Budgie smugglers are Speedos.
*
I'd decided there would be no celebration of April Fool's Day this year for me. I couldn't think of a suitable prank and I don't think the pranks I'd engineered in the past had been appreciated. The plastic object that looked like dog vomit hadn't been appreciated when placed on my wife's car seat. The stones placed in a hub cap hadn't elicited any appreciation when the Automobile Association was called to sort the problem noise out- twice. When the car went to the mechanics I had to pay a considerable sum to rectify the problem. She didn't see any humour in it at all. I'd learnt my lesson. It's not much fun laughing on one's own.
This year would be innocent of any prank. There are no thanks for pranks. I guess it's just as well. We were going to Ruth and Colin's for lunch instead. I couldn't imagine any thing happening there. Sonya introduced me to them at church. She worked at the clinic with Ruth.
Sonya had placed my bathers on the bed for me to put on saying there would be a heated pool. Why she had my budgie smugglers out and not my board shorts was a mystery to me because she usually hated my budgie smugglers. I put them on under my clothes and we were soon away with a plate of salad on my knees.
We arrived at about eleven. Ruth opened the front door and surprised me, she was dressed in the briefest bikini. Small black triangles that barely hid her nipples and another which would have necessitated a full Brazilian wax or shave. She took the plate from Sonya as she said she was so pleased to see us. I was thinking I could see more of her than she could see of me. She invited us inside, turned for us to follow and I was surprised to see there was no fabric to the back of her bikini, only a few lengths of string. Sonya glanced at me and I saw her grin. The grin surprised me too.
Ruth put the platter on the kitchen table and led us to her bedroom where we could change into our bathers. She pulled the door closed to give us some privacy. Sonya started to shed her clothes and I discovered she too had the briefest bikini. I'd never seen it before. She's normally very conservative. I started to get my clothes off and asked if there was a risk she could have an escape.
"I don't think so, not with the tape," and I watched as she lifted a triangle of her bikini top and the skin of her breast stretched with it. I'd never heard of bikinis being glued on. I didn't feel so bad wearing my budgie smugglers, they weren't nearly as revealing as her bikini, though they were becoming stretched by the behaviour of parts with in.
Ready, we went to the kitchen and Ruth handed us drinks.
"Colin had to go to the office," she explained. "We're still waiting for Helen and Jane." There was a knock on the front door and she went to meet them. Just as well, I'd discovered the bottom triangle of her bikini was transparent. It was difficult to ignore. Again she was effusive in her welcome and took their plate. I'd never met them and felt a little odd in my budgie smugglers as we were introduced. Helen was taller than me and for the pretend cheek kiss I was on my toes. Jane was more my height and it was a lot more comfortable. Ruth led them to the bed room and she closed the door for them to change.
We stood around in the kitchen as Ruth made their drinks and they talked about the exigencies of work. Apparently there were difficulties about taking pap smears. I cringed but couldn't stop listening. Helen and Jane soon joined us. They too were in the briefest bikinis with transparent fabric like Ruth and Sonya. I couldn't help but look. The line of their sex was clearly visible. Ruth told us they'd had a burglary recently and she was now extra vigilant as she locked the bed room door. The key was on a string which she hung around her neck and it extended to be between her wobbling breasts.
We followed her out side to the pool. Ruth, on a knee, tested the temperature as she put her hand in and her breasts tested her bikini. They all followed suit and declared the water to be "perfect". I jumped in. It was beautiful. I stretched out and started to swim. Goldilocks temperature, not too hot, not too cold, but just right. One by one the ladies got in, careful not to get their hair wet. I was tempted to bomb them but resisted.
I heard Ruth ask Jane whether she was having problems with taking paps. Apparently the slides were kept in another room and frequently they had the lady in stirrups to discover they had to get slides. Highly embarrassing, especially as they had to go through an examination room to access them in another room. In both rooms a client could be in a similar state of undress and display. Sonya asked Helen and she agreed some thing should be done. Only yesterday it had happened to her. She realised after putting the speculum in and had to take it out to go and get more slides. She'd had to intrude while a doctor was doing a breast examination in one room and another doctor was doing a vaginal examination in another. I could only imagine. I imagined plenty. I was embarrassed for them.
My budgie smugglers were very inadequate. I started swimming to distract my self from the conversation topic and hopefully improve the adequacy of my budgie smugglers. There was no way I would contribute. They were doing breast stroke as they bobbed around sedately in the water. Ruth went to the side of the pool and looked at her watch.
"Two minutes," she whispered to Sonya. I had no idea what that was about.
I got out of the pool to do a dive, being very careful not to display my excited state. It was difficult with barely fettered breasts floating on the water and the topic of conversation. My dive apparently produced a splash because they all complained when I surfaced.
"April Fools," I declared, not really thinking. The moment I did I felt some thing odd happening and looked down. I could see a piece of fabric floating next to me, then another, and another. It took a moment to compute. I felt the women looking at me. It was as though they knew some thing I didn't. Jane giggled. Helen giggled too. Sonya moved to me, picked the three small pieces of fabric out of the water, held them aloft in her hand and said,
"Happy April Fool's Day, dear," and threw them out of the pool. They were all laughing as I slowly realised. The fabric, only a very short time ago, had been my budgie smugglers. I was now naked and felt the flush of embarrassment as realisation set in.
"Our turn to look at you, John," Helen said. They were all laughing.
"Twelve o'clock, John. You're too late to fool us now." Ruth was holding her watch up to show me.
"I want to see your dick, John." Jane was grinning.
"But, it's past twelve, April Fool's Day is now over," I reminded them.
"It wasn't for me last year," Sonya reminded me, "It wasn't until after five o'clock the stones were found in my hub cap. You have to admit I was a good sport. It's your turn to be a good sport."
"Okay."
"A few months ago you told Bob I was "inclined to be a little bit of a prude." I want you to show us you're not a prude."
"What do you want me to do, Sonya?" I was worried. Very worried, as I waited for her reply.
"You can jack off in front of us."
"What? Now?" my voice squeaked, barely able to get the words out, incredulous.
"Lunch first," Ruth offered, "so we can build our anticipation. I can barely wait, but I want you at full strength." She started to get out of the pool. Instead of using the stairs she chose to climb the wall in a most undignified, unladylike fashion. I discovered the lower, fabric triangle was insufficient to hide all of her feminine charm. Indeed, the triangle slipped to one side and as she raised one knee her vulva opened wide to my gaze.
