the-cost-of-curiosity
EXHIBITIONIST VOYEUR

The Cost Of Curiosity

The Cost Of Curiosity

by bloodsugarsxmagic
19 min read
4.62 (9000 views)
adultfiction

"Don't forget your AP exam is Tuesday."

Cassandra's mother only earned herself a deadly gaze, Cassandra turning her head to meet her mother's eyes but not slowing in the least as she strode toward the stairs.

"Of course, I know you know. I'm just nervous for you. I know how hard you've worked."

Cassandra gave no immediate reply. The conversation was beneath her. Everyone in the house knew who was most concerned with, and most on top of, Cassandra's studies. And it was Cassandra.

Halfway up the stairs, she did call down to her mother. Her voice was calm, as it always was, practically a monotone. "I'm taking the train into the city in the morning. For viola. I'll be gone by six, back by 4." Her mother opened her mouth but Cassandra kept walking and her mother swallowed whatever she had thought to say.

Instead, "Okay, honey. Be careful, and send me a text."

"Mm-hmm" was all she got before the sound of Cassandra's bedroom door. Her mother shrugged. This was the way it had always been with her daughter. Cassandra knew what she wanted, took care of it herself, and was exceedingly successful. It felt counterproductive to get too involved.

Cassandra would be studying tonight, getting up early in the morning to go practice her instrument, and tackling some other project over the rest of the weekend; all on top of preparing for her AP exam. There was nothing her parents needed to do. Cassandra took care of herself.

---------------------------

Within five minutes of closing her bedroom door, Cassandra had two fingers inside herself.

Cassandra was a young woman who moved with purpose. Her parents knew it and kept out of her way. Her teachers saw it and threw opportunities at her, shocked by how much she was willing and able to take on. Her peers saw it and shied away, aware she was not the same sort of creature as them.

They all watched and marveled as Cassandra achieved more college credits before high school graduation than anyone in school history, became the youngest first chair in viola in her district, learned fluent Arabic on her own time, volunteered as a translator for local refugees, learned to draw in pen and ink, hit the rock climbing wall multiple times a week, and on, and on.

But none of them knew that she had just as much ambition, as much determination, when it came to sex. They wouldn't even suspect she had a sex life. Cassandra was not the kind of girl that drew boys. She was smart, sarcastic, impatient, intimidatingly successful. She was cute, in a way, with a button nose and dark prominent eyebrows that some of her peers would kill for. But her round face was plain, and made her look young, her lips didn't have that beestung quality that drew the eye, her haircut was severe, her makeup absent, and she dressed sharply, fashionably... for the 1940s.

Some folks assumed she was a lesbian, but in fact she didn't attract the girls either. She was too focused on her projects and accomplishments, too standoffish, too uninterested in small talk. If someone somehow found that all attractive, they were still unlikely to break through the wall. She didn't have time, or interest.

Because it was not boys, or girls, that interested her. It was sex.

So, here she was, 7 o'clock on a Friday night, bedroom door locked, lights turned down, her panties on the floor. Cassandra had her AirPods in. She'd perched her MacBook on the desk and immediately summoned up a video she'd tagged earlier. Leaning back in the chair, spreading her thighs, she was reaching under her modest knee length skirt and stroking herself quickly to wetness.

Cassandra spent the next hour like this. She'd downed a pill on her way home, a 'wake up' pill that was easily scored among the highly-driven and well-off students at her charter school. It would help her tackle her study list tonight. But it also served the purpose of getting her heart rate going and her libido in high gear, for this. Cassandra pulled up four different videos simultaneously, taking it all in at once as she circled her clit, slid a finger deep inside, edged herself.

Lesbian anal strapon sex. Interracial blowbang. Shibari. Electrical torture. Bukkake. Cassandra pulled it all up, more intense and niche as she went. Choking. Piss play. Double vaginal. At the end of the hour, on the dot, Cassandra let her fingers begin to slide at a fierce pace, in and out, stroking her sex as her thumb worked her clit. She came hard, finally, her well-muscled body jerking out an orgasm that nearly drove her from her chair.

Sweating, she drank hard from her Stanley, closed the videos, switched her Airpods to her study playlist, wiped her crotch with her panties, and got down to work. She had a schedule. Her next orgasm would wait for four hours.

---------------------------

"What did you like most about the video?"

Benjamin sat back in his office chair, casually cracking his knuckles and watching the screen for a reply. He normally would be only half paying attention to the chat while doing actual work, and conducting another five or six at the same time. But this one - this one had his attention.

CassNova had increasingly had his attention, for the past two weeks. She was one of the many supposed women he connected to on these kink sites. Most were obviously bots, out for spam, or obviously men. Of the rest many were boring, damaged, or needy - or all three. But the potential for something else kept him clicking and typing. Once in a while he found one who could write, or talk, had something to say, could turn him on and keep him interested.

It wasn't that Benjamin had no other option when it came to women or sex. He was pushing 60, yes, but he was still attractive to some, for his success, ability to dress well, and behave around a lady, if nothing else. In addition, he'd been involved in the world of kink for decades in the city, and there were many outlets there. But these forums and chat sites a variation on the theme; folks he hadn't already run into a hundred times in the sex clubs.

New to him, but also new to the scene. Part of what Benjamin found he enjoyed on these sites was imparting a bit of his experience. Many of the men and women he spoke with were new to their sexuality, exploring hidden interests, testing out the waters inside themselves. He found it satisfying to be part of the process. He supposed maybe he should have gone into teaching. Teaching something a bit more acceptable.

But he never had. Benjamin had been born into money, British wealth stolen from India, if he were honest about it, which he tried to be. He'd learned to invest it. Like anything he chose to do, he did it with exacting technique and unfailing determination. It didn't provide him with much purpose, this turning wealth into more wealth. But it was a puzzle he'd turned his talents to.

Among other puzzles. There was nothing to prevent him exploring whatever passion he chose, other than the challenge of the thing itself. So Benjamin had made money, but also become an ultramarathoner, an oil painter, a piano player. He learned Hindi. Baked bread.

And became a lover. Of sorts. What Benjamin loved was the act, the perversions, the play - less so the person. He'd burned through a few marriages before giving up on that. What loving he enjoyed was more easily found at a sex club than a marriage bed.

And sometimes at the other end of a chat box. Benjamin sat back and waited for CassNova's reply. She had a profile on this site meant primarily for exploring fetishes. He'd replied to her interesting post a few weeks ago, and they had chatted intermittently since. He'd been sending her increasingly perverted content. Carefully titrated. Though she put on that she was an old hat at all this, he'd suspected it was quite the opposite, and he was careful not to scare her off. Her naivete aroused him.

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The chat box lit up, she was typing. Benjamin leaned forward.

"First of all, I appreciated the camera work. I know that's not what you're wondering about, but I appreciate when the sex is clear but there's something interesting about the angles."

One of the things he enjoyed was that CassNova wrote in full sentences; he was sick to death of internet speak. It had led him to suspect she was older, as he knew his opinion was quite a generational one. But she'd proved him wrong, when he'd finally convinced her to send a photo.

Benjamin enjoyed a racy photo as much as the next man, and certainly hoped to find his chat partners attractive. But the main reason he had asked was to know who he was truly chatting with. He didn't waste his time with bots, or scammers. He did chat with quite a few men, but as men, who knew what was happening between them. The photo she'd sent back had no sign of her face, any tattoos, she was careful there. But she'd written her screen name in lipstick across her stomach, and lifted her shirt to show the bottoms of her breasts. She was not a bot. She was a woman. And there was one thing that body was not, which was nearing sixty.

"But to answer you... The choking. In the middle he stops, while she's riding him, and he chokes her for a bit. It looked real."

Benjamin smiled. He'd hoped that would be her answer. He'd sent the video with the very intent of seeing just which parts she glossed over, and which she admitted interest in.

"Why do you say it looks real?"

he replied quickly.

There was little pause.

"Usually the girls act dramatic, over the top, make these dumb expressions. You can tell the guy's just got his hand on her but isn't doing anything."

So it wasn't the first choking scene she'd watched, or paid close attention to. Benjamin wasn't surprised. He'd found that CassNova was deliciously twisted in her interests. But continued to reveal, without meaning to, that they were interests, not experiences. So far.

"Yes, they try to sell it with a big reaction. But if he's thrashing her back and forth, he's not choking her, just grabbing her by the neck."

Benjamin was turned on, thinking of Cass watching the porn star in the video he sent, watching her nearly pass out, and that it had intrigued Cass. He decided he would push her a bit.

"You've never been choked. But you fantasize about it. You're not scared?"

There was a pause this time before CassNova replied. Benjamin wondered if it was too much, but nothing ventured, nothing gained was the literal foundation of his life.

Eventually, her answer came.

"It's attractive because it's scary."

He didn't reply right away. He waited to see what she might add. He knew she must be imagining herself in that girl's position, red faced, eyes losing focus.

"Regular sex is too boring. It has to have an edge on it to excite me. That's what my problem is."

There it was. A crack in the facade. For two weeks she'd been too cool, nothing fazed her.

"Doesn't sound like a problem to me. Sounds like you know what you like."

Benjamin paused again, not waiting for her this time, but deciding what tack to take. This fish on the hook had suddenly become quite appealing to him, and he wanted to reel her in.

"You've seen this site, you're not the only one who finds the edgy stuff appealing. And the vanilla stuff boring. But a lot of these folks, they never do anything more than watch. And talk."

He did pause there. If he asked, she'd rebuff him, he was sure of that.

"And you think I'm one of those."

She responded.

"And you're not."

Benjamin smiled.

"I'm not one of those people, though I won't bore you with the stories. And yes, I suspect that as of this moment you don't do more than watch and talk. But I don't believe for a moment, CassNova, that it will remain that way for long."

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Benjamin paused a moment but didn't see a sign she was typing. He decided to press his luck.

"You are too determined, too sure of yourself and what you want, to leave it untouched. I know that much about you already. When we first started to chat you said you were here just to talk. Maybe since then you've gotten yourself off a time or two. But that's not why you're really here. You are here to get started. And I think you know I'd like to help, CassNova."

There was a long pause this time. After a moment he suspected she might simply close the chat and log off. Eventually the chat window lit up, however. Not a long reply. She simply said:

"You can just call me Cass."

---------------------------

It seemed to Cass that things had begun to happen very quickly. For months, for years, her fantasy sex life had been a secret, growing exponentially in the dark, filling up every available space. She had not provided enough space for it to become a true problem. Cass filled every hour she could with activities and projects as if she could keep it at bay by never giving her mind a moment to think. But eventually even that didn't help. Eventually she cracked. She'd let it out of the dark corner of her mind. She'd told Benjamin.

Benjamin had played it carefully. She was young but she was far less foolhardy than most adults she knew. She knew how dangerous this strange man, any man, could be. How risky it was to offer him anything. He never pushed too far, too fast. And she had been careful, not to give anything.

And yet, still, it was happening quickly. One night, she was chatting with a strange man on the internet. And then another night. A picture, unidentifiable, but real. A fantasy, painfully true. And another one. She'd learned about him, he had offered his truth to make it easier to coax it from her. She knew that. He was careful, but he kept offering more. And she accepted.

He wanted her to have things. Not money, Cassandra was not about to be a sugar baby to this 60-year-old pervert. But still, he wanted her to have things. They'd finally agreed. He secured a post office box. She'd picked the location, in the city. It was nowhere near her actual home. But still, it was a risk. He'd hidden the key for her.

He could have somehow been watching, when she picked up the key, though she'd looked. He could have been watching when she went to the post office, though she'd taken every precaution she could think of. Nothing ventured, nothing gained, he'd told her eventually, when she'd hesitated. She couldn't eliminate the risk, she knew that. And part of her didn't want to.

I like it because it's scary.

He wanted her to have things, and she'd agreed because she wanted to have things. He'd offered her sex toys, gadgets, outfits, whatever she found enticing in a video he sent or she shared. And yes, she wanted some of those things. They offered the ability to scratch those itches that lurked in the back of her brain. And though she was a capable young woman, she hadn't found a way around her age, her family, her embarrassment. Benjamin was a way, a convoluted, inappropriate way to have those things.

But it wasn't just the things, it was having them from him. It was the act. The act of telling him about her terrible lusts. The act of him offering to help her, to supply her. The act of accepting. The act of walking into a downtown post office in the same outfit she'd worn to her charter school that afternoon, picking up a package from an unmarked post office box, knowing it held some sort of sex toy a 60-year-old man had shipped her, and walking out the door carrying that lurid secret. The act of fervently unpacking it behind a grocery store next to a dumpster so that no bit of packaging made its way back to her suburban house. The act of riding the train knowing that a multicolored, suction-cupped, monster dildo was in her backpack. These were not the acts of a girl like her. But they were her acts.

---------------------------

"Relax your tongue. Breathe easily through your nose... Relax your jaw. Let it open wide... Relax your tongue. Push forward as far as feels okay."

Cassandra's AirPods were in. She was wearing her favorite loose pajama set. Comfortable, soft, warm. She was kneeling on her bedroom floor. The dildo had a suction cup and she'd found it stuck best to the wood of her bed posts. The dildo bobbed there, and she knelt there on her carpet, with her lips wrapped around the silicone cock.

She'd expected a simple dildo, plain and smooth perhaps. Or if Benjamin were more twisted, a realistic one with veins and balls. But Benjamin had supplied a lurid toy. It was multi-colored, bright, as if it had taken a quick swipe through some tie-dye. And it was neither smooth nor realistic, it was shaped like several dicks twisted together, conical at the base and bulbous at the head. "Monster Man" the packaging had read.

He'd known, of course, that it wouldn't be enough for Cassandra to practice sucking a rubber cock. Not enough to learn to deep-throat a dildo. Not enough to wrap her inexperienced, teen lips around a veiny replica of some porn star. Not enough for the overachieving, intelligent, model child to kneel in her parents' house and suck a sex toy some old man had sent her. It wasn't enough. Benjamin knew that Cassandra's problem was that she couldn't seem to find enough. Couldn't find the bottom of the darkness.

Maybe this would be enough, to wrap her lips around this bulbous monstrous cock, watch down her nose as the brightly colored thing disappeared inside her mouth. Feel the misshapen thing on her tongue and in her throat.

Benjamin had sent her links to 'instructional videos'. He knew the type of porn Cassandra had watched, he knew she had seen more than enough cocksucking - sloppy, filthy cocksucking. He knew she didn't need it. Yet he also knew how it would feel. How it would feel to be kneeling on the floor, at his direction, listening to the instructions of a porn actress, learning how to suck a cock.

And he was right. She felt humiliated. She felt perverted. She felt demeaned. She felt indignant that this anonymous voice was telling her how to do something she already knew. She felt disgusted that she knew so well how to do this thing despite never having had a boyfriend. She felt aroused as she filled her mouth with fake cock. She felt exhilarated as she listened to herself gag when the misshapen cock head hit her uvula. She felt embarrassed she couldn't take it deeper. She felt pleased as the porn star instructed her how to take more. She felt ashamed that she wanted this. She felt aroused at her own humiliation. She felt ashamed again. She felt aroused.

Soon Cassandra had paused the instructional video so that she could hear her own sounds. The sucking sound of her mouth on silicone, pulling back the saliva in that wanted to cascade down her lips. The sound of coughing and gagging as she took the monster cock too far. The wet sound of her fingers in her pussy bringing her to one tiny orgasm after another. The rushed sound of her breath through her nostrils as her heart raced. The sound of her mother calling to her father downstairs, someone shutting a window, letting out the dog.

She pressed play again.

"Don't panic when it reaches your throat. Breathe calmly through your nose... Relax your throat... You can take it. You can take more."

---------------------------

"Let's see what you got." Benjamin stared into the camera of his laptop, giving CassNova a little smile. He could see it on his face, in the corner of the screen, him perched in shirt and tie at his office desk. Cass's box was black.

He had convinced Cass to have these video chats, even if she didn't turn on her camera. First had come audio, then his video. Benjamin was patient if anything.

"Maybe I've already opened it."

Cass's voice had surprised him, Benjamin couldn't exactly say why. It sounded young, but also deep for a woman, flat, serious. She spoke as she wrote, literately, without excessive fillers. Sarcastic. Guarded.

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