A story by Casuarina
*
I was surprised when Alan invited Jen and me to a soccer social evening, as he was hardly a mate of mine in fact I thought he disliked me intensely. You see I play for a local kick about team every Saturday morning as a reserve, and I don't usually go to these affairs. Sitting in the local that night I was even more surprised when Jen accepted his offer. She was usually very prim, a regular church goer. This created some friction between us, for even though we had been going steady for some time, she had yet to allow me to take any liberties with her. I hadn't even managed to touch her breasts or even seen her in her underwear. In fact if she hadn't been so good looking, and the hope for things to come weren't in my mind, I would have dropped her weeks ago. She certainly was a stunner, a slim blonde, with a great figure, big boobs, great legs, and a great face.
I explained that these evenings could be a bit rough when the lads got a few drinks under their belts, but she assured me she would be alright as they were all mates and not to be so stuck up. Besides there was nothing on at the flicks and after all, it was an evening out. There were bound to be someone there we could socialize with.
The venue was at the Caribbean Room, a local very low dive that let out its back cabaret room for precisely these kinds of venues. Usually there was a band and sometimes a stripper, but this time for some reason they had laid on a local comedienne with a try out band and a magician just for a change.
I should have suspected something was up, when even the lads didn't complain as they usually would have, saying they wanted a stripper instead. Even their birds, when they came, seemed to enjoy some tired tart taking off her gear.
Anyway we turned up at the place, Jen looked her usual stunning self dressed in a white cotton blouse with an embroidered front, through which I could very vaguely see the whiteness of her bra against her tanned skin. She was also wearing a sensible knee length flared red skirt over her stockinged legs. She always looked a treat whatever she wore. Lots of the guys used to rib me about her, but I refused to rise to their crude jests and innuendos. Everyone had tried and failed to get his hands on her body. I knew there were even bets on who would get her knickers off first. The way I was going I felt it probably wasn't going to be me, though I dreamt about her a lot.
The place was the usual dark red and wood panelled room, with a small stage and a tiny dance floor. Around the outside of the dance floor were set up several tables, and an attempt had been made to make the place look nice. The lights were subdued, and each table had a small plastic light fitting, looking a bit tacky, but at least we weren't sat in the center of a brightly lit room. The function rooms were separated from the bar by a long corridor which led from one to the other. The function room also had a separate entrance for access if one needed to take chairs, tables, and other things in and out.
Several of the guys had arrived although strangely none of them had brought their girl friends, most of who worked in the local canning factory and to tell the truth, they were a bit rough. They all thought Jen was a bit stuck up as she worked in the bank as a clerk, and were always trying to put one over onto her. Though the truth was, she was very shy and reserved and not used to the ribald banter of the local slags. Sometimes I thought they made very snide remarks behind her back, but she didn't seem to notice, or maybe just pretended she didn't. Where were they all tonight?
I nodded to a few of the lads and led Jen over to a table with our name on it. One of the guys came over.
"? Hi you two, how are you going?"
"You know, so so, what's the story for the night?"
"Well they've got a bit of a band with some joker, who'll give it a go to start with and then there's a magician who will astound us."
We laughed; I must admit I was a bit dubious about that. Most local magic shows were terrible with awful tricks and even worse jokes to cover their mistakes.
"Well you never know do you," he said winking, "anyway, what you drinking, it's my shout?"
John wandered off to the bar to grab the drinks whilst we chattered on about nothing in particular.
"Well look who's here then."
Doug, the local prat, appeared at our table and started to make fun of us. It was always the same with these big bone head types. He fancied Jen and was always trying to get her to go out with him, she always refused. He always seemed to be trying to grope her whenever he was around.
"Give it a rest Doug we're just here to have some fun so go somewhere else.
"Oh I'm sure some of us are going to have some fun! Who's going to make me, eh, you two rooting yet. Hey Jen you need a real man not this wimp."
Jen blushed red with embarrassment.
"Piss off Doug."
At that moment John returned and Doug slid off.
"What a creep," John said as he left.
At that moment the band started and of course as usual you could hardly hear yourself think with the din. However we all had a bit of a bop, and after a few more drinks the evening was getting into swing.
About nine the band stopped and we all charged the food table retiring with heaped plates to our place. There were only about fifteen men and still no women besides Jen, which was a bit strange. Where were all the women? It was as if they had deliberately stayed away.
We chatted away, with several of the guys, most of who were ok, maybe a bit rough around the edges, but ok. I asked about the women and one of them said it was a works outing at the canning factory which meant most or all of the women were away, they might be in later if they got back early enough, though he doubted it. Once they got started on the martinis they got totally carried away.
The comedian came on, and told the usual mix of lame and dirty jokes, some of which were funny and got a laugh out of Jen, which was a good sign. He finally left and the room return to drinking and joking again.
The lights flashed on and off and it was time for the magician. There was a groan from the guys as a small weaselly guy came onto the stage dressed in a tuxedo that certainly showed signs of wear certainly not at its prime. He came over and smiled at the crowd who catcalled and jeered. Finally the hoo-ha died down as he just stood waiting. There was an eerie silence as if even though he was a small guy he had a kind of power.
"Good evening gentlemen," he said, as though he was referring to rats in a sewer, of course none of the guys realized he was taking the piss.
"My name is Maestro and I am here tonight to show you the wonders of hypnotism, wonders you have never even dreamed of."
"It's a wonder we're here!" some joker said from the back, there was general laughter as the atmosphere relaxed a little.
"Ah, a skeptic! Step up to the stage young man."
It was Albert the local wag. He climbed up onto the small stage and stood smiling at the lads as the man smiled back at him.
"A chair if you please."
Albert was sat down as the man reached into his pocket and brought out a glass ball on a piece of golden chain.
"Do you believe in hypnotism then young man?"
"No it's a load of wank, just you see, you'll never get me to bark like a dog or cluck like a chook."
He laughed, but the other guys were strangely silent as the man smiled at them.
"We'll see. Just look in to this crystal and listen to my voice."
Albert grinned at the audience but surprisingly did as commanded.
The little man swung the glass ball and slowly over the next few minutes talked quietly at Albert. The crowd was fascinated, which was amazing for this lot, but slowly and slowly Albert's head drooped until he sat as though asleep.
"Good, now I believe it was bark like a dog or cluck like a chicken is that right?"
He smiled at the audience.
"When I say bone I want you to walk to the side of the stage and stand there barking like a dog until I say bone again you understand? ........bone"
And blow me down Albert stood up and walked to the side of the stage where he immediately started to bark, not just a little but continually just like a dog.
Over the next half an hour he managed to get Bill to stand like a statue, Fred like a tree, Colin howl like a coyote and Steve to pretend to be a tea-pot, and to my amusement Doug to cluck like a chook. Finally he returned everyone to their normal state and clapped his hands. He certainly had everyone's attention now, no more catcalls.
"Right, now for the main part of the show and for this I will need a man and a woman."
Several of the loudest guys shouted and waved their hands, but he ignored them and continued to look around the room. After a minute he settled his gaze on Jenny and me and came over to our table.
