XXI: Don't Take Too Long
Marie, Liam and Blake
Marie
Marie bit her lip as Lexi finally came into view through the glass door of her building's lobby, which thankfully had a vestibule for Marie to wait in out of the cold.
You need to do this, even if you really don't want to.
Lexi wore tight grey leggings, a blue crop top, and a short, white "jacket" unzipped over it, making her look a bit more put-together while still giving Marie an unobstructed view of her incredible abs. She made Marie feel so plain in her peacoat and the shirt and leggings she wore underneath.
The taller girl was smiling as she opened the door, "Hey."
Marie stepped through to stand before Lexi, a grin splitting her face. She couldn't help it, "Hey. I'm glad I didn't have to wait till the weekend to see you."
Lexi's smile deepened, then she bit her lip. Marie's heart beat a bit faster at that.
Fuck. Remember what you need to do.
Lexi closed the distance between them, one hand threading through Marie's hair while the other came to rest on the small of her back. Marie shuddered as Lexi pulled her close.
Aw, fuck...
Her brain stopped working when Lexi's lips brushed hers. Marie's body reacted on instinct, deepening the kiss, pressing herself against Lexi as she let the other girl take the lead. Marie's arms wrapped around Lexi, pulling herself even closer to her.
When Lexi pulled back, it left both of them breathless and rosy-cheeked.
"I take it that was okay?" Lexi asked, grinning, still holding Marie close, their hips pressed together.
Marie nodded, still a little dazed from the kiss, "Very okay."
She blinked at the thickness of her voice when she spoke.
Lexi giggled, then smoothed a stray lock of hair out of Marie's face, tucking it behind her ear, "I missed you."
Fire raced through Marie's veins at those words. She couldn't help the blaze in her cheeks any more than she could help the dopey grin spreading across her face, "I missed you, too."
Lexi's grin widened, eyes sparkling, as she took Marie's hand and nodded toward the stairs, "Come on." A part of Marie felt giddy at Lexi's invitation. It was almost enough to suppress the other part--the guilty one.
No. You need to fucking do this,
now.
"Wait, Lexi," Marie said, trying to keep her voice from wavering, "I need to tell you something. I hope you'll still want to invite me up after, but I'll understand if you don't."
Lexi frowned, dropping Marie's hand as she narrowed her eyes. A hardness entered her expression--it was very slight, but enough to make Marie feel like shit.
When she said nothing, instead just staring at Marie expectantly, Marie felt even worse, knots forming in her stomach.
For a moment, her mind tried to think of a way out of this--some way to get Lexi to forget about what she'd just said and take her up to her room--but Marie gave herself a little shake and took in a deep breath.
I can do this.
"I've been seeing someone," she said, forcing herself to meet Lexi's gaze, "Well--not really 'seeing,' them--just sleeping with them occasionally."
"Like a fuck-buddy?" Lexi asked.
Marie nodded, "Yeah. Just sex. She and I made that pretty clear from the start."
Lexi relaxed a little bit, making Marie feel even worse, "Is that it? I don't judge, Marie."
Marie took another deep breath.
"The last time I saw her was Sunday night. When I got back."
Lexi's face became unreadable, and Marie continued when the taller girl said nothing.
"And the time before that was the night you told me about yourself and left me out there," she continued, nodding back toward the street.
A slight frown tugged at Lexi's expression, "Why are you telling me this?"
The knots in her belly tightened, "Because I don't really know what this thing between us is, but I'd like it to be more than sex. With my ex, I wasn't honest with him or myself about how things were between us, and it ended up hurting both him and me."
She paused, taking a deep breath.
"It's not an excuse," she continued, "but when I slept with my fuckbuddy the night you told me about yourself, I was still a little drunk and very horny and knew that if I didn't find some way to clear my head, I'd spend all night thinking and overanalyzing things and I didn't want to do that if I wouldn't be thinking clearly. Sunday...Sunday, I was a little desperate after break and I was worried that sex with you--the way you take control during sex--might have been inflating my feelings for you or creating feelings that weren't there in the first place."
Marie sighed, finally looking away, "And my brain's horny-logic thought that sleeping with someone else who knows what I like would be a good way to make sure that I liked you for reasons other than just that."
Marie decided she'd said enough and forced herself to meet Lexi's gaze again.
The taller girl's green eyes were hard, but contemplative, giving Marie a bit of hope.
Eventually, she sighed, running her fingers through her hair, "And you thought you needed to tell me this, even though I made it pretty clear I wanted you to come up to my room and spend the night with me?"
Marie nodded, "I want to be honest with you. I want this to be more than just sex, and I think you want that, too. I just don't want to start off feeling shitty because I'm keeping things from you."
Lexi met Marie's gaze again, then sighed smoothing out her hair, "I'm not upset about you seeing a fuckbuddy, Marie, even if you saw her Sunday. We never established that we were dating or any rules or anything like that, so I can't blame you for it."
Marie smiled a bit, the knots in her stomach loosening.
"What does make me a bit upset," Lexi continued, "Is that you feel so guilty about it."
Marie's smile disappeared.
"Like you said--you want things between us to be more than just sex," Lexi continued, "Yet you slept with someone else."
The knots tightened even further than before.
