We did get to the club, and I'm not sure what I was expecting, but it turned out... well, I'll just tell you.
We arrived before ten so that we wouldn't have to queue. The place was pretty empty. It normally started to jump after about 10:30 or 11pm. Erika said it didn't matter because we could have a few drinks. (Of course, we were drinking on my credit card, so the outrageous prices didn't concern her). We found a place at the bar and Erika ordered two vodkas. Each.
Erika is such a glamour. Sitting next to her I was so obviously the plain friend. The second-best option. She shone like a beacon, all legs and teeth and boobs, and her eye makeup was amazing, with highlighted mascara that made her eyes sparkle like a fairytale princess. (I didn't immediately remember that, of course, the makeup had been purchased on our shopping spree with, yep, my credit card). By comparison I was just very plain. Anyone looking at us would know that I was lucky to be out with her, because she's so pretty she gets a lot of attention. Her castoffs are better than anything I would attract, for sure.
She was also bubbly and engaging. She had already started a flirty conversation with the barman, and had floated off down the other end of the bar to chatter with him. I was lost in my thoughts, just waiting for Erika's magical sphere of attractiveness to return, remembering what a wallflower I had been at school dances, when a male voice broke into my daydream.
"Uh, hi! Can I sit here?" he said, in a sort of charmingly awkward way.
"Oh, sure," I responded, indicating Erika's empty seat. There was another empty seat on the other side of it. I presumed his girlfriend would be along any moment.
"It's... kinda quiet. I guess things will heat up later?" he asked, for some reason.
"Oh, I guess so," I responded. "Probably in an hour or so." I tried to remember where I had been up to in my daydream.
Presently, he cleared his throat and said, "Look I'm not really very good at this, but if you wanted to maybe dance later or whatever, I'd really like to join you..." He looked like he immediately regretted saying this, for some reason. Perhaps his girlfriend would have strong feelings about it!
"Oh," I said, uncertain how to proceed. "I guess. Are you... here with anyone?"
"My buddy had trouble with the train. He'll be along in a while. But until then it's just me. You?" He was slightly more confident now.
"My friend is over there chatting up the barman. She's the really pretty one in the pink dress and cat's ears." I made sure to point her out carefully. "I might be able to get you a dance with her, too," I offered, hoping to impress him that I could arrange such a thing.
He seemed embarrassed, "Oh, yeah, " he unconvincingly muttered. "Ok, I guess. We could all dance together, maybe?"
I didn't know what the problem was. Was he afraid she was out of his league? He was pretty cute and seemed like a really nice guy. I didn't know where the reluctance was coming from. "It's a date," I promised. He smiled widely before trying to temper his response a little.
We introduced ourselves. He was a Steve. He didn't look like a Steve, more of a Jeremy, I thought. But it wasn't really up to me. He was Steve. We chatted for several minutes, and he seemed preoccupied the whole time. Finally he blurted, "Would you like to dance now? I know there's noone out there, but somebody has to start the party..." He held his breath.
Erika was really taking her time. I checked, and she was still fully engaged in conversation with the barman, and now another guy as well.
"Do you want me to see if Erika's up for it?" I asked.
Steve's face fell a little, before he replied quickly, "We've got all night. Let her talk. How about it? Are you up for it?"
Why would he want to dance with me? I guessed it was probably a pretty good play to get Erika's attention. He was starting off easy with the plain friend, then he would upgrade later in the evening. Clever! Anyway, I figured I might as well enjoy the attention while it lasted. Soon enough, Erika would waft back over and eclipse me, but until then I could have a little dance.
I let him lead me out to the empty dance floor, and there Steve and I started dancing together. He really did pay attention to me, which was good of him, I thought. It's all fair play, and he was playing it really well. He would have a good chance with Erika.
Eventually, Erika managed to come and find us on the dance floor. By then our courage had motivated several other people to come up and dance. Erika bopped over to us and said, "Who's this?" as we all gyrated to the beat.
"Steve," I responded, shouting to be heard over the music. I turned to him and said, "Erika", by way of introduction. He nodded politely to her. Wow. Very cool play, there!
We continued dancing, and he made no move for Erika. She didn't seem to worry about it. She was more concerned with dancing in ever more suggestive ways with me, which was fun, but as it progressed I did worry about embarrassing Steve a bit.
For his part, he didn't seem to mind. But he was very cleverly paying his attention to me, and remaining polite with Erika. It was probably some clever ploy, but I thought he was probably missing his chance by this stage. Erika was using me as a sexual foil, moving erotically around me, and making me do likewise. We entwined in ever more sensual and suggestive ways, and I would have thought Steve would have figured out he should make his move on her.
Finally, Steve's buddy Wayne did turn up. I checked him out, because I knew what would happen. Wayne was the plain one of that duo, so Steve and Erika were naturally going to pair off, and Wayne would get me as a consolation prize. Erika would expect me to do whatever it takes to keep him happy, so that she could enjoy her time with Steve. And that's exactly what I would do.
Presently, I put my hands up in a surrender motion, and excused myself, indicating I was pooped and needed a rest. To my shock, Steve moved to come with me off the dance floor. I started to wonder if he got it at all. This was his chance. I was out of the way. This was his cue to send Wayne with me to buy me a drink, so he could move on Erika!
But no, he wanted to come along and leave Wayne with Erika. It was baffling. Anyway, as he had said earlier, we did have all night, so I figured we could just let it play out.
"YOU'RE SO HOT, YOU AND ERIKA DANCING LIKE THAT. IT'S INCREDIBLE," he shouted to be heard over the loud music as we threaded a path through the now crowded club towards the bar.
He was really good at this. He said that I was hot, which was really nice of him. But at some stage he was going to need to pivot if he wanted to make his move, and talking like that now could make it awkward later. I mean, what if I took it seriously? Rather than try to speak over the din, I just smiled warmly over my shoulder at him.
At the bar it was just a few decibels quieter. We could communicate by leaning close to one another's ears. "So Wayne seems nice," I said, which was rubbish. We hadn't said two words to one another, because the dance floor was throbbing with music. Wayne actually seemed a bit shy, and possibly boring.
"We're good friends. From school," he replied, missing his cue to ask me about Erika.
"Erika is my housemate," I decided to help him out.
"Ah!" he nodded. Again failing to capitalize.
"Was that vodka you were drinking earlier? Can I get you another?" He really seemed lost. I was giving him every on-ramp into Erika's pants, and he was just driving right past them. It was weird.
"Sure, yes. Thank you," I said, wondering how to facilitate this game that he didn't seem to know how to play.
"You know," I said conspiratorially in his ear after he had ordered the drinks. "Vodka has the tendency to make me very, very uninhibited." I wanted him to know that I was going to be quite willing to occupy his friend while he and Erika made out.
Strangely, he seemed to freeze. His eyes shot open like I'd told him the planet was about to be destroyed, and he blushed deeply. I quickly apologized, "I'm sorry. I've made you uncomfortable!"
"Oh, no, no. I mean... well. Ok, yeah. But... well," he stumbled to a halt. I waited, searching his face to try to understand what he was saying. "You just... you caught me by surprise is all. Now I'm kicking myself for not saying something smooth in response. Instead I'm just blubbering. What a dickhead. I'm so sorry."
This was... not what I expected.