The Voice

A little insight to who I am and why I am like I am.

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I used to work in the Sex Industry.

No, not that part of it... Not yet at least. ;)

I was paid to sit on the end of a phone and talk to people. I was a Chat Line Operator.

Paid by the hour, to sit and talk.

I didn't set out to be a "Paid Sex Worker", I was young, I had rent to cover and it started out as a job oddly enough doing something a world apart from sexy...

Ironically starting out as a Tarot Card reader.

However the company I started working for also ran Sex Chat Lines, mostly centred around Female Staff catering to Male Chat Callers (Or 2 minute wankers as the Girls and Ladies working the lines often called customers.)

Most people imagine these places are comfortable offices, where the person on the end of the phone sits in a private office or secluded cubicle. Totally not the case. This was long before the evolution of working at home to do this job, no cam sex or TV channels dedicated to it. Think a long line or several lines of desks, with a plastic chair, a phone on the desk and not much space between each Operator in a bare room. Couldn't be more far from the visions of nubile Ladies sat in Lingerie toying themselves endlessly for Male or Female pleasures and perversions with a massive range of Vibrators and dildos. No stocking clad size 8 women walking past sumptuously aroused and ready to please your every whim and taste. Something I admit I was disappointed by as that'd have been awesome to see on a daily basis given my tastes and the fact I am a very randy guy...

No privacy and certainly not a great place to work. Often spending hours on a phone talking to a stranger who doesn't have any interest in actually having a Tarot reading but just wanting to talk to someone. The things they want to talk about usually heart rending or mundane. "My husbands dying of Cancer, will his pain end soon? Will I meet someone after and be loved again?" (This call still haunts me to this very day, the poor women distraught knowing her soul mate was dying a painful death, but feeling utterly guilty because her heart was still beating and would carry on doing so, and it was too large and caring not to be shared for the rest of her existence.) "Is my girlfriend cheating on me, she didn't give me a kiss goodbye this morning when she went to work..." Will I win the lottery this week as my debts are crushing me and making me feel suicidal!"

So many of the calls were about money concerns, and the irony of calling a Premium Rate phone line that charged (at the time which is many years ago) 36 pence per minute off peak or 48 Pence per minute during peak times wasn't lost on me at all, you couldn't make it up, seriously. They'd spend hours talking to you and would have probably spoken to someone else or several other people already that week and would continue to do so till they eventually got their phone cut off after running up a bill in the Hundreds if not Thousands of Pounds area.

Everything and anything poured out from this endless list of callers who wanted to put some faith in the occult without investing actual belief, so they could unload, download, let go or have a total stranger just absolve their fears or worries, or just listen to them as they were constantly ignored day in and day out by everyone, or at least that is how they felt.

My shifts after my trial period eventually ran from 10pm at night through till when the calls ran out and it got quiet. If you couldn't land a call that was going to last you a few hours you'd end up having to go home early and that was a taxi ride home and dented your wages, so you bust your arse to get a call and hold onto it if you could to ensure you made it through the night to make life easy and get public transport home when it started running; which at the time for me was about 8am. So some nights you'd end up leaving at 4am, others running through till late morning or even the afternoon if you got on a few good calls.

10 hour shifts though was what I looked at putting in as a minimum 5 times a week, and most nights even when I first started I would fight to make that "Need to cross" line. The nights I didn't, I'd just hang out in the office till the buses started running as I wasn't making great money initially and the distance to get home and the cost of a Taxi was prohibitive. So I'd crash out on a desk and sleep for an hour or so, or spend time talking to other Operators who had hit a slow night or those waiting for regular callers to ring in.

Regular callers were Gold, they would only call up and speak to you, and usually stayed on the phone for hours once they got hold of you. This was where you earned your money and your wages really started to rise. You just had to get one, and work hard to keep them, not an easy task.

It was a performance based rate of pay, by the hour. The longer the calls you had or kept; the better your hourly rate of pay got. Initially not so much pressure as basic wage was enough to cover my then rent and few other expenses I had, but later on the demand to perform increased once you got established and spent time working for the company. They obviously watched their bottom line and Operators who were not bringing in higher money were leaned on to improve or to perhaps move on.

So turning random callers into regulars was the key, and getting several regulars and lining them up in time slot windows like orchestrated Jet Fighters waiting to land on an Aircraft Carrier was the best answer to ensuring you made you call quota. This earned much higher rates of pay and oddly; more importantly. Stopped you having lulls between regular calls and having to take random calls which might end in 10 minutes and utterly fuck up all your hard work that night, week and even month as it screwed with your call length averages. One bad night in a month could utterly screw the pooch and take you from being on track for a great wage to an average one and leave you crushed. This happened to me a few times, and every time left me utterly dejected and pissed off.

You were not by law allowed to take a call longer than 2 hours, that was the maximum length allowed, they could call right back and start a new call, and again take it to 2 hours but at the 2 hours point you had to terminate the call. So essentially 4 or 5 Two hour long conversations with Regulars was the Holy Grail, you got maximum call length and in doing so you hit the top pay band for your hourly rate. It would also be an easier shift than fielding random calls where you really couldn't predict what you would get or end up with and your call lengths would be all over the place. Even highly skilled Operators could crash and burn inside of 3 minutes with random calls. Especially as some callers are just ringing up drunk and are only ever going to stay on for a minute or two to throw abuse at you then hang up to amuse themselves.

Consider that for a moment though, having the appeal and ability to talk to someone for 2 hours at a time, and several people over the period of a 10 hour shift. Having to be a social chameleon, say the right thing at the right time, be polite, charming, debonair , discreet, funny, intelligent, emotive, emotional, empathetic and insightful. To complete strangers... Get inside their heads and deliver what they are paying for and based on only what they tell you and trust me, they are reserved as hell and want you to pluck pertinent and prescient things out of the air like it's on tap. Demanding high accuracy based on tight lipped replies and minimal answers till you form some trust or catch their attention.

It's at this point I should perhaps mention. I was only 18 at the time, yes; 18 years young. Limited in life experience, not much in the way of nor holding a vast bag of social skills or highly developed skill sets. Naive beyond belief in many ways and this was all very new. It was also very scary and very serious as the roof over my head hinged on making enough money to cover the rent, then of course pay for transport to commute, food and what was left over to clothe and give me money to attempt having a social life.

No parental support on offer as I had been estranged from my parents since 16.

Luckily for me I was a Night Owl, I'd rather be up at night time than around during the day, so the job, the hours and lifestyle suited me, which was a huge plus.

It took a few weeks working on the lines to find my feet. Never once having touched Tarot cards or even entertaining the notion of being a "Fortune Teller", hell my experience and views of Astrology and such was restricted to laughing at the Horoscopes in the daily papers or on TV. You were issued with a set of "Training Cards" when you started, these had an idiot's guide written on them giving you keywords as to what each Tarot Card meant, and after a 20 minute to half hour "Training session" on how to give a "Tarot Reading" they set you loose on the phones and you started taking calls. Talk about in at the deep end, it was trial by fire. Your first Month was usually done during the Day time, so enough Supervisors were around to support you if needed and some of the Long term Operators were about to give you a hand or give you tips during lull times. Day times were much quieter though with regards volumes of callers ringing in, so they kept it to a bare minimum for the call volume to make it cost effective.

I like a challenge, so it called to me and I jumped in with both feet. Trying to be sincere and making callers want to stay on the line, but it was difficult. Not enough confidence and knowing it came out in my voice. As soon as a mistake was made knowing the shaky foundation I might have managed to build was now ash beneath my feet and soon enough feeling the dread that the "Click" which ended the call was coming. Where as more experienced Operators could back track a mistake or cover over it with fluff or bullshit to make the obvious mistake seem like it wasn't. I didn't have those skills or abilities yet, didn't know enough and certainly didn't have the wealth or range of bullshit at my disposal. It was a huge learning curve, but one I enjoyed. Pulling 20 minutes of waffle and bullshit out of thin air is not as easy as it sounds, making it entertaining or interesting is even harder. Let alone making it feel like value for money is being given as the person on the other end of the phone is aware they are paying for the call and to listen to "The Voice" on the other end of the phone.

Time spent between calls was used discussing tactics and picking up hints from other Operators. Applying what I was told or heard on the next call. Wangling an extra Minute here or there to build up my calls till I was hitting the minimum requirement of a 20 minute call average. Dip below 20 minutes on a regular basis and your job was in jeopardy after your trial period was over.

Gleaning tips and wisdom from other workers was key to survival, listening to their calls, their vocal patter essential, study, learn, practice. All to survive.

The girls working on the opposite line of desks from mine had a different deal, they were taking Sex Calls, so had no pressure of a 20 Minute average, their calls were usually guys calling up on the edge of an orgasm so if they got 4 minutes before they heard his grunt and swear words down the phone it was considered a decent call. They spent most of their shifts with their heads down on the desk, phone close to their mouths and trying to focus on what was happening and block out all the other noise and distractions, but also ensure what they were saying couldn't be heard by other workers or callers. Let alone by someone across a small space discussing a recent bereavement in the family or some other life changing scenario where the moans of a woman faking multiple orgasms was not going to sit well.

These Ladies worked hard for their money and as stated already, were not what you expected. They were not all stunning beauties, dressed to thrill and nubile nymphs as far as the eye could see, some were Grannies and close to retirement, others middle aged mums doing what they had to do to make rent like me. Then there were the girls close to my age, just earning money to go out at the weekend with their friends and buy stuff to make them happy.

Hearing some of the conversations they had with the guys on the other end of the phone was often amusing. Talking to some of the Female Chat Operators was enlightening in some odd ways. It was a whole other world and so alien to what I knew, so was entrancing and exciting. Thrilling and arousing...

The First Chat Call...

I was fast approaching the end of my first month, it'd been difficult to get my calls up above 20 minutes averages but was fast closing in on securing it. A few good calls had lifted my numbers and gaining confidence and learning certain passed on tips and tricks from other Operators had made life a little easier. I'd been complimented by a few callers about how much they had enjoyed talking to me, and would ask for me if they rang up again. This did my ego and confidence the world of good and made me knuckle down to try and get more positive feedback. I tried to send all callers away with a positive experience, most if not all readings telling them things would look up, get better, a new lover was coming, a new job just on the horizon; feeding them what they wanted to hear and sending them on their way smiling and happier.

I'd spoken to a few of the other Male Operators, and they'd hinted that sometimes you'd get a female caller that didn't want "A Reading", being naive I had to press to find out what they meant. They laughed at me and explained in a manner that was condescending and patronising, I was a kid in their eyes, so they treated me like one. They were all very Macho in their view of themselves, each an Alpha Male and having to talk to a mere Cub, so exuded that tone and demeanour like dripping information to another Male was beneath them and not worth their time. It eventually got relayed that some of the guys would take one of the rare calls that came in where a Female caller requested a "Male" specifically, and usually the Supervisor could read if that meant for a Male to give a card reading or if one was available for a Sex Chat call.

They were rare, but not unheard of. & more importantly they tended to last more than a few minutes unlike a typical Male Chat Caller could hold off for. It wasn't discussed much or even acknowledged openly. Once in a while a Supervisor would walk down the lines of desk and go to a Male Operator and whisper in his ear, he would nod, and either end his call or pass it over to someone else, or after it finished he'd stand up and move down the line of desks to a phone that was left on it and take the call. Some of the guys I spoke to bragged they would get sent "Presents" from their Female callers, and often would encourage callers to gift them things or chase for these presents. It was a source of pride and ego shining to these guys when they got handed a letter or little parcel when they came on shift. It all had to go through a Work Account P.O Box system, so no real life details about you or addresses were to be exchanged with Callers. This was a big rule and not to be broken. We were encouraged to use a fake name while working, a "Nom de plume". I never bothered, having a fairly common name, so long as my Surname wasn't mentioned the chances of being known from my work was slim. Not that I even cared about that, my friends knew what I was doing in my new job and thought it was hysterical and were only disbelieving that the job even existed and people paid to have the shit talked to them I'd told them about.

I heard these Male Operators brag about their calls with women, like they were conquests, in that stereotypical Male misogynist tone which sickened me and made me detest them as it wasn't my view or something I liked having to witness or hear.

John, one of the few guys who worked at the company that I did get on with told me sometimes a Tarot call might just evolve into a Chat call. He said this was how he had made his regular caller list up. He said that was the best way to do it, not by taking on a call requesting one like the other guys would pounce at. This guy was rarely if ever off the phone, his callers waited for an hour listening to the dull throb of the office, the phone handset just left on the desk, sat waiting till John, their "Voice" managed to get off the call they were on to whisper honey in their ear, or hear what they needed and were happy to pay for... When he spoke to me, I listened. His words were pure wisdom and I respected him, his advice usually paid off and well. He took me under his wing a little and we struck up a healthy Male bond, he also disliked most of the other Male staff at work, and for the same reasons I generally did. He was a legend in the office, maxing out his call length nearly every shift. He came and went pretty much as he pleased as he was Top Dog. Sat where he wanted, and more often than not was brought coffee or soft drinks by Supervisors as he would hardly have time to leave his desk other than to use the toilet a few times per shift. He was a genuinely nice guy, soft spoken, and a huge man mountain. Came into work wearing leathers and carrying his motorbike helmet in his huge paw like hands. His large motorbike engine could be heard when he pulled up outside work or when he rode away in the early hours of the morning when he'd had enough for the night.

& that is where it all began for me, sat on the line of Operators, in the middle of a day shift and the whole world and in some ways my whole life ahead of me was about to change and some things would never be the same...

End of the trial...

The last few days of my trial month came around and I was sat in the middle of a line of other Operators. Women either side of me, and maybe one or two other men working the shift. The ratio of Male to Female Operators was stacked heavily towards the Females. Only ever myself and perhaps 2 or 3 other Males in the building. I didn't mind, I kind of enjoyed being surrounded by Females.

I got a call from a Lady from London, Lynn was her name...

I guessed she was middle aged and eventually she told me early 40's.

I'll be upfront and honest, her voice stoked my fire from the minute I heard her speak. She just had a pitch and tone that was pleasing to my ears, so I set out to keep her on the phone as long as possible just to keep hearing her speak.

I went through the usual patter of telling her slowly, carefully and deliberately about the price of the calls as this was a legal requirement. Waffled on a little about which Tarot card deck I was using for her reading, which Tarot Card "spread" I would use to do the reading, chucking in a little sprinkling of random details about the artwork of the cards I was using (Lying through my teeth about this as the training cards were very basic and you were encouraged to eventually purchase a proper deck for your own use), their meaning to me and why I used them. All while smattering a dose of good old fashioned bullshit on top about how "The Gift" of reading Tarot ran through my family for generations, it had shown up early when I was a child and a load of shit you could have filled a sewage plant with easily. I was called tot he job and life, pure crap, and fed with a huge spoon.

*checks little digital display on the phone on my desk

Current Call length -- 7m 30secs.

Not bad, nearly half way towards the required 20 minutes and not a single question asked or answered yet and I had not even "Shuffled the cards" to start the reading. I had a positive feeling about the call already, this felt like "Easy money".

No point going into details about the reading because she never got one.