This is a culmination to the 'Mistaken Identity' stories. However it stands alone, as the earlier submissions have been reworked and make up the first half.
I refrain from calling it the conclusion, because as you will find, some stories are still to be told.
* * * * *
Every year, grown men and women in this town dress up in costumes and masks and gather to drink and dance and be someone else.
And every year, I attend, as Joe the Journo, Pete the Paparazzi, or some other media figure. Pretending to be what I really am, I am able to move about freely, taking photos, asking questions; all the time hoping to expose the town's business folk for what that really are.
Ingenious, don't you think.
But that's enough about me.
This year's party started out the same way. Then I saw her, and from that moment, only one story mattered.
One where the costume party would prove to be just the beginning.
Chapter 1
With both hands full on her way back from the bar, Sara the Slut is easy prey for the character blocking her path.
"Let me purge your sins, my child," urges the Padre, clamping his mouth on hers. One prolonged French kiss later, it is a breathless Padre who needs saving. Sara laughs at his predicament.
"Here, let me check," offers the Nurse, back from helping Houdini escape from his assistant. She takes a firm grip on his rising interest. "Now cough, Padre."
He does. And is pronounced alive.
That's how it is at this and every other year's Combined Charities Costume Party with Masks. The Nurse examines patients and gets away with it, because that's what nurses do. Dick the Detective threatens to body search everyone, except the Nun, even when behaviour becomes less and less....um, holy. Dracula bites stranger's necks, because that's what Dracula does. And Sara the Slut - well, you get the picture.
In her black lycra, heels and fishnet stockings, she greets everyone with her price list and 'worth-every-cent' smile.
"Lesbian: $50 a half hour; group: $200; Interracial: $50 an hour. Anything else I can't get at home is negotiable."
Mike the Miser isn't convinced. Toulouse-Lautrec rushes to her defense.
"You must be kidding. Quibbling over those prices? Look at those tits," he argues.
"But have you seen them?" counters Mike. "They mightn't be real."
"Well, what about her arse? What a great arse! And her legs...man."
"What would you know? You're just a mad little artist"-
"With an oversized dick!"
"And a case of the clap that ultimately kills you."
"Not before I make a whole lot of whores happy," he says, with a wink to Sara.
He needn't have bothered. Sara- quite the artist herself- knows all about the legend of Toulouse-Lautrec. And it's unlikely that this pretender will be able to measure up.
"So, can I do you?"
The voice interrupts her thoughts.
"Can you what?"
"What about it? Can I do a sketch of you?"
"Weren't all your models nude?"
"Of course?"
"And that's what you have in mind for me?"
"Of course!"
"I don't come cheap."
"And I'm not used to paying."
"I'm free!" It's that persistent Nurse.
"Looks like you missed your chance," says Lautrec to Sara.
"And you." "How do you figure that?"
"Well, I was thinking it should be me doing you. Now that would be an interesting twist to the tale."
"You paint?"
"Oh yeah."
"And she can come along?" he asks, pointing to the Nurse.
"If she's got 50 bucks. For each half hour."
Recollections of Sara's price list conjure images he has always considered priceless.
"It's a deal!" someone yells.
All three turn towards a leering Mike the Miser, who adds, "And I'd better get my money's worth."
_______________________________
Dracula is pissed. And pissed off. At the time of the night that should belong to him, Sara the Slut has forgotten he exists. Instead she is being way too nice to that miserly Mike. Buying him drinks and all.
Bet he's ripping her off. Well, fuck her! I'm off to see the Nurse.
Dracula rises from the bar and teeters towards the booth where the Nurse and Lautrec are saying farewell to a bunch dominated by Sherwood forest dwellers.
"You can't be leaving yet," he mumbles.
"Sorry, Drac," she says. "But I'm on morning shift."
"And I'm making sure she's fit to get there," smirks Lautrec. "But I'm sure these guys plan to kick on."
Dracula looks over the group. Maid Marion appears determined to see if Little John isn't so little. Not that Robin seems to mind. Will Scarlett's tights have caught his attention. Friar Tuck is right out of luck. But there is someone else.
Looks like it's the Nun- or none.
Minutes later, Dracula is too busy with the Nun to notice the quartet of Mike the Miser and Sara the Slut, and Toulouse-Lautrec and the Nurse leave arm in arm.
But they notice him. And the irony of Count Dracula's hand under a Nun's habit is not lost on them.
"Wish I had a camera," remarks Sara.
Magically, a bright flash captures the moment.
"See, tonight your wishes do come true!" calls Lautrec.
As they might for the shadowy character who has decided to follow them to her home.
________________________________
Dick the Detective is dirty. For the hour since the revelers entered the house, he has been hiding in the bushes hoping the phantom photographer will make an appearance. An hour he could have spent back at the party deciding who would get a ride in his police car. More than enough time for the jerk to turn up here, if he was going to.
He has passed the time applying his deductive skills to what has unfolded. And right now, from the lights and laughter, he knows they are all in the loft. Which he just might be able to see into if he stands on the garden gnome in the rose bed.
So he does.
In time to see Sara appear, now wearing a long paint-stained shirt tied at her waist, and apparently bugger all else. She gestures to the couch, onto which Toulouse-Lautrec unceremoniously flops.
"No,no, no," she admonishes. "Get them off, just like I would have had to."
All of a sudden, Toulouse-Lautrec isn't so cocky.
"Get on with it!"
"But I'm, well, uh, there's a bit happening down there."
"I'd be insulted if there wasn't," she replies. "Either you do it, or I will."
Which prompts him to quickly remove his shirt and, with a flourish, toss it onto the ceiling fan.
He has barely laid back on the couch when she orders, "Now the rest."