I'm not a big time investor, but I like to dabble in real estate, rental property. If I can purchase a house at a favorable price, the rent can cover the mortgage. I wait a few years, hope it appreciates, and sell for a profit. Happily, the realty market here in the suburbs of Washington, DC has consistently been strong. It's been a winning strategy.
I was researching a house that had been on the market for a long time. The asking price had been reduced more than once. The area was desirable, so I wondered why it hadn't sold. Walking around the property soon revealed the problem. The house next door was a mess. There were several beat up vehicles parked there, one on blocks. The lawn and shrubs were overgrown, and there was a large, aggressive barking dog chained in the front. I talked with a different neighbor and learned that the problem house was a rental. Every landlord's nightmare.
To me, that's an opportunity. Such issues would deter a sale, but not my ability to rent the property -- short term tenants aren't as fussy as buyers. And I was confident the Beverly Hillbilly family would move on long before I wanted to sell.
There was a sign for an Open House. The realtor was a pretty woman, in her 30's. She dressed conservatively, as would be expected for a professional woman. But a tailored suit couldn't (and shouldn't) conceal her beautiful figure. 5'8", blonde hair, shapely breasts and a firm, round behind outlined within well-fitting slacks. And an inviting smile on a pretty face. I know I was there on business, not on a date, but I felt an immediate attraction toward her. I smiled back.
I walked the house with the realtor (her name was Anna), got the usual sales pitch. I told her I knew the house had been on the market for a long time. And what a problem those terrible neighbors must be. She sighed and agreed. She expressed her weariness with the constant stream of visitors who declined to bid on the house -- or bid so low that no sale could be achieved. Exasperated, she said, "I've tried everything to sell this house but throw myself in with the deal."
I knew she was joking. But one should always pursue an opportunity that presents itself, whether in real estate or life. I thought to myself, this has possibilities.
"That's an attractive offer. Why don't we have dinner tonight and talk about it."
She turned her head sharply toward me. "What's an attractive offer?"
"You. I'm an investor. This house has possibilities. But there are a dozen like this on the market now. However none of them has you. I like your suggestion. I think we'd have a wonderful time together."
She looked at me with stern eyes. "Thank you but I'm not a prostitute. I'm not interested."
I replied "And I wouldn't be interested in you if you were a prostitute. I find you immensely attractive. You are beautiful and obviously smart. That's an amazing aphrodisiac. What I had in mind was a business deal. I'll pay the full asking price. You'll make a nice commission from this sale. All I ask in addition is that you let me entertain you for an evening."
She stared at me. Clearly she had never had a proposition like this before. She didn't know me from Adam; didn't know if my offer to buy the house was bona fide, or if I were a serial killer.
"This is my business card. Why don't you check me out. You'll learn that I own a fair number of rental houses in this area. I'm interested in this house. And you. Call me."
I left, leaving her staring after me. I felt a little creepy dangling this proposition, but I am a nice guy, decent looking, and I would treat her very well in an evening. Not to brag, but I've had no complaints from lady friends about their bedtime experiences with me. And I thought the house was a good buy. It had been reduced to a point where I'd buy it, with or without Anna. But I didn't tell her that.
She didn't call back right away. And the house remained unsold. About a month later, the phone rang.
"Hi. This is Anna, the realtor."
"Yes, I remember. Nice to hear from you."
"Look, this is very awkward, but I want to meet you for lunch. Just to talk."
"Wonderful. Let's do it tomorrow. I'll come by your office and get you."
"No", she said firmly, "Let's meet at Le Figaro, a French restaurant on Fairfax Boulevard."