The Boyfriend

XXXVI: He's Not There

Blake

Blake chewed the side of her lip as she looked around the room, thinking about the sage green walls and the plants. For some reason, it frustrated her that the room's calming effect was working on her. Almost as frustrating, was the pleasant, perfectly patient half-smile on Dr. Cardaso's face, despite the fact that neither of them had spoken for the last five minutes.

She gets paid either way.

Which meant every moment of silence was wasted money.

And I either have a lot of that, or don't have a lot of that, which is what I wanted to talk about in the first place.

Closing her eyes, Blake took a deep breath, then let it all out and met Dr. Cardaso's gaze.

"My mom left me a lot of money."

Dr. Cardaso's lips twitched almost imperceptibly, but Blake caught it. It made her more frustrated, but more with herself than the doctor or anything else.

"Not millions or enough that I could just pay off all my loans and not have to work until I finished school," she continued, forcing out the words, "But enough that I'll be able to probably pay off my loans before I'm thirty, and I wouldn't need to live with a roommate to afford a decent place after graduating. She also left me the house. There's still a bit of the mortgage left on it, but...not much."

Blake sighed, leaning forward on her elbows, face in her hands as she massaged her forehead. She felt a bit better, but also drained, for some reason.

"And while a lot of people would find comfort in that," Dr. Cardaso said, "You don't."

"I don't want her fucking money."

Blake blinked at the coldness in her voice, then frowned up at Dr. Cardaso, cheeks hot.

"Sorry," she said glancing down at the floor, "For the language and--"

She stopped as Dr. Cardaso waved a hand, smiling, "Though I appreciate it, you don't need to apologize, Blake. Therapy means language sometimes."

Blake gave her a tight smile, tucking a lock of hair behind her ear, "Thanks."

"Can I ask, though...if the money didn't go to you, where would you rather it go?"

Blake shrugged, "My dad? My grandparents? She owes them that much."

"But she doesn't owe you?"

Blake had to bite her tongue from falling into that one.

Instead, she sighed, squeezing her eyes shut, "Fuck."

"Can you think of a specific reason why you don't want her money? Or the house that you presumably lived in for at least a while?"

Blake swallowed, stomach tightening, "I know the house one."

Dr. Cardaso arched an eyebrow, and Blake found her eyes hot as she went to answer. When she forced out the words, her voice broke.

"Because he's not there anymore."

A/N: I know this one is a bit shorter than usual, but I just couldn't see it getting grouped with the previous or following chapter, and though the end I have was a pretty great stopping point (as Blake gets more into things later)