We left my boss's party, me sober and my wife Sandra solidly drunk: I was driving us home. She was talking loudly as I opened the door for her, and I could hear her continuing on as I walked around the back of my red sedan.
But when I opened my door, I realized that my Massachussetts-born wife was talking in an exaggerated Southern accent.
"What are you doing?" I asked.
"What do you mean?" she slurred with a serious twang.
"You're talking in a Southern accent."
"No, I'm not."
"Yes you are."
"I am? I don't know why I am."
"Well, it's no big deal," I said as I put the car into drive. "In fact, it's kind of hot. It's triggering all these latent fantasies about Southern girls."
"Oh, yeah?" she drawled. "What do they do that I don't?"
She had a point. My wife had never disappointed me sexually. She loved sucking cock, she'd do any position, she could have multiple orgasms in a row, and she had a nice collection of lingerie that she was happy to put on display. I never got tired of fucking her, and with her coppery curls, green eyes, and 5' 3" hourglass body, I never got tired of looking at her.
Still, I couldn't help but be tempted by her inebriated state and her odd new accent.
"Well, I imagine them as easy, loose, and so horny that they'd start acting naughty even while I'm driving, just to make sure I'm hot and hard by the time we get home."
"I can be naughty, and I am actually kind of horny," she continued to say in her affected tone.
"Yeah? Well, why don't you feel up those gorgeous tits of yours if you're such a horny Southern girl?"
"I don't know. On the road like this?"
"See. Southern girls wouldn't care about that. Besides, it's dark. Even if there were cars here, they couldn't see in."
"Hm, that's a good point." She giggled and started to squeeze her 36D breasts, kneading them through her sweater. I glanced over, and she asked, "Like this?"
"Yeah, that's hot, honey. Do you like that?" I could only sneak glances, since I had to keep my eyes on the road, but I was getting hard watching her feel herself up.
"Oh, yeah. Is this how you picture things in your little fantasies?"
I decided to push it further. "Well, actually, in my fantasy the girl wouldn't be wearing a bra."
"Oh, I should've known," she laughed, continuing the Southern accent that had come from some deep part of her drunken subconscious.
She kept working over her breasts for another 10 seconds or so, humming loudly to herself: I'm sure she thought she was being quiet. Then she sat forward, reached her hands behind her back, and unhooked her bra. She pulled an arm into her black cardigan, wiggled it up and down to remove the bra strap, and then repeated the process with the other arm. She reached under her seater and pulled the lacy green bra out.
"Yee haw!" she yelled as she waved it in front of me.
Holy shit, I thought. She's really going for it.
"Oh, my little Southern belle, you are incredible. Let's see you play with your tits now that I can really see them move. And keep talking in that sexy little accent of yours. Tell me how you feel." She reclined her seat a bit, and put her hands to work again.
"Ooh, my breasts feel so good. I can really squeeze them together now without my bra in the way. My nipples are getting so hard they're getting scratched by the wool." I glanced over, and saw her mounds squishing back and forth under her sweater.
God, I was so hard. And we still had forty-five minutes left in our drive . "Poor baby. You know how Southern girls avoid the scratching?"
"No. How? I want to be a good Southern girl for you."
"Well, they don't close as many buttons as you do. Maybe you should undo a couple of buttons and loosen up your sweater."
"I see what you're trying to do," she slurred, "and I like it."
She fumbled one button open: Her coordination wasn't great. Then she worked on the second one, leaving a fair amount of cleavage visible.
"You've got to do more than that if you're going to act like the Southern girl of my fantasy."