She Is A Scientist

June was, by all accounts, an odd duck. She had worked at the lab for four years at this point, but was not particularly close to anyone. She didn't talk about her social life, or her family, or much besides work. She had no social media presence to speak of, just a couple of accounts that existed to present her CV to a largely uncaring world.

She was, in short, a challenge. And May loved challenges. Which is why today June's normal solo lunch turned into a duet.

"Hello!" May said, radiating sunshine.

"Hello." June said, in a tone so flat you could build a deck on it.

"I'm May!"

"I know. You've worked here for fourteen weeks and three days." June said.

"I have! Wait, what?" May asked, as confusion displaced her natural smile.

"You've worked here for fourteen weeks and three days. It would be almost impossible for me to not know who you are."

"How do you know how long I've worked here?"

"You started on May first. It's August tenth. I just did the math. I've been here three years, nine months and twelve days."

"Right, but how did you know when I started?"

"I was here."

'And you remembered?"

"I remember most things."

"Crazy!"

May pointed to a man sitting alone eating a chicken sandwich.

"How about him?"

"Fourteen years, six months, and eight days."

"How many leap days?"

"Four."

"What day of the week was his first day?"

"Friday."

"That's amazing!"

"It's definitely odd. Who starts on a Friday?"

"No, that math trick. It's amazing!"

"It's not a trick. It's just math."

"Well I am amazed! What are you doing tonight?"

"I have a lego set that I am working on. I designed it myself."

"Would you like to go out for drinks tonight? As a girls night?" May asked.

"I don't know."

"It'll be fun!"

"It may be. But I don't know. I've never."

"Never what, gone out for drinks?"

"Never gone out after work. Never gone out for drinks. Never drank. So it may be fun, but I don't know that. I don't like to make claims without empirical evidence, you see."

"Then we'll make it an experiment. You and me, Holiday's at 6:30. You can come and research whether or not it is fun."

June sat for a second, thinking. Then she stuck out her hand as if making a deal.

"That makes sense. I will bring my notebook."

May took June's hand and shook it the only way she knew how, enthusiastically.

"You won't regret this."

"I may or may not. But I will try to stay unbiased until I see all the data."

May bounced back to her lab and set up. 'An experiment!', she thought. She was the sort of person who used exclamation points at all times, even in her internal monologue. It was this bubliness that let her make friends easily. And June seemed like she needed a friend. It was a core belief of hers that no one who was that good at math could be very happy.

May had hidden depths, but they mostly held more of the same.

______________________

Six thirty arrived and brought May with it. She breezed into Holiday's wearing a skirt that was a bit too small and cleavage that was a bit too big. She drew the eye like Margaret Keane. June was easy to find, as she had set up shop in a booth in the back corner of the bar. And she was wearing a lab coat.

"Hello!" May said. "I thought we couldn't take those out of the lab?"

"This is one of my home lab coats." June said. "I just feel more comfortable wearing them when I'm doing science."

"Right, science." May said as she slid into the booth next to June, leaving the other half empty. "What are we drinking?" She asked, pointing to June's cup."

"Water. I thought I should be the control group."

"You've never had any alcohol, right?"

"Yes."

"Well then your whole life up until today has been as the control group."

June pulled out her notebook and wrote with careful draftsmen's letters, all blocky and uniform.

"Noted." She said, "I did some research before coming here and think we should stick to one drink per interval, so that we know the exact amount of alcohol we consume. I will time us, of course. How much do you weigh?"

"One hundred and twenty seven pounds." May said. "And if I didn't know this was for science I'd be offended. What drink did you settle on in your research?"

"Vodka. 40 Proof. It should be trivial to track alcohol consumption."

May, who had experienced quite a bit more of life than June, grimaced.

"I follow your logic. But taking shots of straight vodka is a short trip to a long night. Maybe a rum and coke or something mixed. I'd hate for your first time to end up stuck to a toilet."

"Do you think we can get consistent numbers? June asked.

"I do." said May. She reached into her purse and pulled out a couple of graduated beakers. June smiled.

"What?" said May. "I work in labs. I know my stuff."

When the waitress came they each ordered a coke and a shot of rum. May carefully prepared the drinks while June took notes. When both were done May raised her beaker.

"To friendship and scholarship." May said.

June, who had at least heard of a toast, raised her beaker.

"To friendship and scholarship."

May took a sip of her drink. June downed hers in one long pull, then made a note.

"Jeez." May said. "You may want to pace yourself."

"Time is a confounding variable." June said. "I'll have another in half an hour."

May couldn't fault her logic. Her wisdom, certainly. But the logic was sound.

The conversation moved freely, somewhat to May's surprise. June was interesting, even if she herself didn't particularly think so. She'd been a math prodigy, then a science prodigy, and now was doing high level research for agribusiness while completing her doctorate. She was an isolating sort of smart. When she talked about her studies she seemed relaxed and comfortable, as if she were the master of all she surveyed. Which, given her achievement thus far, she probably was.

May was not quite on her level, but was able to follow along. After one hour and the third drink May waved her hand.

"Enough about work. What do you do in your free time? Do you have a boyfriend? A girlfriend? A cat? A dog?."

"June thought for a second, the rapid fire of her neurons dulled a bit by alcohol and corn syrup.

"In order. I read journals. No. No. No. No."

"So you come to work and work, then you go home and work. Then you sleep eight hours and come back to work?"

"Technically I only sleep three hours a night. I retrained my sleep habits so I could get more work done. But you say this like it's a bad thing. Time I spend not working is time that will be lost to the scientific community.

June was one hundred percent sincere, May noted. When she said it it wasn't ego. It was fact.

"You're going to burn out." May said. "Maybe not right away, but at some point you're going to crash, and you'll have a lot of catching up to do."

June pulled out her notebook and reread her notes from the night. She did some calculations in the margins and then put down her pen.

"You may be right. Despite the minimal progress I will make on my primary research tonight, the numbers indicate that I am seeing a net benefit from this time I have spent with you. Might we do it again? I'd love to revisit this hypothesis."

"Of course!" May said. "But now you have to ask about me. I can't just be hounding you."

"Ok. What do you do in your free time? Do you have a boyfriend? Girlfriend? Dog? Cat?"

"In order. Dance, soccer, read, bowl. I do, and he's awesome and lives with me. Not currently but I've certainly drank from that well. No. And yes, a tabby named Mendeleev, who I just call Lev."

June took careful notes.

"Both boys and women? How do you choose?" From anyone else this would be a come on. From June it was pure intellectual curiosity.

"They sort of choose for you. Something clicks and you want a bit more of their time, And then a bit more of something else." May giggled. While she did in fact know how to party she was a tiny person and had a proportional tolerance to alcohol.

June, who was of a similar size with no tolerance whatsoever, found herself laughing and did not totally understand why. 'Something else' was presumably sex related. She added a footnote to the bottom of the page.

"So you have a boyfriend? Why did you choose him? Do you have compatible goals? Is he successful? Does he also work in the sciences?"

"He's medium smart. He's a contractor. And I picked him because he is hot as fuck and is packing."

"Packing?" June asked, her pen still on the page.

"Packing heat?" June's face bore the blank stare of incomprehension. Which was probably the first time such an expression had visited her face.

"No? How about hung? A human tripod?" May gathered up her words before slurring them out. "What I'm saying is he has a huge cock. Huge."

"Oh." said June.

"Like, what's the biggest cock you've ever seen?"

"I've never seen one."

"What?" May waved her drink in the air as she spoke. "Like ever?"

"That is correct. I have never ever seen a cock."

"You poor girl." May said. "We should fix that. Wait! Do you want to see one?"

"I suppose so. I mean, it's definitely something I should do. It is an important part of the reproductive process."

"Oh honey," May said. "I am not trying to reproduce. But I will hook you up. Up. Up."

May shook her head.

"Hook you up. I will show you a cock. Tomorrow. My place. After work."

"Should I bring anything besides my notebook?"

"A bottle of wine would be nice."

The night went on for another hour or so before both summoned ubers. The promise was not mentioned again, but instead floated over the table just out of sight, but not out of mind.

---------------------

June arrived at 6:25. She sat in her car for four minutes, then grabbed the wine and walked to the door. She then looked at the watch until the time flipped. She pushed the doorbell.

May, who had seen June work, was waiting on the other side of the door and swung it open.

"Hello June! Welcome to our place."

"Thank you. I brought wine." June lifted the grocery store carrier, which held three bottles, one red, one white, and the last a rose.

"I don't know anything about wine, so I brought one of each."

"That is thoughtful! We can pair it with the pizzas." May said. "Do you eat pizza! I didn't think to ask."

"I have eaten pizza." May said. "So yes."

"Well we have cheese and pepperoni. I'll match the white with the cheese, and the red to the pep. The rose may show up for dessert. Follow me!"

June dutifully followed May through the tiny living room, to the tiny kitchen. Filling the kitchen to an impressive degree was Luke.

"June, this is Luke. My boyfriend. Luke, this is June."

"Hello Luke. May told me that you have a very big--"

"Appetite! He has a big appetite. Huge. Loves to eat." May interrupted.

"I am pretty hungry," Luke said, as he pulled a slice of pepperoni onto a paper plate. May busied herself filling small plastic cups with white and red wine.

"I have nine hundred calories left today." June said. "So I should be able to do two slices and three glasses."

"Are you on a diet?" Luke asked.

"No. I just track everything I eat. I have to hit a certain minimum to have enough energy for the day."

"Right. That's a thing." Luke said. He grabbed a glass of red and finished it, then refilled it.

"So did you find the place Ok?" May asked.

"Yes." June said. "It was not hard to find. Did your results come back from the lab today?"

"Yes! They looked surprisingly good. Which is nice, because I feel like I need to get something in a publishable state"

Luke sat back in his chair as the women talked shop. He'd occasionally nod when expected to. Or throw in a 'huh' when the moment called for it. But for the most part he mixed excessive amounts of pizza with even more excessive amounts of wine.

It was a pleasant way to spend a day.

After the dining and drinks were done June excused herself to the restroom.

May turned to Luke.

"I may not have told you everything about tonight."

"What, like that you guys are just going to talk about work? It's fine. I'll watch a game in the bedroom. You guys don't have to stop on account of me"

"No. I, um, promised her that she could see your dick."

"Pardon?" Luke asked. An immediate sobriety chased away the ghosts of a four dollar cabernet.

"Your dick. We were talking, and she's super smart but super naive, and she'd never seen one. So I volunteered yours."

"You don't speak for my dick."

"I know. I know. I wasn't sure what came over me. I was a bit drunk, and it was a problem I could solve, and it's stupid. You don't have to show her your dick. You should not show her your dick. Do not show her your dick."

"See, you're telling my dick what to do again. Why don't you try asking my dick what it wants to do."

May gave him a guilty grin, then dropped to her knees. She ran her finger along the outside of his jeans, tracing the line of his cock behind the denim, feeling it swell and stiffen.

She looked up into his eyes.

"It's waiting," he said.

She looked at the stretching python.

"Dear Luke's dick," she said, "Would you mind doing me a tiny favor? My friend has never met a dick before and I thought she might want to meet you. You don't have to do anything. Just show up for a minute. Then you can go back into those tight jeans and spend the rest of the night wondering what I'm going to do to you."

She leaned in, her lips almost pressed against the jeans. "Would that be Ok?" she whispered.

It surged under the fabric, until it reached her lips.

"Well, I think you have your answer." Luke said. "There will, of course, be a price to pay."

"Well, nothing worth anything is free." May said.

_______________

It was an odd tableau. June, seated, with her pen poised about her notebook, all wrapped up in a lab coat. Across from her stood Luke, with May seated at his side. Luke looked a bit embarrassed. May did not seem the slightest bit out of sorts.

"All right." said May. "I'll be pulling off his pants first."

She undid his belt and pulled it from around his waist, then rolled it up and lay it on the carpet. She then undid the button at the top of his jeans and unzipped his fly.

"You'll get an idea of what we're working with through his underwear." May said. "Please hold your applause."

"That's not a very scientific thing to say." Luke said.

"I'll allow it,"said June, her eyes fixated on Luke.

May carefully pulled Luke's jeans down to his ankles, making sure that his boxers did not shift in the slightest. She would hate to ruin the experiment by rushing the reveal.

Luke stepped out of his jeans and May folded them up, then laid them by the belt. Then she stood up and walked behind Luke. She placed her hand on either side of his boxers and then looked up at June.

"Are you ready Luke?"

"Yes."

"June?"

"Yes."

She slid the boxers down slowly, letting the carefully trimmed thatch of hair show itself, then the thick root. They slid down more, revealing the tops of his legs and a bit more length. And they continued down, down,down, until they passed the head of his dick on their way to the floor.

Luke carefully stepped out of them, but May did not pick them up.

"Is it what you expected?" May asked, her eyes on June. Luke was staring at the ceiling unsure exactly where would be a safe place to look.

"You said it was big. I lack context, but it certainly seems to be a good size." June said, as she carefully sketched in her book.

"Oh, it gets bigger." May said.

"Well I'd like to see that." June said.

"Honey?" May asked.

"Well, I am pretty sure that was not the agreement--"

May whispered in his ear.

"But I am flexible." Luke said, his eyes focusing on a crack overhead.

May's hands snaked around Luke, one working its way under his balls, the other wrapping around the shaft. Luke shivered.

"It just needs some attention to reach its full potential," May said, as her hand started to move back and forth.

June nodded and scribbled something in her book. Luke took a deep breath and held it.

"You can see it's getting redder and swelling." May said. "In a minute or so the head will be a dark purple. If I do my job right you'll even see a bit of preejaculate at the tip. Or precum, if you want to call it that."

"Fascinating. Does he need you to get him excited?" June asked.

"On the right day a stiff breeze can get him up," May said. "But I would guess it's more fun with me. Am I right dear?" she said as she tightened her grip on the shaft.

"Yessss." Luke gasped, his legs buckling. "You definitely make it more fun."

May put her hands at her side. Luke's cock was pointed straight at June. balanced on its tip was a tiny dot of white.

"And there we go, A fully erect penis." May said. "You've now seen your first. Thoughts? Hypotheses? Questions?"

June had her pencil in her mouth and a thoughtful look on her face.

"It definitely seems big. I certainly can't imagine that it could fit in a woman, if I'm honest. Is your size a problem Luke?" June asked.

"It definitely feels like one today." Luke said, trying his best not to meet eyes.

"So then what do you do with it?" June asked.

"Well, first I assure you it will fit. You'd be surprised at what the human body is capable of. And you can do a lot of things. You can lick it, rub it, put it in your vagina, put it in your rectum, rub it against your chest. It is a pretty versatile tool."

"In your mouth? How does that work? I can't picture it."

"Luke honey? Can I?" May asked.

"Oh god yes." Luke said.

May turned Luke a quarter turn, then stood in front of him.

"There is no shortage of techniques, but I am going to run you through the basics. Ready?"

"Yes!" Luke said.

"I wasn't asking you." May said, pulling his cock down with a finger then letting it spring back up. "Your readiness could not be any more obvious."

"I think so." June said. "This is a bit more than expected."

"The best discoveries usually are! We'll start by focusing on the head. Some guys get really twitchy about that. Luke does not."

May leaned in and laid a warm up lick on the head, cleaning off the precum that had beaded at the tip. She dragged the tip of her tongue across the rim. Luke shuddered in response.

She licked her lips, then kissed the tip. Her mouth opened to take it in, letting the head pop between her lips. She let in an inch, then slowly pulled back, her lips dragging along. Her eyes flicked to June, who was leaning forward in her chair, pen and paper forgotten.

Had she not had a great deal of cock in her mouth May might have smiled. Instead she leaned forward and took a couple inches in. She moved without any urgency, settling in for a marathon, not a sprint. Her tongue trailed her lips as she pulled back, following the ridges and teasing.

Luke's eyes were closed, his hands balled into fists. His breathing was slow and steady, trying to forestall the inevitable result of May's particular form of genius.

May leaned back, a single strand of saliva all that connected her to the massive erection. She broked it with a practiced brush of her hand.

"You'll want to pay particular attention to this part," she said, in the practiced tone of one who knows what is going to be on the test.

May took a deep breath and lined herself up. And then May, with the sexiest of magic tricks, made a whole cock disappear. It was so fast that even with the warning June might have missed it. But in one single graceful action May took the entirety of luke within her throat, her lips pressed to skin. She worked back and forth for nearly a minute, never exposing more than an inch of the root.

When she finally came up for air Luke staggered back and lowered himself into a chair.