A View to a Spill
Some years ago I had dropped over to visit my friend Sharon, who worked in the office of a naturst group I belong to. The group runs a private beach on a secluded stretch of the Jersey Shore, generally for couples and the occasional single female. I hadn't been able to visit all last year and wanted to see how business was going this season.
Sharon was in a good mood that day, although she noted that things had been slow lately. There had been no new members that year, although current membership was holding steady and things seemed to be lively at the beach club house. She told me that she had only been able to visit perhaps three times so far this year, and we talked about scheduling a possible visit in the near future.
The office was dry and spartan, sparsely decorated with a few not-telling artifacts from the lifestyle. Sharon talked freely, flinging her large, sumptuous legs across her desk. I sat on a small file cabinet to her left, kicking my legs and shooting the breeze.
During a lull in the conversation, I stared idly out the window for a moment, so I happened to see the stranger before she did. He looked like a villain out of an '80s movie: in his late 20s or early 30s, overly tanned, overly buff, wearing an overly tight grey shirt and jeans and wraparound shades, maybe Mediterranean, with a jheri curl and a slight mullet. Even from two floors up I could tell by the way he crossed the street to the building that he was bound for the office. I reckoned I would finally get to see Sharon's famed temper in action, and prepared myself for a treat. I did get a show, but not at all the one I expected.
The stranger introduced himself as Doug something and made himself comfortable in the seat across from Sharon's desk, flashing a half-smile. I made a move to leave, but Sharon raised her eyebrows and I plopped back down. The stranger barely gave a nod in my direction, and focused entirely on Shar. He told her he was interested in joining the club and asked about the rates.
Sharon sighed and took off her glasses. A redhead in her mid-40, with only a few extra pounds on her voluptuous frame, I had nearly forgotten what a stunner she could be. She turned a mock-smoldering, pitying glance on the stranger and smiled, her teeth almost the same color as her lily-white skin.
"Look," she said. "I appreciate you coming down here, but you could've saved yourself the trouble. How much do you know about our group?"
The stranger just shrugged and said he heard it was a private naturist group with a beachfront clubhouse that was open almost year round.
Sharon nodded. "But if you would've called I would've gladly informed you that we rarely, if ever, accept single males into the group. The selection process is extremely intensive." She gave me a look and rolled her eyes slightly. I knew what she meant. My wife and I had been admitted only after a rigorous background check many years back. In my time there I had never known them to admit single men.
But the stranger seemed determined. He was silent for a moment, then asked who was on the selection committee and what it entailed. Sharon explained that she was the chairwoman and discussed the criteria with him, but again stressed that it was very rare that single men were allowed in on their own accord.
The stranger leaned forward, as if to whisper to her. Shar showed a strained smile and bent forward. What if he had something that could change her mind?
She laughed, and I wondered if the man's weird charm and good looks were getting to her.
"That depends," she said, "On what you're offering."
Well, the stranger said, he could certainly satisfy them with regard to all the financial aspects of membership, but in addition he had a very peculiar...bonus that he could provide, perhaps in the realm of aesthetic experience for club members, especially the females.
Sharon raised her eyebrows. "And what would that be? You're certainly an attractive man, Doug, but there are a number of those in our club. And if you're talking about...other elements of your anatomy, well there are many there who may beat you in that department, as well."