Just what the hell was I doing...My self confidence had taken a huge battering since starting the university course, and this seemed to be yet another step in decent to purgatory...hell a giant leap to purgatory!
"No different to a street whore!" I told myself. "A two-bit hooker!!" I yelled at me in my thoughts.
Now, I have had relationships; and some great screwing included, but not recently. Men around here seem put-off by clever women. And I was so taken up with my Uni' course I didn't care anyway for the distractions involved. My grant cheque and student loan just don't cover all the necessities of life and leave you short ALL the time...I need money just to live, not extravagancies...just ordinary life.
Oh but what else can I do...and this is good money and most importantly won't interfere with my studies.
All this started about two-weeks ago when I contacted an old friend of mine who runs a photo agency to see if I could do some photos for her...I was thinking of sales catalogues and similar, she wasn't sure, so passed my portfolio and details to another contact agent called Kev. He said he might be able to assist...but how did I feel about doing underwear shots...I told him I didn't care, even the skimpy bra and sheer panties type didn't bother me at all...so he asked "well what about nudes?" that took me aback a little, but I didn't feel so terribly frightened by the prospect as I now do...He gave me a pre-printed list for his studio outlining model-payments and the money was staggering and seduced me into agreeing at once...I could earn the best part of £2000...in a weekend!!! All my Uni'-created money worries could be over inside a month...wow!
But now I was having second thoughts...was my body good enough (at 28 years I pass for 23; 5'10'' slim and toned from all the running around Uni' to get to classes.) I could almost feel the humiliation of Kev telling me I was too fat, old, or ugly and sending me home unpaid...and it would be nude shots, what if I was recognized...and IS my body good enough...the worry-circle would start again for this two-bit tart.
The letter with the final instructions arrived on Wednesday, and included a return train tickets to Birmingham, New Street Station; Right in the centre of the 'England's Second City'. The instructions told me to arrive for 20.00 hours (that's 8 pm in real time) and meet with Kev at the Motor Lodge hotel in Broad Street (full directions and map provided!), where a room's had been booked. Following a final check that night the first photo-shoot would be set for early the following morning. I was to bring with me the following clothes :- a T-shirt and shorts or short skirt, and a wrap around coat with a tie belt and suitable shoes. I was to present myself having had a FULL BRAZILIAN shave. Underclothes were not mentioned; styles not specified; Make-up not detailed... at least I had SOME choices left!!!!
Thursday, I commenced the preparations with a full shave...do you know how difficult this is for a SINGLE person...getting into ALL the crevices around your ass and pussy?? All Alone??
Clothes were another problem, I am not gonna ruin good clothes, I'll see what the local second hand stores have...I was lucky and got a nice charcoal grey/black Macintosh (a real 'flashers Mac') and a pair of simple black court shoes (they'll come off easy when I want) and for the T-shirt a simple plain-blue no-sleeves (and a pink one, the same style) matched with a mid thigh denim skirt. Underwear somehow doesn't seem appropriate (Go COMMANDO Girl, I told myself... But it didn't still my fast beating heart!)
I dressed ready for the shoot, I didn't think I needed a suitcase full of gear, and decided to carry some simple make-up, deodorant, hair-brush and spray in a towel in my rucksack along with the spare T-shirt and tooth-brush.