It was a normal, everyday Spring Thursday, and I had just arrived home after a grueling 55 minute commute which had totally drained whatever energy I had left completely out of me. Every day this week traffic had been bad, the result of some of the endless "improvements" the Department of Transportation felt strong enough about to extend into rush hour.
I went inside my modest townhouse, kicked off my shoes, snapped open a brew, and settled into my easy chair to relax. Like a bee to honey, I heard my wife Patty coming downstairs, and I smiled when she entered the room.
"Do you like this blouse?" she asked with a smile, posing in the blue tinted simple shirt. It was nice, nothing special, but she looked good in it. "Yes, I replied, it's nice, honey."
"I though I would wear it to dinner Saturday night," she said.
"Where are you going?" I asked.
"Where? You are taking me to dinner, silly," she replied. "Don't you remember, you promised. We're going to Seaview."
Oh, yes, I think I did ask her, but that was a couple weeks ago after she was complaining we don't go anywhere anymore. It was a throwaway comment to get her off my back, cause it seems like she's always bitching me about something. The yard, the painting which needs to be finished, the car that needed an oil change, not getting a big enough house allowance, you name it.
We had been married 18 years, and truthfully, between work and volunteer work and the kids and work and church and work and, well, you get the picture, we had grown artfully apart in some ways and our lives had become routine in others. Yes, we love each other. But some might not know it.
Our love life was in a drought. When we were just married we made love five, six, seven nights a week, sometimes a couple times a night. After a couple years we got into the few times a week mode many couples do, as life gets in the way of pleasure. But we always made a habit of Saturday night being one for pleasure, and at least one other night a week. Sometimes I would go into work a little late, as she'd humor me with a quickie to remind me of how wonderful (!) I was.
But in recent years sex had been hit or miss. On anniversaries, birthdays and New Year's Eve. Seldom in between. I would be lying if I said we averaged once a month. Some of it was fantastic, but more often than not I felt she was putting out for duty rather than pleasure. Oh, sure, there were times where I could tell she really wanted it, that she had a fabulous orgasm, but the majority of the time it was sex for my sake, and not a lot of that.
In recent months I had attempted to rekindle the flame, a romantic weekend here and a bouquet of flowers there. A nice dinner here and there. It didn't really help my sex life, except that she had humored by with a couple of impromptu hand jobs for no apparent reason. Depressing, actually, but I guess the routine had become routine. Or something like that.
"Rob????. You are not listening to me," she barked, snapping me out of my slumber. "You didn't forget about dinner, did you?"
"No honey, I remember, and that blouse looks nice."
"Okay, okay, but you seem so distant lately. We never talk."
What could I say. I was tired of talk. I wanted action. My secretary was 20 years older than me, but every once in a while I fantasized about her being bent over my desk. Geez.
"Honey, work has been tough, I'm sorry. We'll have fun this weekend, for sure. In fact, if you haven't started dinner I'll run out and get us chinese, what do you say."
"Okay, hon, go ahead. Oh, and by the way, I have something I want to ask you, but it can wait."
Oh, heck, I thought, whenever she asks, it drives me crazy or costs me money. Well, it can wait. I am in no mood for any of her Feng Shui, crystals, homeopathic healing or magic charms talk, and our bankbook was not exactly exploding. Other than a round of golf here and there, and our week of vacation at the beach, not exactly living on easy street. But my job was good, even though the lack of exercise gave me a bit of a love handle. Patty did some volunteer work tutoring some teenagers, proudly driving around in our two-year-old minivan with the "Patty's Jeep" license plates. No, it wasn't a Jeep, but it was a Chrysler, and the plates were a reminder of the vehicle she had through her 20s.
She found the time to work out a couple times a week, keeping in a size 10, a good if not a model's figure. She had nice breasts, 34Cs, and a special pear-shaped ass that I loved to hold on to...when she let me.
After dinner we had settled into West Wing, when, during a commercial, she asked if she could have a few hundred bucks to buy this writing desk she saw at Bombay Company. "It's beautiful, it would go wonderfully in the study."
I shook my head. "Honey, money is a little tight, I'm sure it's nice..."
She cut me off. "Look, cheapskate, I don't ask for much."
"Whoa, cheapskate, who paid for this house, dinner, your car..." my Irish dander rising my the second.
She was pissed. "Wait a minute, you make it sound like I am a whore, you bastard, I do a lot around this house, wait on your hand and foot."
I don't know what happened, but I exploded. All of my frustrations came out at once.
"If you were a whore I would be getting my dick taken care of, that's for sure, a whole lot more than it is, you bitch."
She started crying, and I just can't stand that. I felt like a jerk. I tried to hug her but she pushed me away.
"Aw come on, honey, I didn't mean it," I said, not knowing that my look and tone showed her I really did. I started thinking that I am constantly getting on her case about things, probably because I am so sexually frustrated, but I was sorry to hurt her.
We settled back to the show, on opposite sides of the couch.
Afterward, she said to me again, pouting, "I really want that desk, it's small, it looks great, and it's only $399 on sale."
After a pregnant pause, I replied, "I really want some sex."
She shook her head in disgust.
"You do treat me like a whore when you say things like that."
I nodded, "Sorry, but what can I say? Put out and you can have your desk. How about Saturday night?"
"You mean if we have sex and dinner I get the desk?"
"Yup. And the agreement is for sex in the van, before or after dinner. No idle promises. No IOUs. Sex on demand, payable in full before the merchandise."