I swear I've tried everything.
I've tried to talk to her.
I've spent thousands of dollars on counseling that didn't work.
I've worked less hours to prioritize time with the kids to give her a much needed break from them on a regular basis.
I've learned new techniques to spice up our sex life.
I've even hired a coach that specializes in this sort of thing.
But no matter what I've tried, she still doesn't seem to care.
She's a great mother and wonderful housemate, but she has no interest in me sexually.
I put up cameras and even hired a private investigator just so I know if she's cheating or not but she isn't.
To be honest, I kind of wish she was.
We don't fight and I never raised my voice at her, but yet she still goes numb when it comes to the bedroom.
Little conversations we do have are usually about managing the family, finances or the kids. But never about us and especially never about sex.
Leaving her or my family is out of the question because I still love her and I definitely love my family. Plus our arrangement just makes sense logistically.
So what was I supposed to do? I cheated on her. Many times. Any time I could With whoever I could.
I finally got the sex I was looking for, even some sex I didn't know I wanted.
But I still wasn't fulfilled. I still wanted her.
Something deep down in me. I thought that if I cheated on her she would catch me and that would at least get her attention and start the conversation that I've been wanting to have.
I've gone so far as to leave phone numbers in my pants pocket expecting her to find them what she does laundry on the weekends.
But all she did was bring them to me before she washed like it wasn't a big deal.
I legit don't think she cared.
I was at my wits end and unsure what to do.
I was starting not give a fuck either.
That's when my final play came to mind...
Laura was a young lady I would meet up with and fuck regularly. She knew I was married and I think that turned her on because she let me do anything and everything to her.
I don't even know much about her but she's always so eager to hook up when we're both available and I've missed that type of enthusiasm.
Last night, my frustration was at an all time high for some reason, which is weird because it was a great night. We talked a little and the kids had a great day and were surprisingly cooperative and went to bed early.
I figured I would give it a shot since everything went so well during the day.
But no dice. What a surprise.
She just picked up her tablet and buried herself in her mobile games.
To my surprise and confusion: Laura sends me a voice note telling me she's playing with her pussy right now thinking about what we did last Tuesday.
My dick instantly gets hard.
But I'm sick of masturbating and wasting this sexual tension and energy in my own home.
I had officially reached the point where I no longer gave a fuck.
I sent Laura a voice message daring her to come over. She sent a picture of the new black lingerie piece she just bought with a message that said "what's your address?"
I sent it to her thinking she'd just drive by and chicken out since she'd never been here before. All of our encounters had been at the different houses she cleaned as a side gig.
Not even 10 minutes go by when I look down at my phone:
"I'm here baby 😈"
I hop out of bed without my wife even budging and head downstairs.