I, Margaret Desdemona Callan, presently residing at 320 Reage Avenue in Sunny Park, California, declare this to be my Last Will and Testament, and hereby...
Toby skimmed the rest of the document, printed on high quality paper, that had been mailed to him by his Aunt's lawyer. Aunt Meg was a character, and he'd always enjoyed her visits and the scandalous stories she told, although he doubted very many of them were true. She didn't have any children - got fixed, she used to say, so she could do whatever she wanted, wink, wink - and so he would not be particularly surprised to find out that she'd left him something. It wouldn't be much, and it wouldn't be as good as having her show up on his doorstep and ask him what sort of mischief he'd been up to, but he couldn't pretend to be
uninterested
. He had student debts to pay. Moreover, the legalese wasn't interesting at all.
She appointed her lawyer, Bill Goldstein, as her Personal Representative. That seemed to mean executor. Blah, blah, blah.
I do hereby bequeath my estate to my nephew, Toby Edmund Brown, and to my niece, Faith Constant Cromwell, save for my real property, share and share alike, with certain conditions.
Should Toby Edmund Brown fail to reside at 322 Reage Avenue, in Sunny Park, California, for at least ten months out of each calendar year, he shall forfeit all interest in the estate.
Should Faith Constance Cromwell fail to reside at 320 Reage Avenue, in Sunny Park, California, for at least ten months out of each calendar year, she shall forfeit all interest in the estate.
Should either make an effort to contest this will, he or she shall forfeit all interest in the estate.
Should either or both forfeit, their allotment of the state shall be distributed equally to the following charities...
The money was held in trust, so no lump sum to pay off his student debts with. Instead, they'd get the interest, which couldn't amount to much.
Two houses? Aunt Meg owned two houses? He kept reading. Apparently, the two houses were to be held in trust for the cousins, for their exclusive use as long as they lived there. Should they fail to live there, the houses would be sold by the executor and the proceeds given to charity. If they lived there until their death, they could will them on to someone else.
And if half the stories Meg told were true, or even a quarter, Sunny Park was a very odd place. A town, perhaps, but also an intentional community, where people had very open minds. Meg hinted at wild sexual escapades, but of course Toby's parents always shushed her and sometimes told her if she talked that way in front of the children she wouldn't be invited back.
As an adolescent, Toby had hung on every word. Sunny Park sounded like a hedonistic paradise. Now, as an adult, he wondered if he could afford to live there. His job meant going into an office in Manhattan every day, so there was no way he could keep his job and move to Sunny Park. He'd have to get a new job, and he was just starting to work his way up in the financial world. Deserting that all for California would not be a good way to pay off those debts.
And then, there would be living next door to Faith Constance. He wondered what Meg was thinking. Faith's parents had disapproved of Aunt Meg even more than Toby's had, and Faith fell right in line. She talked loudly about saving herself for marriage. She dressed in long skirts, and shirts with Peter Pan collars, not baring so much as an ankle or a collar bone, even in summer. Well, Faith would just say no, simple as that, rather than live in someplace like Sunny Park.
His phone rang. Unknown number, but he decided on a whim to answer it. He wasn't sure if he had Faith's number, for instance. They only saw each other every five years or so, even as kids.
"Hello?"
"Hi, Toby? This is Bill Goldstein. I don't know if you've had a chance to read your aunt's will or not."
"Uh, hello Mr. Goldstein. I can't say I read every word..."
"But you read the part that concerns you? And please, call me Bill. I want to assure you that the will is entirely legal, and the property is in good shape and furnished sufficiently for immediate occupancy. Did you have any questions about anything that I can help with?"
"Well, I don't know if I can, Mr., um, Bill. Live there, I mean."
"Ah, you object to your aunt's lifestyle. She anticipated that one of you might -"
"No, it's not that. I just don't know that I can afford it." He paused. "How much would the interest on that trust amount to, anyway?"
"At current rates, and I checked today, it should provide you with an income of approximately two hundred forty-seven thousand dollars
per annum
."
He blinked. Aunt Meg must have been loaded. Two trusts like that. Half a million a year. And more than he earned going into Manhattan, not to mention the rent he was currently paying. It looked like a no-brainer. It was a no-brainer. "Well, then, I guess I'm moving to Sunny Park."
Bill laughed. "Welcome, neighbor! I'll have some other documents for you to sign sent to arrive tomorrow, agreeing to the by-laws of the community, and all that. Any question about those?"
"No, I'm sure it'll be fine." For a quarter of a million dollars a year, and no rent, he could stand to have a community dictate what color his trim could be painted.
"Right. Well, read them carefully, even though they are wordy, and then let me know when you're coming, so we'll have someone meet you at the airport. It'll be great to have a nephew and niece of Maggie's around the place."
"Great. I'll do that. Wait, have you already called Faith Constance?"
"No, she's next."
"Okay. Well, I'll let you get on with it. I look forward to meeting you in person."
For a quarter of a million, even Faith might decide that it was worth living in Sunny Park. Hmm.
The next day, the documents arrived. At first, he barely read them, skimming through and initialing. He'd figure out what the restrictions were once he got there, how strange could they be?
Then a line caught his eye.
STI testing is mandatory every two weeks.
It wasn't long until he found another interesting passage.
Members agree that they consent to witness nudity, and sexual acts, without objection and without legal recourse, and acknowledge that they fully expect to witness same.
He blinked and started reading more closely.