Note: This story takes place immediately following the last chapter. I'd like to thank David for kindly helping me edit the story. And of course a special thanks to all of the readers for their time, patience and feedback. I hope you enjoy this chapter and would love to hear your thoughts.
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"Shannon, what did you lie to me about?" I asked.
"Everything." She said as she ran out of the room, doing her best to keep her sobs from disturbing the ceremony.
I quickly chased after her to find out what was really going on. She flew through the bar area and out the back doors to the patio. I found her with her elbows leaning against the railing of the balcony overlooking the beautiful vineyard.
I didn't know what to say. I gently placed my hand on her upper back and could feel her body softly shaking from crying. "Shannon, what is going on?" I asked. "You know you can tell me anything..." I added hoping that might get her to open up.
"You won't like I have to say." She said quietly.
"That may be true. Doesn't mean I don't want to hear it."
"Jason, I haven't been completely honest with you."
I could tell this was incredibly hard for her, so I let her speak without interrupting.
"The other week you were trying to find out if something was going on between Mark and me. I told you we met up a few times to sort out the details for their honeymoon." She said looking off into the distance.
I nodded quietly as I looked at the neatly patterned row of grapes that stretched to the horizon.
"Well that was only part of it." She began to cry again and I rubbed her neck. This was hard for us both.
"We've actually been meeting up for a while now."
"Oh?" I said curiously but wasn't really surprised.
She nodded. "I guess it all started when we went on that camping trip together."
My eyebrows rose. I had almost forgotten about that.
"No, fuck that! This all started when you moved in with Ashley." She said, gaining a little courage. "Do you remember how we were months before you moved in with her? We were so happy. It was hard to spend time apart."
I nodded thinking back to the honeymoon phase of our relationship.
"Then you moved in with her." She said. "Suddenly I had to compete for your time. For your attention."
I looked downward taking this in.
"Do you know how shitty that feels...to compete for your own boyfriend's time with another girl?" She asked rhetorically. "As you grew more distant, I tried to sort it all out in my head." And then she added, "but I still wanted to be with you."
This was starting to make me feel really sad and guilty. She was completely right.
"When you suggested we all go camping to get to know each other I was hesitant. But I thought I'd give it a chance for you. Ashley clearly became an important friend to you, and I owed it to you to try to be friends with her."
She wiped away a tear and continued. "Ashley and Mark were so nice when I met them. So welcoming. I thought we could all be great friends. At first."
She took a deep sigh. "But I saw the way you looked at her. And I saw the way you looked at Mark with envy. I felt invisible."
My natural reaction would be to jump in and tell her that's not true. But it was. I let her continue without saying a word.
"And then...and THEN...for some unknown reason you decided to pee on the campfire in front of everyone." She said with a laugh, barely believing it happened. "I tried to see the humor in it. I tried to appreciate the fact that you were drinking and we're all adults and maybe it was just a stupid joke. I wanted to believe it was no big deal. But it was. It was a huge deal. And I'm not talking about your stupid cock!" She said letting out a little anger.
"What possible reason could you have had for doing that? All I could think about was the fact that you wanted to show Ashley your penis. Something I thought only I got to see."
She shook her head and continued. "But then a worse thought crept into my head. What if that wasn't the first time she saw it? You had been living together with her for a while. Maybe you've both seen each other naked. I had no idea if that was true, but that's all I could think about." She tried to calm down and gain her composure.
"I was ready to leave the campsite immediately, but had no way to get out of there. I certainly wasn't going to ask to borrow your car. So I took a long walk the next day just as the sun was rising. I decided a warm relaxing shower might help clear my mind."
Oh god the shower. I thought about that often and wondered if she'd finally tell me the truth about what happened. Would I even want to know?
"Ohhh that shower..." She said softly clearly replaying the scene in her head.
"Shannon, what on earth happened in the shower?" I asked breaking my silence for the first time in several minutes. I couldn't help myself. My curiosity had been weighing on me for months about that moment.
"A lot." She said and added, "But probably not what you think."
She smiled for the first time during this whole conversation. "It's not as important to know what happened as it is to know how it made me feel."
I was confused and a little frustrated. Would I ever know what happened? Did I even deserve to? "How did it make you feel?" I finally asked.
"A lot of things go through your mind when you're caught completely naked by someone you just met. In a situation like that I would have expected to feel vulnerable. Feel embarrassed. Feel scared. And I was. Believe me I was. But he was so kind. So cool. Something about how he apologized and tried to be a gentleman. I can't really explain it. But he made me feel like I was visible. Like I mattered and was appreciated. Like I was a person. I'm a fucking person, Jason! I haven't felt like that with you in months. Maybe even longer." She said now sad and angry again.
She was right. I really had no counter argument.
"Anyway, despite it being the most awkward situation of my life, we talked. We really connected."
I thought of how Ashley and I had bonded over awkward moments, and appreciated where Shannon was coming from.
"To be honest it felt good to connect with someone again. It felt amazing actually. Mark thought so, too."
I'll bet, I though to myself.
"We met up a few times after that to talk through what happened as neither one of us felt good about how we left the situation. More meet ups led to venting about problems in each of our relationships. But what made it so satisfying was that we never dwelled on what was wrong in our relationships. We usually forgot about whatever was bothering us after we chatted. That was how we grew close over time."
I was feeling a little sick to my stomach hearing all of this. But it was deserved. I deserved this and so much more.
"I'll spare you the rest, but we eventually got close. Too close. Mistakes were made. But I don't think either one of us really regretted it. And think that was why it continued to happen."
I could truly relate to that last point. Ashley and I both made several mistakes, but never truly did anything to stop it. Probably because we didn't want it to stop.
"What about the honeymoon planning? And the tickets to Paris? Was that all made up?" I asked.
"No that was real. It was a reason for us to meet up. The tickets are real. He purchased them." She said.
"So all that time while things were happening, you were still helping plan his honeymoon?" I asked.
"That was hard. It definitely was an awkward spot neither of us talked about." She paused. "Somehow I never thought he'd go through with the wedding." She said softly.
"Did you think he would leave her for you?" I blurted out.
She shrugged her shoulders. "Maybe. I'm not sure I was really thinking clearly either way."
She looked down and added, "Doesn't really matter now. He made his choice."