I arrived at the building around 7:00 PM. A typical medical office building in a typical office park. The only thing not typical was the parking lot. Except for a few scattered cars for those working late it was empty. Office lights were on here and there, but the parking lot was well lit and seemed not dangerous. It was obvious that most had gone home and the suite of building I was to visit was obviously only inhabited by one person that night. She was a therapist I had looked up online. She was safely outside of my neighborhood and cheap enough so as not to arouse suspicion.
I had made an appt because it was becoming apparent to me that I was addicted to porn. Like many my wife and I enjoyed a good story or a couple good videos which allowed us to tap into certain fantasies but recently I looked forward to her working late so I could watch more or get up early on a weekend to do extra reading. It wasn't out of control yet, but I knew my limits so with my wife working late I sought out this counselor.
I walked up the door and it was of course locked, but I rang the bell and a pleasant female voice asked for my name and I was buzzed in and entered the second suite on the right. There was no one at the window but a sign noted to fill out the form on the table and place inside the window slot along with modest payment for services.
I filled everything out as asked and waited and I saw a female form pick up the paperwork and a few minutes later the door opened, and I was let into her office. She introduced herself as Carla. When I referred to her as doctor, she gently corrected me. "No, I am not a doctor, at least not a doctor in that sense, I am a counselor. But let's talk."
We proceeded to sit in the office which had a nice desk and two comfy looking chairs. Carla informed me she rented this from the Doctor who leased this space. She only worked evenings and after hours as the usual doctor was here during the day. She was only allowed in the waiting area and inner office consultation room which was this inner office due to HIPPA regulations.
"So" she fixed me with her brown eyes, "What is making you seek me out."
Looking back at her I was stunned by her beauty, she was easily as old as I was, but carried herself with immense confidence, and a certain gentleness.
"Well, um, I, uh am a bit uncomfortable talking about it I guess."
She gave me a comforting smile "That's okay. That's why we are here. This is a safe space; we can talk about anything and nothing is off limits or taboo or judged and nothing will ever leave this space. I know you wrote it on here, but being able to say things and talk about them is the first step."
I inhaled deeply but my voice came out a whisper "I think I am addicted to porn."
Again, her soulful eyes looked back at me. She crossed her shapely legs which were clad in a modest, tan professional skirt. "There we go, outstanding! Let's talk about why you think this."
Slightly emboldened by my admission, I spoke but it still came out quiet. "I don't know, my wife and I have always watched porn and read sexy stories together, but lately I find myself searching this out in my free time when she is not home. Sometimes I even think about it while I am at work."
"Hmmm" she mulled over my words "Has it impacted or replaced intimacy with your wife?"
"No" I was able to reply, "But I am afraid someday it might. I mean I make sure to stop before..." I couldn't continue to look her in the eye and finish the sentence.
"Before what" she asked after a polite minute, determined to make me say the words.
"Before I cum. "I said "At least I try not to, and when we are together watching anything goes, but she is working later one night a week and sometimes it helps to pass the time."
"Okay" she sat back her back arching, causing me to steal a look at her ample chest. "What kind of porn do you watch?" l looked down. "You seem a bit ashamed of it. Remember there is no shame here, and no issues. Is it some sort of forbidden thing?"
"No, I don't think so anyway. We watch some straight porn and some lesbian stuff." I quickly spoke up to amend "I don't think, I mean believe, um she is not lesbian."
She raised her hand. "Not at all. Whereas it is very uncommon for straight men to enjoy gay porn, women can watch lesbian porn and be aroused, there are studies about it, but we are here to talk about you. Is that it? It doesn't appear you are getting anything from the porn that you aren't getting at home."
"Well, um" I said feeling somewhat better "We also enjoy CFNM porn.
Her eyes blinked in surprise. "Clothed Female, Naked Male? Is this something you enjoy? I mean is this something you engage in with your wife?"
Again, I found myself stammering. "No, Yes, I mean we tend to take the time to be nude around our house quite a lot and still have sex, but we both enjoy the idea of one being naked while the other is clothed. So, we do this, but I also enjoy watching it on my own. I guess I have an exhibitionist side as now that I think of it I may initiate this more than her."
"Initiate watching this type of porn together?" She looked confused.