The Boo of Renee

Author Note: This is a prelude to the next upcoming season in the Educated Simp's life. (Originally was supposed to premiere at the end of October. Sorry about that, I've fallen on hard times and thought I should get some of this wok out to the public.).

I'll be waiting for your comments, enjoy!!

************************************************************************************

"What're you doing?"

"Pulling over for gas; you do know that cars need gas to uh, move right?"

"That supposed to be funny, right?"

"You asked a question, and I answered it."

"If only it were that simple, then I wouldn't have to be the collective brain trust in this fucking relationship. I didn't know you could be so funny. Careful, don't make me laugh hard enough to lose the baby."

"Then why're we making this trip; you're six months pregnant, Renee?" Jaquan glanced over at the future mother of his incoming child, impossibly beautiful sitting there beside him tapping away at her expensive phone, texting.

"Family business, nigga." Even though her slanted green eyes were hidden behind some expensive Christian Dior sunglasses, he could detect her them getting narrower while her symmetrically beautiful face remined static. His lover and future baby mama #2 had the greatest of all poker faces.

"It couldn't wait until the baby was here?"

"If it could wait, then I wouldn't be doing it now Jaquan; what, am I messing up your busy social life with whatever skank you think I don't know about?"

"There's nobody else, Renee." He replied sullenly pulling up to a pump at the roadside gas station and rest stop in the middle of nowhere. Both had been on the road for hours at her insistence, and he was desperate to keep his especially irritated pregnant girlfriend from blowing up in his face at this point.

"Oh really; maybe I should look in the trunk. You've probably smuggled some rachet pussy so that you don't go into cheater's withdrawal, nigga."

"Cut it out Renee; you're the only woman for me." She pulled off the shades, slanted eyes narrowed into slits with a half smirk on her knowing face. Her shoulder length highlighted tresses were swept into a tight ponytail, with a side swept bang in the front. Rene Kelly had a talent for doing hair that netted her a considerable amount of money working out of her kitchen, presently. She never seemed to require money, always dressed in expensive and fine raiment despite no outward explanation for the funds needed to keep up her look. Today, she was wearing a white muumuu styled dress that did nothing to hide her burgeoning charms, already swollen with milk. The seatbelt across her chest was partially hidden, wedged hidden between her big bouncy looking breasts.

"Oh yeah, then let me look in your palm." Jaquan looked down, finding her hand outstretched, waiting for his.

"Cut it out, girl."

"That's what I thought your black ass would say; so, now that we've got that shit out of the way, I want you to bring me a bunch of candy bars. Your baby is hungry, and I want a wide spread, too. Do I have to spell it out for you; write you a fucking list, huh Jaquan?" Her angry dismissive tone made him flinch as he got out of their rental car, biting his lip to keep from furthering an argument that had been building for the last ten miles of their trip.

"I GOT IT!" He shouted, despite himself. Jaquan lingered there with his arms draped across the top of the Toyota Prius Renee rented without consulting him. This trip had come out of nowhere on the heels of a dustup between the two after she went through his phone reading a myriad of texts most past and some present between him and other women, deleting several numbers he'd had for years.

"Well, you're still here, or did you forget already? JAQUAN?!! HEY, DO YOU HEAR ME TALKING TO YOU?!! HEY, ANSWER ME GAWDDAMIT!! JAQUAN?!!" Renee burst into a screaming fit, indignant at the seconds after her smarmy question went unanswered. He bent at the waist looking into the window.

"Chill, I was just thinking."

"WELL, THAT'S A FIRST!" Renee shot back, returning to texting visibly bristling.

He stared at her profile enchanted with her beauty like he'd always been since they met at a city sponsored mixer. That heightened sense of her being engulfed him whenever they were in proximity making the certified ladies' man, uncharacteristically jealous and over possessive to a fault.

"Stop looking, nigga." Renee commented without peering up from the face of her phone. He knew she was probably shredding him via text with her bestie, Rashida Sikes.

"OKAY!!" He stormed off digging out his wallet removing a credit card, stopping to look back again at Renee sitting there engrossed in her phone.

"STOP LOOKING MOTHERFUCKER!!" She screamed without looking, catching the attention of other patrons of the roadside stop.

Jaquan noticed a few people near their vehicles, one portly hillbilly looking woman giving him disparaging looks while her cowboy husband filled the tank of their pickup truck. His gaze drifted from her pockmarked features to the inside of the truck, finding some skanky looking blonde watching him intently. This teen raised a hand making an obscene gesture that made him doubletake. Jaquan hurried inside the station part of the rest stop to pay for gas and get Renee's requested candy bars.

The interior of the station was a culture shock for Jaquan who didn't travel much by car, preferring to fly to destinations frequented on the regular. He'd suggested a flight to Vegas, but she balked, wanting the trip down south instead. Jaquan walked the aisles picking up random candy bars noticing a wide assortment of what seemed like random items mixed in with the usual tourist trap garbage, thinking the place was more suitable as a secondhand store. He stopped in his tracks looking at a few small stuffed animals lining the big panel window facing out towards the gas pumps. Renee was talking on her phone.

"Alright, cool." Jaquan's brow furrowed knowing there was ninety minutes left on this trip.

He turned about to reach into his back pocket for his phone, finding it missing. Jaquan glanced back again realizing Renee was on his phone, suddenly panicking almost losing the handful of candy bars she'd requested. He had to force himself to calm down knowing he was screwed one way or the other. She was always a handful, but after their first time doing it, she'd become something akin to a prison guard policing the relationship. The situation had gone up exponentially after she became pregnant.

"Aw fuck my life." Jaquan fingered a thin white gold chain about his neck that she'd given him sometime after they started dating. Despite their troubles, Renee Kelly was the crown jewel in the pantheon of beautiful and stacked, thick women he'd slept with up until she appeared in his life.

The unique looking beauty seemed amused by him in the early days, even letting him think she was mixed Chinese due to her slanted, almost iridescent eyes. Renee kept up the fiction speaking Mandarin for a good portion of their conversation enjoying the fact that Jaquan went so far as to use a translator on his phone before she blew up the prank, talking like a round-the way, sister from the streets. He learned of her hundred plus IQ and proficiency in several languages, shocked and amazed.

They went back and forth for weeks about her heritage, playful yet combative alternately before she asked him if he found her less attractive if she were, just black. This killed the conversation and nearly did their relationship in with the exotic beauty ghosting him after that while seemingly exploring other dating options. She made it a point to send emojis and sparse one- or two-word texts at odd hours of the night, keeping the flames stoked.

This drove Jaquan crazy enough to focus solely on her for a while, calling and leaving messages incessantly until his physician mother threatened to send him to a therapist when he wouldn't stop talking about Renee. He would've checked her social media, but she stripped it of all photos except for two pics. One grainy looking pic from her high school days, the other this odd photo of a driveway surrounded by overgrowth, and these twisted gnarly looking trees. Despite that, Jaquan kept looking at those two pics until he nearly burst. He knew Renee was playing games but couldn't get out of things.

A random call got him back into the swing of things, but Renee quashed that at the moment he was getting behind the wheel to hook up with this curvy sister he met at the mall. The pale exotic beauty was in over her head on a date with some Chad who folded when Jaquan showed up ready for war. Renee had to body between him and the blonde trust fund baby to keep Jaquan from folding the Lacross player in two and stuffing him in a garbage can. Renee's form-fitting attire consisting of a black bodycon dress and calve length stiletto heeled boots convinced him she was little more than a social climber.

Renee seemed to know what he was thinking, chiding him by saying that she thought he wasn't interested in a simple black girl like herself. She was impossibly beautiful and nigh impossible to resist. He found himself caught up in her wake after she purchased that white gold chain, placing it around his neck with orders not to remove it unless he never wanted to see her again. That chain became a part of his body as he danced to her tune, getting increasingly hot and bothered until they nearly broke up.

Jaquan was beyond excited to be her prom date despite his mother's protestations after meeting Renee. Honestly that night was a blur in his memory due to what happened afterwards. She kept him guessing after a playdate at the local park went awry when he ended up defending her honor, upending his involvement in a local basketball tournament. Renee dressed in the skimpiest attire possible given her devastating curves making it hard for Jaquan to focus on the court. His game went in the toilet while Renee seemed to flirt with an inordinate number of admirers courtside, mostly thugs.

Prom night at approximately midnight, Jaquan finally closed the deal absolutely nuking her maidenhead. He went H.A.M on the exotic looking pale beauty pounding her several times after that first initial hour in a hotel suite in a five-star Renee swore, she rented for the occasion. The mounting lust and her incessant teasing were returned with interest, fueled by an underlying pervasive jealousy brought on by this older Caucasian benefactor who was never too far away. It felt like he crossed the finish line as they kept it up for a day and a half. Renee proved to be a quick study, matching his intensity halfway through.

Jaquan always had a sneaking suspicion about that older man thinking Renee was trading something "strange for some change" on the low. This made him angry when she forced him to wait until she was ready, then abated after he saw proof of her chastity all over his generous endowment, six pack abs and the sheets under her incredibly big heart shaped ass. It felt like he's stolen the prize from that old man.

Her pregnancy further cemented things between unsaid rivals as the old guy disappeared for a time, popping up later with extravagant gifts for Renee and the baby. His hangdog expression after things were made clear, never left. He would stare at Jaquan with dead eyes, but always looked at Renee affectionately. It lingered in the back of his mind, making him suspicious. Renee disappeared for a day and a half shortly after their first time, returning with no explanation resuming things between them.

Jaquan suspected she'd gone to her sponsor during that missing time but had to force himself away from those thoughts or risk pummeling him. When questioned, Renee outright ignored him acting like the question hadn't been posed. When he pressed further, Renee demonstrated what she'd learned from him on that fateful prom night. Jaquan didn't press further coveting her looks not wanting to give her up to that old rich guy who always seemed to be leering. Renee would have no problem replacing him, so he sucked it up letting the issue fester in the back of his head. Later, he cheated.

Renee seemed to have this otherworldly quality about herself, ironically questioning him about his whereabouts asking to look into his palm. When he refused, she disappeared again, making him morose and grief stricken for the next six weeks. He tried to bury the Renee experience by sleeping with a few women, all nines and tens in appearances face and body. When she returned again, her mood was markedly toxic and almost wholly aggressive. She was omnipresent snapping at his heels, stifling.

Renee Kelly was pregnant with his child.

Six months later, they were on a road trip down south to meet some of her relatives.

"YOU PAYING, AIN'T YOU?!" Jaquan was distracted from his internal ruminations by the loud boisterous voice of some woman while he waited at the end of a long line that extended from the counter into the center aisle. He was bordered on either side by shelves stocked with various odds and ends, some rough looking secondhand clothing as well. Jaquan was stuck there without a phone figuring Renee was probably boiling over waiting there for his return. There was a lock code on his phone, but his future baby mama possessed a genius level intellect and knowledge of his limited range of used passwords.

"BABY YOU GOTTA AT LEAST GET ME A SODA POP, FOR SOME OF MY CAKE!!" Raucous laughter filled the station grabbing Jaquan's attention. His height allowed him to look over the heads of some people already waiting in line which made things cluttered, with the immediate feel of a DMV office. The loud boisterous disturbance was hidden upfront at the counter by a large afro of thick highlighted brownish black curls shaking and bobbing horizontally while some lanky guy with a hangdog face frantically dug around in the pockets of his dingy looking jeans. Jaquan smirked thinking he should buy the hapless guy a new pair right off the shelf to his right. Some morbidly obese trucker obscured the squawking woman.

"HOLD UP!! I'M DIGGING IN MY POCKETS!!" He shouted, matching the loudness of her voice creating more inherent humor in their shared situation.

"HURRY UP ERNIE; WHAT, YOU PLAYING POCKET POOL WITH YOUR SKINNY ASS PECKER?!" Jaquan could tell she wasn't serious in the least, but the rest of the line was fast becoming impatient and annoyed with the floor show. A family in the middle with a wife supporting a toddler on her hip, started loudly complaining.

"DAMMIT!! CUT IT OUT!!" A loud smack likely delivered to the anxious guy's rear kept things jovial, despite the line as Jaquan glanced out the window finding Renee sitting there with an arm propped up on the open passenger side window. The pale beauty did not look pleased in the least as his attention returned to the line finding the morbidly obese trucker stalking off, grumbling a racial epithet or two.

"...oh, shit." Jaquan got an eyeful of the source of the disturbance.

She was about five seven, aforementioned shock of blown out curls, narrow shoulders and torso all drenched in this sunbaked skin tone spotted with a smattering of lighter spots and random freckles. This was a honey dipped country flavored redbone, one of his preferences during his glory days on the basketball team in high school. He was a star player with a golden ticket to the finest women on campus. It was a privilege he eagerly partook of with it causing the end of his relationship with Baby mama #1 presently overseas on a military base in Germany. Renee was the finite end of that taste, until now.

From an impossibly small waist downward, this woman was sporting the mother of all asses, a literal shelf jutting out spectacularly in a visually intrusive manner. This monstrous honey-soaked backside was homegrown to the extreme sporting some barely visible stretchmarks in the exposed small of her back along with more pronounced ones streaking her hips, like miniature thunderbolts. There was this big, jiggly semi-solid nature to these cheeks accentuated in a traffic accident of rear cleavage, barely covered if at all. A literal whole half of her ginormous ass was exposed in these weathered form-fitting beyond skintight jeans. The waistline of those jeans cut across the middle of her jello jiggly back porch.

"AW SHIT I'LL PAY FOR YOUR STUFF, LADY!!" The fat trucker returned slamming a wad of cash on the counter as Jaquan got a look at her face in profile, finding a conventionally attractive black woman with a smattering of freckles isolated to the center of her face which had a garish smile plastered across it.

"Now ain't that something mister man? Guess you gets, that reward instead of this slowpoke, over here!" Her hands swiped through the air palm landing in the lanky guy's sternum with a hollow sounding thump as she pivoted, twerking dangerously. More laughter and angry groans followed while Jaquan enjoyed the floor show. This woman's tiny waist and humongous butt had him at full twelve-inch mast. The known lothario imagined what he would do with this woman given half a chance. This weird familiar feeling made the hairs on the back of his neck stand up, prompting Jaquan to look over his shoulder finding a shock to the system. He felt his heart leap into his throat and gulped it back down.

Renee Kelly was peering into the window with a look on her symmetrical pale face that made his blood run cold. Her light slanted green eyes were slits while the bridge of her nose and cheeks were ruddy.

"Aw shit." He hurriedly turned about scared Renee was about to make a public spectacle finding the woman walking out of the store with an arm hooked in the truckdriver who'd paid her tab. When he looked back again, Renee was already moving in profile towards the station doors.

"Fuck, me." Jaquan mumbled, increasingly horrified knowing that once she laid eyes on that uber thick redbone, his goose would be cooked. He looked back again, heartened to find that Renee was on her way back to their rental car. Moments later, that thick sister walked by in the opposite direction visibly flirting with the morbidly obese trucker blabbing incessantly. Renee seemed none the wiser as he made it to the counter producing his black card. His mind lingered on those jiggly humongous ass cheeks.

Renee didn't say anything as he gave her the plastic bag through her half open passenger side window noticing his phone in the cup holder. She wasn't fooling him one bit as he filled the tank getting inside opening an energy drink. Renee was obviously brooding, this time staring at her phone.

A busted looking 1972 gremlin pulled in front of them as Jaquan was about to pull off, making him spill a little of the drink in his lap. Renee snickered without looking, as he bristled.

"FUCK!!" He thumped the horn getting no response as Renee chuckled, still not looking.

Then his eyes went wide as the country thick ingenue with the humongous ass walked right in front of his car, hyper plumber's crack and all. She had both thumbs in the waistband doing this hopping sort of jig as she half ran to the passenger side, hopping in. The silhouette of that lanky guy was plain behind the wheel leaving Jaquan to figure he'd been looking at his maybe girlfriend.

The car sped off cutting awkwardly across some grass bumping a ditch as it disappeared down the road.

Jaquan looked over finding Renee's slanted eyes in a fixed death glare.

He knew better than to say anything, slowly pulling off as she resumed looking at a movie on her phone. She was wearing some earbuds leaving him isolated in the cramped space. His mind drifted to their immediate past right before she appeared recalling his mother storming into the house to confront him for getting another girl pregnant. It was a comedy of errors as Jaquan went down a list of women, he'd been currently hooking up with not mentioning the neighbor's daughter from two doors over, he'd just stuffed that morning in her basement. His physician mother facepalmed thumping him with her purse before asking him if he'd already forgotten about Renee. His look of genuine shock didn't help matters.