Shane had fallen asleep confused, feeling emasculated, listening to crickets. The trip to Derrick's parent's lake house had not gone so well for him. This was their last night before leaving this Podunk northern Wisconsin place, this place about which Derrick and his friend Dennis kept coolly commenting "so many memories." They would raise the remark when the conversation turned to something mundane, like the toilet clogging, or taboo, like the KKK presence in the area, and make everybody laugh, especially the girls. Especially Nadine. Shane's Nadine. The one who had made out with him days before the trip, and was now ignoring him, like everybody else. Shane listened to the crickets and relished the reality that at least they were way out in the woods and there were no street or car lights to keep him up; and told himself, one more day of this shit; and slept.
He woke up to different sounds entirely. He first heard footsteps down the hall, going past his room. A rap on the door of the room next to his -- Dennis' room. The door opening and several voices whispering. Dennis' and -- could it be? Was it really? -- Nadine's. You're just making that up because you're sad and pissed off at her, Shane told himself and turned around and focused on sleep. His focus was broken soon after by an,
Uhhah!
That was the best spelling approximation he would later come up with, pouring his emotions out into his journal, of the sharp, breathy female sound he heard through the wall.
Could be anything, anybody, he told himself. Why do you assume it's Nadine?
But who was he kidding? Of course, it was Nadine.
Shane lay on his back and listened some more. Just to be sure he wasn't hallucinating.
Several minutes later, another -- Uhhhhah!
This vocal sound -- which, having fumbled through sex with only one girl in his nineteen years, Shane had never really heard outside of porn -- came more frequently over the next few minutes. It became gradually sharper at the end.
Uhhah... uhhhhhahh...uhhhahhh!
He could no longer pretend it was his imagination, or divorce the sound from the source. It was Nadine, his cool, understanding red haired friend, then his crush, in his first year of college. It was her in a headspace he'd never heard or seen her in, though he very much wanted to.
And the other person involved in the experience was Dennis.
There were no other sounds. Just Nadine's voice. Shane thought it was peculiar. Where was the sound of the bed moving? Or Dennis making sounds? These noises had been omnipresent that one time he'd overheard his roommate and his roommate's girlfriend fucking. Was she just sitting there masturbating while Dennis watched (this was a fetish some people had, he knew)?
Or -- and he felt stupid for not thinking of this until Nadine was moaning steadily, in breath-induced waves of sound -- she was simply getting eaten out.
Shane loved a good blowjob (he'd received two) but still had trouble with the idea of reciprocating. The idea of putting your face down there felt icky to him. His friend had told him a story about his girlfriend farting in his face. Shane knew that girls apparently liked it, but he wasn't there quite yet.
Nadine made a couple lower, slower sounds,
Aaaahhhhh H-h-h-aaaaahhhhh
Followed by a short -- Uh!
Followed by something -- a sheet moving, or Dennis sitting up. Nadine laughed, unprompted. Dennis said,
"You taste immaculate."
Nadine laughed louder and said,
"Oh my God. Stop."
Shane thought, I guess I'd really better learn how to eat pussy.
He wondered if that might be it. Maybe that was the end of their sexual session. He'd hear Nadine walk back to her room in no time. It took him a moment to realize that his eyes were open and another moment to feel the self-hatred creep in.
When he and Nadine had arrived at the house, Derrick had come outside to meet them, and brought them inside to meet everybody else. Alyssa, Derrick's sister was on a call for work on her laptop. Candace, a mousy girl who was apparently Derrick's ex-girlfriend, but there anyway, had just come in from a swim. Dennis was laying on the couch, an open book on his chest. It was unclear if he was sleeping or not. A snake tattoo ran up his arm, which draped over the pillow.
When Shane thought about it, Nadine had seemed interested in Dennis even at that moment. She glanced at him for a while and said,
"Oh. Don't want to wake up this dude."
Derrick shook his head.
"I don't think he's even asleep," he said. "So anyway, upstairs are --"
"Hey," came Dennis' voice from the couch. "Dennis." He waved to them without opening his eyes or shifting his position.
Shane returned the hello and sat in an armchair. Nadine moved to the stairs with her duffel bag. Dennis opened his eyes and watched her move around the couch. It looked like Nadine saw him doing it.
"I'll go put my crap upstairs," she said.
"That's a beautiful necklace," Dennis said.
Nadine touched her thin silver necklace, as if remembering that it was there. Shane felt embarrassed for the first time that weekend; he had never even noticed it.
"Um, yeah, it's pretty nice isn't it?" She said flatly.
"A few months ago I had sex with this girl who wore a similar necklace," he said. "It didn't look right on her. Her neck was too wide for it. I had to stop before we were finished because I looked down at her neck and was like, wait, you're still wearing that awkward thing? Is it supposed to keep your head from falling off or something?" He looked to Derrick and Shane as he said this last bit, and laughed, and Derrick laughed with him. Dennis returned his gaze to Nadine, who had not yet gone upstairs.
"On you, it's very becoming, I've gotta say."
Nadine stood still for a moment and said, in what Shane thought was a sarcastic voice,
"Yeah...thanks, buddy."
"You're welcome." Dennis kept his gaze on her.
Shane wondered who the hell said these kinds of things immediately upon meeting someone, and who the hell had a massive tattoo of a black snake, and who the hell this guy, Dennis, thought he was.
It was another couple minutes before Shane realized he was wrong; it wasn't just oral sex. He heard the repositioning of bodies, the shifting of sheets, the low, soft smack of what sounded like lips parting. Dennis muttered something too low for him to make out. Nadine hummed,
"Mmhmm."
