I hit send on the last email of the morning and stood up to refill my coffee cup. My shaking hands and racing heart told me I shouldn't have more, but what can I say? I'm a glutton.
I walked my mug to the kitchen and carefully added the sugar and almond milk before pouring coffee all the way to the top. This would get me through my next meeting, an office hours kind of spectacle that I couldn't skip but that would be exceedingly dull. I didn't even know what we were supposed to be asking questions about, just that the guy running it was rather shy, intensely private, and a pleasure to work with.
Sitting down once more, I clicked into the meeting. It was just over a minute past the scheduled start time but no one was in the meeting except for the host. I normally waited until at least a few other people were in before I joined but seeing as I was relatively comfortable with the host and wanted to show my support, I clicked in.
I unmuted myself for long enough to say a quick "Hi, Scott," but he must not have heard based on the lack of reaction. The camera angle was different than I was used to, too; where it was usually a very professional shot of his head and shoulders, here the camera was higher and off to the side, cutting him off at just under the knee. I chose to remain silent, giving him a chance to lead the meeting as he saw fit. No one else had joined yet and I didn't mind a bit of awkward silence when I could hide behind a mute button and turn my camera off.
Something finally happened as I sipped my coffee in quiet. Scott stopped whatever he had been typing, clicked around a few times, and moved his hand off the mouse. He fidgeted with his face for a moment before placing his left hand on his lap, palm facing down. I unmuted once more to say hello and alert him to my presence, but he clearly had the volume down and was none the wiser. I then watched as he applied more pressure with his open hand, moving his palm up and down slowly across the crotch of his shorts.
