The Layover 21

AUTHOR'S NOTE: This story contains multiple scenes containing excessively misogynist language that I have included purely for satirical purposes. The actions, opinions, and behavior of the characters in this story do not reflect my personal beliefs and opinions.

- - -

"Berdie!" There was a whisper in my ear. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah." I lied. "The turbulence just woke me up is all."

Jasper was leaning over me, a concerned expression in her brown eyes that were currently looking at the throbbing bump on my forehead. A pensive finger fondled her lower lip as though she were trying to coerce another sentence out of her mouth, but my forced smile seemed to do the trick in assuaging her concerns over my well-being.

She leaned back, a head of plump brown hair bouncing against the neckrest as she tried to close her eyes again. But the movement from the rest of the cabin stirred her back awake as it appeared that she was internally making the decision to call it a morning.

"Sleep well, you two?" A voice from the other end of the aisle spoke.

It came from Monique - a tall woman with short black hair cropped at the neck despite the fact that the last time I saw her she had a long dirty-brown hairdo. Freshman year at college can have a hell of an effect on a young woman's appearance. Though her personality remained unaffected - the periodic quips and jeers at my expense were still as present as ever. Jeers that Jas would always laugh at, forcing me to laugh along to save face.

"Morning, Monique." I mumbled.

"Hey, Moni." Jas turned her head.

"Not really morning for me." She set down a book. "I don't sleep on planes.

"Besides, someone had to keep an eye on Nerdy Berdy over there. Make sure he was keeping his hands to himself."

Jas looked back at me and giggled, her eyes drifting downward to my lap. Too late, I realized that my hand was resting not-so-subtly on my morning wood - very visible through the thin blanket provided in-flight.

"Oh, damn it!" I muttered as the two women giggled on.

I was used to embarrassing myself in front of Jas - in fact I had been doing so for nearly twenty years. My earliest childhood memories are of playdates our parents set up together, starting a friendship that would remain through our adolescence as we planned grade school schedules to always take the same classes and extra-curriculars. Hell, I was even a band geek in high school for her.

"What's so funny?" A messy mop of blonde hair stuck out from behind Monique's figure as her seat slowly returned to its upright position. "Did we -yawn- land?"

"Quite the opposite, Rin." Monique turned away. "Bertand's runway is ready for take-off."

Catherine blinked a few times, her sleepy expression showing no sign of understanding the joke, to my relief. Nor did she seem to understand why I was crossing my legs in such a hurry. A slim belly stuck out from beneath her shirt as she stretched both arms as much as the low ceiling of the compartment would allow her to. She let out a girlish moan as the life flowed back into her body.

"Oh, I can't wait to land!" Rin spoke. "I wanna get to the airport soon."

"So you can see all the weird people bustling about in a sterile environment?" Monique quipped. "I think you can get the same thing in a petri dish for less money."

"No, for the shopping!" Rin clasped her hands together. "Airport stores always have the best stuff; It's so the country leaves a good first impression on new visitors."

"I've always been fascinated by the airport lifestyle." Jas added. "Where else can you find people getting drunk at eight in the morning while wearing a tuxedo jacket and sweatpants?"

"I see you've never met any of my professors." Monique smiled.

"We're not going on this trip to visit the airport." I sighed. "I had to do a lot of favors to convince my uncle to let us borrow his rent house in the middle of summer."

"Ah yes, let's all thank Mr. Nerdy Berdy and his family's Sunny Money." Monique did a slow, sarcastic golf clap.

"Don't act like I'm rich." I scoffed. "I've been eating instant noodles and granola bars for the last nine months. This vacation is the only fun I've allowed myself since I started college and I assumed you'd be a bit more grateful for the invite."

"I'm grateful!" Rin pouted. "I really am. I thought I'd be spending all summer with my parents, pretending to be interested in my dad's sports podcasting."

"Loathe as I am to say so, I'm glad to be here, too." Monique admitted. "Else I'd be sitting at home listening to my unemployed older brother teach himself to play guitar."

"What exactly did you have to do to convince your uncle to let us stay on a beachfront house in the middle of summer anyway?" Jasper looked up at me.

"I'd rather not talk about it." I grumbled. "Let's just say I have a lot of experience shredding paper and lying about how busy he is."

"Add in a bit of experience in censoring records and you've got yourself a promising career in politics coming your way!" Monique crossed her arms.

The girls' laughter was cut short by the sound of a pleasant tone, resonating from the roof of the plane. After a bit of static, the captain's voice came on with a sigh.

"Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking."

"Oh, I thought it was God." Monique smiled as Catherine shushed her.

"Everything is under control right now and there's no danger to the plane or crew, but we've got a bit of a situation with one of our fuel tanks and are going to have to attempt an emergency landing soon."

There was a bit of murmuring from the passengers that the flight attendants quickly made attempts to calm down. They all wore professional faces over their perfect uniforms - and despite each woman having a slightly different shape or skin tone to her, you got the impression that they were all related somehow; Like replaceable parts in an elaborate machine.

The captain must have anticipated the complaints as he left a few seconds for the attendants to stop the noise.

"We've already cleared landing with a nearby airport and our travel agents have been informed of the change in plans. There is another flight out of the country leaving soon you will be redirected to. We will be offering reimbursement as well as hotel accommodations for one night for anybody who chooses not to take the next flight available."

"Great." I sighed. "Guess we'll be a bit late to the rent house."

"Aww..." Rin slumped in her chair, her hair getting even messier against the back of her seat. "I hope this new airport has good shopping."

A flight attendant approached our aisle and made a gentle shushing gesture at Catherine, though behind her smile I could sense a small amount of annoyance.

"Oh, and one more thing..." The captain's voice came on one last time. "Flight attendants, please make the necessary arrangements for a landing in Regannis and inform the passengers of the, er, proper etiquette.

"I repeat. We will be landing in Regannis. Port F."

And in an instant, the veneer of professionalism in the flight attendants showed a small crack. The woman closest to us suddenly drooped her shoulders back as the sound of 'Oh, come on!' could be heard from a few rows behind us.

A few more tones played over the plane's speakers as the flight attendants marched their way up to the front of the plane. There was a tangible shift in mood this time around - the calm dignity of the women was now a variable mess of cold annoyance or timid fear. Even Monique didn't have some witty observation to make.

The plane shifted around a few times as the tiny sparkles of light beneath us started to grow larger. I watched the ground approach from my window as the mood of the room went back to normal, though everybody could still suspect something was off.

As soon as the pilot said 'Regannis' every flight attendant seemed to freeze slightly. I had heard the name of the country before, some time years ago in passing; A news story about some unrest as well as a few fundraising pages for refugees fleeing the political upheaval. I wished I knew slightly more about foreign politics so I could be 'in' on whatever fear had been spreading around - though from the lack of reaction from the rest of my row, it appears that I wasn't the only one ignorant of the news.

The flight crew came by one last time to pick up trash. They were wearing much more professional expressions than the last time I saw them, though the polite smiles were now gone. I scarfed down a few half-melted ice cubes from my plastic cup and handed over an empty napkin. When the attendant took it, I saw her look carefully at me, then back at the three women I was traveling with, then back to me. She scoffed.

A few more minutes passed as I tried to rest my eyes in the momentary silence that followed the previous announcement. I didn't manage any sleep at all, not that I expected to, before the crew once again filled the aisles of the plane.

The woman who had scoffed at me stopped in front of our aisle. Draped over a uniformed arm were several thick plastic bags with a small vacuum sealing device attached to one end. She started handing them out, first giving one to Catherine, then Monique, and finally gave a third bag to Jasper.

I didn't get one.

"Attention passengers." The captains voice broke through my confusion. I hadn't heard the tone play beforehand.

"Our flight attendants are currently handing out materials that will be necessary for our landing. We will also be playing a special video informing all of you of the customs of the Reganni people and their government. Please pay attention as you may not be able to leave the plane and may even be arrested upon entering the airport if you are violating these local laws. Thank you."

Jasper was investigating her bag with a confused expression on her face while Monique had her arms crossed, the plastic tucked underneath an armpit. Catherine had hers balled up already, pressed into her lap. My empty hands flexed a bit before I crossed them over my thighs, awaiting the screens near the front of the plane to tell me what was going on.

"Hello, and thank you for flying with our airline." A woman's voice was playing over a shot of the airline's logo. "We appreciate every mile that we travel together. Please stay seated and pay close attention to the following instructional video on Reganni cultural attire."

I nearly choked when the video's scene transitioned. Seated against a sterile background was an older woman, presumably completely naked - though the camera only showed her from the chest up. Her breasts sagged down just off camera, but it was still clear that she was without any clothing whatsoever. She was holding up a plastic bag, just like the ones the women on the plane had just been handed.

"If you are watching this video, then many of the people on board the plane have just been handed a bag similar to the one I am currently holding." She began, the pre-recorded video not caring about the muttering on board the plane. "Always make sure you know where your bag is, as replacements cannot be issued after this time and you will expected to return the bag to the airline upon leaving the country."

I was beginning to wonder if me not receiving a bag was an issue, so I turned my attention to the flight attendant nearby. But my words caught in my throat and I entirely forgot the question I meant to ask when I saw that she had completely undone the front of her blouse, fidgeting with the bottom few buttons as she untucked the garment.

"Because of a recently passed law by the Reganni government, all women inside the country are forbidden from controlling possessions for the duration of their stay. This means that wallets, cell phones, personal affects, and clothing must be sealed inside of your luggage, or the provided bag before leaving the plane and are not to be retrieved until after leaving the country's airspace."

"Wait, we can't carry our wallets or phones?" I heard Catherine ask over the rising choir of confused voices from around us.

"This is some sort of prank, right?" Monique chuckled, though the unsure smile on her face was betrayed by her worried eyebrows.

My gaze was held on the flight attendant, her shirt now folded over and arm as the other hand reached for her skirt, tugging a bit at the zipper to get it started before gliding it down past her knees. The skirt opened on the side opposite me, but I could still see the fabric loosen around her hips.

"After undressing, please place all of the belongings you will not need immediate access to inside of the provided bag on the opening marked with a blue cap. Once these objects are secure, pull the tab on the side and the bag will automatically deflate, reducing the size to allow it to fit inside of your suitcase."

I ignored the instructions on the screen as my eyes were busy staring at our flight attendant. I had never gotten a decent look at her from the window seat (outside of a brief moment where I was caught looking down her shirt as she handed me my drink) but now, the view was much better. Her thighs were wrapped in sheer tights which tugged at her waist and left red marks on her skin as she slowly slid them down off her legs and behind Jas' head of hair.

Right. Jas.

She wasn't watching the video at all, instead keeping her head tilted forward, clutching onto the plastic in her hands as though she were a child holding a favorite toy. As pleasant as the view of the undressing flight attendants was, this stripping would likely soon be done by her and my other friends. Suddenly I felt a lump forming in my throat, though whether it was fear or excitement was impossible to tell.

"Please ensure that your flight tickets and personal identification are not inside the bag before you seal it, and that they are with a trusted non-female individual. If you are traveling alone, or with no male companions, please alert the flight crew and an escort will be arranged to assist you."

The woman standing in the aisle was no longer a flight attendant, just a timid-looking girl in her underwear. She slowly grabbed a strap of her bra and slid it down, as if she were taking her time in case there were other women unsure of how to remove their own clothing. She looked up and met my eyes, then let out another scowl.

I wanted to signal to her that this wasn't my fault, though the staring could not have helped my cause at all. Perhaps she just wanted a person to blame for all of this.

"Once all of your personal items are inside of the provided bag, simply twist the blue cap shut and use the small pump on the side to vacuum-seal your clothing inside. This cap cannot be removed without decompressing the bag, so please double-check that your pockets are empty before you do so. Once compressed, you may place this bag inside of your carry-on luggage or hand it to the same person to whom you gave your identification."

She finally removed her panties, keeping her eyes on the floor as she did so. Despite her expression remaining neutral, I could see redness surfacing in her cheeks and the fact that her hands were shaking as she stepped backwards out of the garment. Other attendants were more graceful about it, though I could only make out the tops of their heads and didn't want to strain my neck too hard staring, else I may get annoyed looks from my traveling companions.

"Thank you once again for traveling with our airline. We appreciate every mile that we travel together!"

Some of the other flight attendants were already heading to the back of the plane while our was still sealing the bag, her shaky hands making the process difficult. One of her coworkers came up behind her, plastic bag at her side, and gently took the clothing from her hand, pumping the bag with a few quick motions before handing it back. There was a bit of queue behind the slow attendant, though they seemed to be understanding of her hesitation. Perhaps she was new to all of this, as she seemed the most mortified by the idea of standing there naked in the aisle of a plane.

She started walking, the others finally getting the chance to move as well. I felt a pang of sympathy for her, having to walk from the back of the plane by us all the way to the front where the other attendants were waiting in the nude. Then I remembered that Jasper, Catherine, and Monique would have to make that same walk in just a few minutes. The plane wasn't a large one, but that still must feel like a long walk.

But I didn't get to see all of the women walk by as Jas glanced over at me, catching me in the act of staring. I quickly turned my head to the side and tried to act as though I were interested in something on the opposite wall, though the damage was already done.

"Oh my god, we don't really have to get - to undress, do we?" Rin leaned forward.

"'Course not." Monique crossed one leg over the other. "There's probably some international treaty or something to stop us from being treated this way."

"Right, of course." I nodded, breathing a sigh. "But, y'know, they did just strip. And they handed out the bags to everybody."

"Not everybody." Monique raised an eyebrow. "You're probably excited by all of this, aren't you."

"Me?" I faked a chuckle to buy time. "No. I mean, not that you girls aren't, well, I mean I'd like to... uh. But I mean, that's a totally... Uhm."

"I knew it." Jasper raised her voice, much to my relief as I no longer had to dig myself deeper into the hole I'd made. "I knew this would happen."

"You did?" I asked.

"I checked our flight out as soon as you e-mailed the tickets. I checked its route - what we'd be flying over - when we'd leave - the nearby airports. Then I saw that country on the map.

"As soon as I did, I remembered a blog post I read about a traveling reporter. She wanted to cover the political situation in Regannis and had to spend the entire time she was there naked. I mean, the male reporters with her did all of the interviews and she stayed in the hotel room. But she still wrote about the trip out of the country and all the stares.

"You see, women in Regannis have almost no rights at all. They can't own things, they can't vote, and they're not even allowed to wear clothes. It's supposed to keep them domestic, since people are less likely to run away if they're naked and if she can't have possessions she won't be able to pay for transportation."

Jas was trembling, the bag in her hands crumpled into a ball like a stress toy.

"Hey, it's alright." I placed my hand over hers. "I'm sure there's something we can do. It's like Moni said, there's got to be exceptions to the rules."

"There are like, religions that make women keep their whole bodies covered, right?" Rin asked. "Maybe we can just say we're from one of those religions?"

"They did say 'non-female' in the video." Monique said. "I mean, that's a pretty specific remark. There's no way they can prove we're women without a strip search, and there's no way they give those to everybody."

"Easy for you to say, Moni." Catherine gestured towards her chest. "You can put on a baggy shirt and a hat to blend in. I don't think I'm sneaking these by anybody."

"Then I'll just say I'm non-binary!" She raised a finger. "According to those campus preachers I'm already not a 'real woman' for having a belly button piercing, so there ya go!"

"I doubt that'd work." I groaned. "This is a country that doesn't even let women open bank accounts. You really think they're that progressive?"

The captain's tone played overhead again, cutting the conversation short. After a few seconds of static-y feedback, he began to speak.

"We will be entering Reganni airspace in a few minutes. Attendants will be coming my shortly to ensure all local laws are being followed, as well as checking that electronic devices are shut off. Thank you."