I still had her panties. They started my collection. They were purple. I still felt their softness as I thought about her. I still had her number too. I missed her. I missed her beautiful face. I missed seeing her on Facetime. But I learned something recently: Fuck love, and all that comes with it. Despite being a giant horn dog, I am a giant romantic. This story is about dreams and hearts broken in the form of three words:
"I'm getting married."
Remember Amber, from my very first encounter? I never lost my feelings for her. She was my first crush and you know you never forget your firsts.
Back then, I kept wondering:
"Why can't I become we?"
I couldn't see that it just doesn't work like that. Back then I disagreed. I wanted her. I wanted her bad. It was more than lust too. I looked at her like she was one of God's angels. She was gentle and friendly and felt like one of those cool chicks who has your back. However, she had a bit of mystery to her that was intriguing to me. It was attractive. It wasn't like these other chicks who think they're so transcendental. She was genuine.
Her skin was chocolate. Her eyes were big yet beautiful. I wanted her lips so bad. She knew it. It made me crazy. One day, I was on the phone with her. It was the day after my birthday. I wanted to see her face. We hadn't talked in months. When she answered the phone, she said:
"Hey, hun."
"What's up, baby girl?"
She had on a tank top, showing her breasts quite generously with short shorts on. I could almost see her nipples. She was laying in the bed.
"What you doing?" She said.
"Nothing much. Maybe write a little, you?" I said.
"About to blaze up," She said. She was a weed smoker, which didn't bother me at all.
There was something about her natural beauty that drove me crazy. It was almost like she didn't know how beautiful she was. How sexy she was. That day, we would have a random conversation like always on Facetime, until she finally said:
"What was that you wanted to get off your chest?"
Those three words. I finally got the gumption to say it. However, it didn't come out as three words.
"Hey, please don't be offended when I ask you to do this. I'm just saying..." I got interrupted by her.
"I don't get offended. I won't,"
"Okay," I said shrugging. "Can you lick your lips? I know that sounds random, but..."
She quickly licked her thick, gloriously perfect lips.
"What's so sexy about my lips? I know you love them, but I don't understand,"
I got close to my phone screen, taken aback.
"Wait. What? You don't know why? After that time in the..."
"Yeah, that's why I said I know you do," She said.
"Well, they're thick... they're kissable... juicy... when you even bite them it turns me on. Let me ask you something. What's the 'asset' dudes like most on you?" I asked, genuinely.
"My ass."
I started thinking.
"Hmm... interesting," I said in contemplation.
"Yeah, because you loved it. Remember? Just smacking the hell out of it when we fucked that time?" Amber said, laughing.
"Man, I can't help it. It was the heat of the moment, damn it!" I said, jokingly. Then I got sincere. "I wanted you. A long ass time ago, I really liked you. I was too shy to tell you myself. I still do. That night at the football game, you can say it re-ignited my flame for you..." I stopped. What if it wasn't love? I found myself confused. She interrupted me. I didn't say it.
"Chad Dupree. I see you haven't forgotten me. Let me ask you something... do you still have my 'souvenir?'" She said.
"Yes, I do."
"What if I said... one last time, for old's time's sake? One last fuck."
"Okay. Cool. Why one last time?" I said.
"I'll tell you tomorrow," She said, biting her lip.
"I miss you" I texted the next day with the most charm that I had. She texted back: "Horny?" Then a selfie of her with the "duck face". I texted back subsequently: "Wanna find out?" With a picture of my sweats from the front. She later came to get me in her slightly used car that afternoon.
"Where we going?" I said.
