We didn't speak a single word. I didn't because I thought I made myself perfectly clear. Zoey didn't because she was afraid, judging by her facial expression. The sharp silence could cut through steel.
After returning home, I heated some leftovers and got to eating. Zoey joined me a few minutes later. I didn't look at her but could sense her staring at me tentatively.
"I'm sorry, babe. I know I hurt you."
"I'm fine."
"But are we? Are
we
fine?"
I turned to her this time. I held both her cheeks and forced a smile. "We're fine. Never think otherwise, okay?" Then I kissed her forehead. "There were some bad judgments on both our parts. But we'll pull through it."
"You have to trust me. I didn't try to make you mad. I genuinely thought you were okay with this."
"To be honest, I was. To some extent. But I should have communicated with you better."
She gave me a faint smile and buried her head in my chest. "What now?"
"I was serious when I said that you should quit this job. I am confident about getting that job. So we should be fine financially. For now."
She didn't reply. I knew she wasn't thrilled about quitting it. But what could I do? I took her silence as agreement.
The next couple of days were weird. Well, we were fine. We were as lovey-dovey as always. Had sex every night. But I felt like we lost a certain spark. This job birthed a new Zoey. So much more playful, spicy, adventurous and more importantly - horny. Now, she was back to the old Zoey. And I missed that. God, I missed that! But she was not to blame. My weakness let her venture more than I could chew.
The next day, we were lounging on the couch watching a 90s sitcom. Zoey was not paying attention. Something was bothering her.
"Spit it out, babe," I poked her.
"What?"
"There's something on your mind."
She squirmed a bit at this. "Well, you know I already texted Jaden that I quit and he understood. But he wanted to throw a farewell party for me."
"Huh! An orgy I bet. Definitely no."
"That's what I said to him. But he was a bit pushy."
"Don't tell me you agreed to go," I raised my eyebrows at her.
"No! I just said that I would think about it and talk with you."
"And you did talk with me. I am not letting you go there again."
"Okay," she muttered. She looked visibly sad making me feel guilty for being a controlling boyfriend.
"I know you loved the job and it would be fair to join the farewell to bid them a proper goodbye. But we both know things wouldn't stop at that. I'm sorry to force things on you like this."
"I didn't
love
the job. It was okay. But I was earning so much. With you being unemployed this was really good for us."
"Don't worry about the money, cupcake. I'm more than sure I'm getting that IT job. The boss was really impressed with me. And we should be set then."
"Okay. But if you don't get it, we would be in actual trouble."
I put a hand on her shoulder. "I know."
"So, in case you don't get it, should we reconsider my...."
"Sure."
-------------------------------------
"What happened? You look bummed."
It was the next morning. I sat at the kitchen counter, holding my coffee cup. I had barely sipped anything; the coffee had probably gone cold by now.
"Uhh! I got the rejection mail."
"Shit!" Zoey hugged me from the side. I was a bit afraid that she might look happy because now she could push me more for her job. But she looked visibly upset for me.
"I thought the guy would do you a solid. You had the same high school. What happened?" Zoey asked.
"He was not to blame. He called me too, saying he had to honor the recommendations of some high-profile clients. He sounded sorry."
"That's a shitty thing to do."
I chuckled. "That's how the corporate world runs, cupcake."
She sighed and said, "I'll make breakfast." She got off me and walked to get something from the cabinet.
Then Zoey turned around as if she suddenly remembered something to say. "So, for now, you should be okay if I do the porn job?"
There you go. "No, I didn't say you could do it, but that I would think about it."
"But do you have a plan? Our savings are already dwindling."
"Don't worry. I'll figure something out."
Zoey took a seat beside me and took my hands in hers. "We have already figured something out. If you could just put your jealousy aside..."
Now that hit a nerve. "Jealousy? Really? Not liking your girlfriend hanging out with her male coworkers is jealousy. Not liking her having sex with them is not," I laughed in disbelief.
"Those were not
sex
. And you jerked off to the videos. Didn't have any problem then," she fought back. The s-word really hit her nerves apparently.
Okay, this was not going the way I would have liked. "But things have escalated too much. And for your record, I have not laid eyes on last day's videos, even for once."
"How could you? There aren't any. I asked Jaden not to upload them, to protect your feelings. But now, I'll tell him to upload those. Let's see if you can keep yourself from watching them."