Sandy and I had spent a full hedonistic weekend in sexual excess. That may not seem strange to many of you who live liberated lifestyles or just dream of glutinous promiscuity. I was raised in a strict religious culture and was married and remained loyal to my marriage vows for more than twenty five years. It's true that I was married to two different women, two very sexually different women indeed and need. That's the reason I had sex with two women in my life, so having sex, over and over for even a weekend with a woman I wasn't married to any longer was as dramatic a departure for me as possible.
Those of you who read the first part of this story, "The Road Ahead", realize I had been tenderized through an immense curiosity about sex that thrived in the banquet of pornography freely available on the internet. Mentally I had become motivated by lust and susceptible to extramarital sex with the first available hot blooded female who was likeminded or at least receptive. Sandy was much more than that, she had been my first wife, and was the real architect of our divorce many years previous because she had opened the door to sexual addiction in her own life, and left me behind then, early in our marriage. I was locked in a warm comfortable prison of provinciality of my own making.
Now I was much older, and regretted the fact that in my own personality makeup, I had never allowed room for me to be a self centered "bad boy" who could take sexual pleasure any way he wanted, and without concern for consequence; I didn't have a clue as to how I could change. Even now in my life, I was too obsessed with the need to understand how and why people fell under the spell of sexual need, to learn how to simply take what I wanted. I was too interested in what other people wanted to just assume control over them, even though that's what I wanted to do.
When I was a young man I learned to have faith in myself and those around me by not questioning the if's in life and history, I accepted the if's in life, and worked to understand the why's and how's. This was most notable in Old Testament Bible class. While friends around me questioned IF the miraculous events described in the Old Testament actually happened, I assumed they did, and then worked to understand how and why they happened. I felt like I came out miles ahead in understanding and attitude, and I believed that the same thing might work in a strange way now.
As I read the sexy stories I've referred to, I stopped making judgments about people's honesty or character, I assumed what they said was true and honest to themselves (even if it happened to be just fantasy) and then I tried to understand how they could say the things they said and feel the things they claimed they felt, and at the same time do the things they did. I started to read the public comments about stories whenever I could, and tried to interview or talk to authors or characters whenever possible to expand my understanding; I knew just where to begin.
THE INTERVIEWS
#1 - Sandy
It was natural that the first subject of my curiosity would be Sandy, my ex-wife and first extramarital sex partner, be my first target or subject. It was a good step I thought, because I had enough personal knowledge of her early sexual awakening to gauge how honest and open she was. Sandy was a little suspicious of me at first, I think there was still something in the back of her mind that made her apprehensive, maybe she was still afraid that the hurt and pain she thought she laid on me still simmered way down deep inside, and that revisiting details would open wounds in me that she hoped would stay closed and healed, and not come between us again.
Reluctantly she started to relate the old stories and watched closely for signs in my reaction. I was first curious about the stat of mind that led her to consider violating the vows we made to each other the first time.
"I didn't think I considered the possibility of my unfaithfulness at the beginning." She said. "I simply allowed myself to feel unsatisfied with the way things were going in our life...in my life really. I guess to be honest; I was starting to become selfish." She admitted. "The more I thought about my life, the more selfish I became and the more unsatisfied I was with our life."
I asked her what role sex itself played in her surrender to selfishness.
"In some ways, I think my views about love, romance and sex are different from most women. I reasoned, in my own mind." She said. "That real sexual pleasure and love or romance were somehow incompatible. To me, sex could only be at its best and fullest, if it had nothing to do with love, if it was only committed under the power of lust and self need. In that frame of mind, I believed I would never experience full sexual fulfillment unless it was in some illicit adulterous form. Even then, I was convinced that I would remain loyal and true to you, I was resigned to giving up sexual fulfillment forever as a reasonable sacrifice for a successful marriage. As I look back now, I think I felt like some kind of a martyr, and somehow pure and saintly because of it.
"If that's true then, how did you let yourself go with Darren?" I asked. When I mentioned his name with such recollection and familiarity it seemed to shock her and bring us closer to the intimacy in her seduction.
"I realize now, more than I would have admitted then, that I was really attracted to Darren in a purely sexual way." Sandy said. "I should have been much more afraid than I was, but in reality, I think I sensed what was happening, and wanted to be led into wickedness. I was terrified of complete sexual fulfillment and thought if I experienced it even once, I would be lost to the need of it forever, but way down deep inside, I really wanted to be lost."
"I had teased and flirted shamelessly with him for days and I knew I was playing with fire. When I stood close to him I wanted him to get fresh with me. When he put his hand on my leg I almost screamed yes, that I wanted him to touch me, any way he wanted."
"I was too excited to even be relieved when he moved his hand up my leg, and every part of my body ached to be touched by him. I know he could feel me tremble as he caressed my legs, my thighs, and my ass. When he slipped his fingers under the waist band of my panties and pantyhose, I wanted him to strip them down and bare my ass, but he didn't. When he concentrated on my bare back and tummy and then caressed my breasts through my bra, I wanted him to completely strip me and, god forgive me Ted, I would have let him fuck me there right then or in the open mall if he wanted, but he only made me take off my bra. That first time he only hinted at the things he was going to do to me. He got my bra off and took off my panty hoes, but in reality he had stripped me of all my resistance from then on. He knew he could do anything he wanted because he knew I wanted him to."
Sandy looked flushed and embarrassed, and at the same time she was obviously excited. . Before we proceeded, I said I wanted to see what effect this was having on her, and told her to take off her clothes. Sandy almost choked in surprise, but looked at me with sparkling eyes, alive with interest and awakening arousal, and she studied the crotch of my slacks to see if she could tell how I was reacting. I discretely hid my firm interest, and remained still until the pressure of silence was noticeable, then she stood, and calmly started to take of her clothes. When she was down to panties and bra she let me enjoy her in them and see the way they made her body look before she asked me if this was far enough. I said nothing, just waited until she unclasped her sheer bra and slipped it of and then slid the almost transparent sheer panties down and off her beautiful ass and legs.
She had not expected to be exposed naked like this with me, particularly in this more one sided context, and so she had not shaved her pussy like she sometimes did. She looked a little embarrassed because so many women shaved themselves bare these days, particularly if they thought they were going to be looked at naked. I told her I preferred her delicate bush, and thought she looked more natural and un made-up this way and it made it seem more intense and forbidden, like I was really looking at something I shouldn't. I told her I hoped she would never shave herself completely, just keep the lips of her pussy smooth and her bush trimmed back. She looked at me and blushed crimson as her nipples hardened and then she slowly opened her legs so I could see the shiny wetness of her arousal.
Sandy's breathing was already deep and throaty as I asked her how long it took for her to go all the way with Darren, and completely commit adultery. Sandy stiffened a little as my language made her defensive, and I felt certain there was a considerable amount of shame added to her arousal. I wanted deep conflicting emotions to wrestle in her mind and was pleased to see her shift nervously; she must have felt even more naked than before.
"Darren teased and tormented me that next day. I had worn my sexiest lingerie even though it would be considered conservative by most, and I flirted with Darren shamelessly in every way I could imagine. I didn't have a garter belt and stockings which he said he preferred, but I left my legs bare because it was his next favorite way; I knew you would have had questions if you had seen me and was glad you were already at work when I got dressed. When I finally saw Darren sitting at the sunken area of the floor, late in the afternoon, I almost ran to his side."
"He ignored me for a long time and then just before I gave up and walked away, his hand was back on my bare leg. My pussy was already soaked, it had been that way since the day before, and in my mind, I hoped desperately for something warm and hard and fat to fill it. He caressed everything like before, finally running the edge of his hand and index finger between my warm thighs, almost rubbing along my wet slit. The hand moved then to my waist testing how high my panties rode on my waist, and then it moved again to my bare tummy and smooth back. Soon it was up again caressing and fondling my tits and studying my bra by touch and once again; by then I was straining toward orgasm. His hand slid sensuously down to my ass and pulled the back of my panties all the way down below the slope of my full ass cheeks."
"With my whole ass nakedly exposed to his touch he slid his fingers into the cleft of my ass and gently toyed with my sensitive puckered hole before he slid his teasing finger forward, along and between the wet slippery lips of my pussy. God I was in agony and hunched down to suck his fingers up into me. He didn't push inside but continued forward until he probed against my aroused and erect clit. "Oh shhhhhiiiiiiiittttt." I growled out as my body convulsed in a shaking quivering orgasm and cum flooded from between my legs."
"My legs were so weak, I slumped forward onto my hands and knees, and then I felt Darren lift the back of my skirt and push it all the way up to the center of my back. There I was on my hands and knees like a bitch in heat, with my ass naked to his view and all I could do was reach back to pull my panties down and off so I could spread my knees and expose my hungry cunt to him. If the whole store space filled with people, all watching, I would still be in heaven."
