She rubbed her hands together. It must have been a decent-sized bonus.
"Happy to help out," I said. "Before I sign up, I just need to make sure this is the right place for me to be."
"Of course. My name's Lisa." I shook her hand and told her I was Dick.
"Lisa, can this place help me get some muscular definition?"
"Well, let's see where you stand right now. Go get changed into your gym clothes and we'll do an assessment."
"Erm," I said, "well, I sort of stopped here on a lark. I didn't actually bring any shorts or anything with me." I was dressed in shirt and tie, slacks, and dress shoes, just as the imp had ordered.
"Oh," Lisa said, and she chewed her bottom lip for a moment. Then she said, "Well, come with me." She led me into a room away from the long line of plate glass windows that made up the front of the gym, out of sight now of anyone who might be passing by at 4 AM. "Why don't you take your shirt off and let me have a look."
I was more than happy to oblige. Lisa ran hands over my upper arms, my chest, my abdomen, probing and feeling. My nipples hardened from the air conditioning, and also from the stimulation.
"You have decent underlying musculature," Lisa said. "You must run or bike, because you seem to be in good physical condition. I think if you apply yourself, you should be able to get some definition fairly quickly."