Shimmering Samson sighed, scratching his head. "Well, we failed. This 'Kinky Crusader' has made fools out of us! They aren't even the most powerful villain we've faced! How is this possible!?"
Milton looked at his tablet and tapped on it, swiping through the profiles of heroes working for the Association. "Well... uh, sir... I have a theory. Since you hire people based on their powers, purity, and commitment to justice, none of our heroes are very sexually experienced, and are thus extremely vulnerable to even the slightest bit of sexual stimulation-"
Samson clapped his hands. "Aha! I got it! It must be because the heroes we've been sending so far are NOT PURE ENOUGH! Milton! Send in... that woman."
Milton sighed. "Right away, sir..."
Meanwhile, the Kinky Crusader was sitting in his lair, in his male form, watching Sol and Luna make out through a camera in the basement.
Cait smiled, rubbing his cock as he watched them grope and fondle each other. "Mm, that's right... As long as you're here, you're free to make love with each other as much as you want, away from all the burdens of heroism..."
Sol cried out in pleasure. "Luna... Luna..." She was barely able to even retain enough faculty of mind to form her lover's name as Luna sucked at her perky left nipple. Sol brushed Luna's aching clit longingly. "Please... ah... ah... let's cum together..."
Cait sighed as he watched them climax. "Well, that was faster than usual." He turned off his monitor and pulled up his black nanotech briefs.
Cait yawned. "Mm, I guess I'll just take a break from villainy for a bit... time for a nap..."
Just as Cait began to doze off, he felt a stinging blow land on his face.
Cait leapt to his feet, looking around. "Wha- did something hit me?"
Cait fell backwards as an unseen force hit him in the solar plexus. He fell onto the floor, and felt a kick to the side.
Cait groaned in pain. "Invisibility. That's just great."
A timid, feminine voice called out. "Sorry... You leave me no choice but to do this."
Cait immediately rolled over to the side, just before he heard a "thunk" next to his head.
Cait spring to his feet and swung at the air repeatedly, missing over and over.
The voice called out again. "I'm the Invisible Hand... prepare to, uh, meet your doom!"
Cait smiled. "Oh, come on. You may have surprised me, but you're obviously a pretty timid hero."
The Hand paused. "I mean, I... I joined the League cause they're the only ones who really accept my power..."
Cait yelped as an invisible fist flew by him. "Geez! Can't you do anything more fun with that power? Like, I dunno, peek in on cute boys in the shower?"
The Hand gasped. "Wha- no! That's wrong! Why would I want to look at naked guys, anyway!?"
Cait stopped in his tracks. "You've got to be kidding me. ANOTHER lesbian!?" Cait was so shocked he forgot to dodge, getting hit in the stomach with what was presumably a knee.
The Hand panted heavily. "Wha- what's a lesbian?"
Cait rolled his eyes. "Oh, dear God- well, brute force isn't working, may as well try and seduce you."
Cait's form shimmered and shifted, taking her female form. She smiled, removing the nanotech underwear from her body and shaping it into a ball. "What do you think of my body now?"
The Hand stammered in shock. "Uhm, I, you look, oh goodness... I feel a bit weird..."
Cait tossed the ball of nanobots at the voice, and it hit The Hand in the head, quickly spreading down towards her body and forming a bikini.
Cait chuckled. "Well, now I can't help but laugh. I'm fighting a disembodied swimsuit!"
The Hand spoke. "Yeah, I look a bit weird like this... that's why I don't really wear clothes."
Cait raised an eyebrow. "Oh? So you're naked all the time, then?"
The Hand grew a bit flustered. "Uh, that's... that's because... look, it's nothing perverted, okay!? Shut up!"
The Hand charged at Cait, who snapped her fingers. The swimsuit immediately began to vibrate.
The Hand gasped. "A-ah!" The disembodied swimsuit suddenly dropped a bit, as if The Hand had fallen to her knees.
Cait chuckled. "Now, then. What's your REAL name? I like using people's real names. It's so much more... intimate."
The Hand spoke up. "Why on earth would I tell you thaAAAAAAhnmmmm...!"
Cait grinned wickedly. "Oh, you won't answer? That's fine, I'll just turn up the vibrator."
The Hand whimpered, and the swimsuit seemed to squirm in midair. "Ah, uhm, my name is... it's.. M-Mary, ah, please turn it ooooooff..."
Cait picked something out of her desk and walked over to Mary. "And what brings you here, Mary?"