I was going to be the queen. The one who stood by the king, helped him make his decisions. The one he came to when he wanted advice or wanted to share his problems with. The one to bear his children. It didn't matter that this whole thing was arranged by our parents to strengthen our kingdoms, or the fact that I loved him for 14 years now. It didn't matter that we would be getting married. Nothing mattered if he didn't value me in front of our kingdoms and our people. And no matter how much he appreciated or pretended to love me in front of the court because that's not where rumors began.
Rumors began from within the castle. From the handmaids, the guards, the horsemen who watched his private interactions away from public eye within his circle. Such a rumor that had been the reason for our fight earlier. A rumor that the mighty 35 year-old king had been forcefully betrothed to the shy 29 year old princess who had been obsessed with him since she hit her puberty and followed him around like some sick puppy.
And what sparked that rumor?
The shy glances that younger girls gave him as he passed by. The discreet long gazes that measured them back lingering on certain parts longer than the rest, each time his gaze filling with something deeper.
But this is a castle. Where hundreds of people come and go. Where hundreds reside and work. Here, not just people but walls have eyes and ears too. I had confronted him about it but he denied. Not bothering to explain much nor did he offer any words to reduce my bitter emotions. "You are going to be my wife, thats enough for you to understand." He said, grazing the back of his hand down my collarbone, the movement a whisper crossing my pointed nipple.
It had been hours since I last saw him. Since I heard from him. I pondered on what he said. And he was right. I was going to be his wife. His partner. And so I realized how much my words probably hurt him. I wanted to go and tell him I believed him. That no matter any rumor came up, I would stand by his side because I was his wife. That's it.
I made up my mind and promptly led my self out of my room walking down the silent hallways towards his chambers. What initially caught my attention was how empty and quiet his side of the wing was. Which was not common. I wondered where all the guards usually positioned near his chambers were. Putting aside the thought for later, I walked closer towards his chamber, when I heard muffled noises coming through it.
"oh- ohh godd!" A muffled voice became clear as I approached the door and pushed it slightly open. What I saw broke my heart into pieces. A young girl was sprawled across the bed I was meant to sleep in with my husband. With her gown still intact, her legs spread wide open, with my fiancé's head buried between her legs, under her gown. Tears clouded my vision.