Some older guys are buddies of mine. Winters in Sag Harbor only the fire department bake sale and amateur poetry readings at Ashawagh Hall are exciting. I show up at Rowdy Hall in a tight red dress and start the intravenous Chardonnay drip and make friends. Too bad Rowdy Hall doesn't stock white Burgundies at $250.00 a bottle; I know my buddies would compete to pop for it.
I offer nice svelte curves, smooth white boob skin, great smile, long shapely legs, and a stylish manicure. I give a mystical mix of clean-hair scent and perfume. I do not give pussy or head, but great ear.
In case you're still reading, there is another well-lighted exit just ahead. Without unwarranted elaboration, apart from the usual acerbic observations on the condition humaine, I am going to recount a story my friend, Wally, told me over $78.00 worth of decent chardonnay.
I am warning you the story is true because most of us are here escaping into sex fantasies. Don't take that the wrong way if you have a sex life as exciting as any Literotica story. I mean, you could be lying on the bed on your tummy, reading this story on your computer, while hubby sits on your cushy butt conducting a nice long proctological exam while he looks over your head at the Giant's game on TV.
Wally is about 55, handsome, virile, adequately funded for the bar at Rowdy Hall, literary minded, and a graduate of an excellent local cardiac rehab. program. His wife has America's most desirable 54-year-old body, thanks to $205,000 worth of yoga classes and Caribbean yoga retreats over 40 years. Unfortunately, she seems to have had her clitoris shot off in the war. No libido. Wally's access to her is limited to 15 minutes every other Sunday morning before she erupts out of bed with a cry of energetic joy to head off to yoga. Wally cowers for a few more hours under the covers.
Well, left to surf the internet without adult supervision, Wally began checking out erotic massages in Manhattan. He had to go into the city to see his cardiologist. He said, "Ellen, no one wants to have sex with me."
I have turned my stool to face his. I give my priceless Paris gamin smile, take a breath to inflate my boobs a little. Poor Wally. Such a generous guy with high-priced wine.
"No young woman has any interest in sex with me. No older woman who still wants sex wants it with me; she wants someone 20 years younger. Who wants me? Unmarried women still sexy and attractive are hunting a husband? "Seeking husband, will submit as necessary to occasional humiliation? Attach bank statement, photo of home, and draft of proposed new will for free evaluation of your chances of fellatio?"
He repeats: "No one actually wants to have sex with me." Sensitive moment, here. I reach out and give his brown-spotted hand a squeeze; he gazes into my eyes, but not yearningly. This is a disciplined guy. He knows the score. I adore him. He signals the waiter to refill my glass. I mean, why couldn't I give him maybe hand job? Because then all my buddies would have to have one. I'd be sitting somewhere obviously not a bar with a dick in one hand and a chardonnay in other. I like bars. Still, could be worse...
"You know what? It's so obvious. What do I want? Pussy."
I demurely lower my gaze. Goodness, Wally, such language...
"Sorry," he says. I flick my eyelashes. "And what do they want? MONEY. SO obvious. I have mountains of money," he whispers fiercely, slapping his thigh in frustration.
Wow, I feel a little tingle of arousal down there, after all.
"So fuck it. Fuck it."
I look up, frowning. Talking this way to me is a form of foreplay and you know where that leads.
"I know, Ellen, I'm sorry. I'm very sorry."
This could become monotonous.
"So, I go on the interest to find a spa. It's called the New Aloha Spa. I can walk there from my cardiologist's office. All the girls in the pictures look Asian. About mid-twenties. Maybe 95 pounds. Far as I can tell, though..."
He pauses.
"Kind of svelte, but okay tits?"
Wally nods, glancing down at mine.
Wait! What? What are you implying? That my tits are just "okay"?
I modestly smile.
"I mean, I looked at a lot of sites. Do you know this is a $2.0 billion-a-year industry in New York City? None of them can actually advertise sex, of course. Swedish massage, hot-stone massage, Her Majesty's Royal Navy flogging massage, our special Asian Fusion Groping? And then, they will say, maybe, 'mutual touching,' or "happiest of happy endings.' "
I nod, "Rub and tug."
"Is that what they call it?" He nods to himself. Mutters "So crude, but this was really nice.
"I got an appointment for 5:30, so I could finish with my cardiologist on 58th Street and Lexington and maybe walk down."
Wally, what is happening with your cardiologist? This is what he and I have been discussing on our last three dates at Rowdy Hall. I really want to know. Did he adjust your Warfarin? How is your atrial flutter?
"Kind of a dump, from the outside. Second floor. One little side door. 'New Aloha Spa,' with paintings of a few sickly looking palm trees. No windows.
"You know, buzz, give your name in the intercom. The stairs were about as romantic as my cellar stairs."
"But greeted at the door by aloha girls, I hopeβand then, paradise?"
"No, no. I panicked, a little. Two women in black dresses. Prison matrons, sort of. Not sure what age. They could have learned the trade with G.I.'s during the Korean war...
"Right away, they're saying, 'Please, please, come this way.' But I'm taking a good look around. Where is the muscle? I'm even thinking maybe this is 'cosh and rob,' not 'rub and tug.' And no one knows I'm here. No one. I've got Mace and... well, a flick knife. But Ellen, I'm not delusional. I'm not James Bond..."
Wally, could get to the sex part, if there was one? We have two loyal readers still following the story. At this point, they are so desperate, they would enjoy hearing about your Viagra.
"The room is nice. I'm in there, looking at a clean bed, romantic lighting, a little sink, a few clothes hooks. Music. But this matron is still there, smiling. 'Take clothes off, now? Eighty-five dollar. Forty-five minute massage. One hour, one hundred dollars.'
"Ellen, what if I give her a hundred bucks and she starts stripping? What can I do? I can't walk out. Can't do that to any woman. I'll have to do whatever you do... " He pauses, shaking his head, taking a quick gulp of chardonnay. Isn't Wally a great guy?
"I fish out a C-note. No way I'm using a credit card. She takes it, bows, starts out the door. I still have hope. I asked: the girl?"
"Coming, coming."
Okay, Wally is taking off his clothes. Hanging them up carefully. Seems safe enough for his wallet; he can see his pants from the bed. Will he be near delirious with pleasure, a hand slips in around the door...? Got to stop this. They don't have to steal his wallet. That isn't their racket. They're specialists, not generalists.
"Hi-lo!"