As soon as I saw the envelope I knew where it was from, the distinctive stationery with the little crest on the back. My heart pounded as I fumbled the envelope open. Too impatient to read from the beginning I scanned through the papers. I almost leapt for joy as I read the words '. . . you have been selected . . .'. I had the job!
(Strictly speaking it wasn't a job as I was paying for the privilege but you get the picture)
I looked through the rest of the papers. There were directions on how to get there and a list of instructions which are worth quoting in full here:
'You have been selected for work in Burling Manor. Your purpose here will be to obey the ladies, both staff and guests without question.
You will be naked at all times
You will address the ladies as Ma'am, Mistress or Miss as they please.
You can refuse no request
Expect to begin working the moment you arrive'
And so I found myself, a week later, on a blistering hot summer's day walking down a country lane with a photocopied map in my hand. There was a sign saying Burling Manor tradesman's entrance pointing down a little track next to a high brick wall, so I followed it until I came to a gate. I walked into what must have been a farm yard at one time but now was spruced up and spotlessly clean.
'Oi Mate!'
I looked around.
'Get your clothes off quick or you'll be for it!
There was a naked man with a sweeping brush cleaning the yard.
'Hurry up, sonny unless you want a hiding!'
He stood upright from his work and brushed his grey hair back. With a nod he pointed over to the main building. Two men were getting slapped with a riding crop as they attempted to strip. I quickly took my things off and walked over.
There could be little doubt who was in charge even if you knew nothing about the place. Her stance, legs apart and hands on hips and tone of voice said it all.
'Didn't you miserable little worms read the letter!? You have to be naked at ALL times!'
'You!'
She pointed to me with her crop.