About a month after I started my senior year in high school I got this note to see Nurse Stallings right after school. I had swim practice that day, but the note seemed pretty insistent, so I showed up at exactly 3:30.
The last time I was in the nurse's office was like two years ago, when I was 16, because I twisted my ankle running. There is an outer waiting area and then another office where you go to get examined. When I walked into the waiting area, Nurse Stallings was writing something on a clipboard. I just stood there shuffling around until I caught her attention.
"Oh yes," she said, "Bryan Atkins."
She disappeared for a second and then came back with a file. "You haven't turned in a physical exam form."
I was supposed to get checked out three weeks ago before school started, but I got the flu so I skipped it. I thought it was kind of funny then - I'm not going to doctor because I'm sick. Well she didn't think it was funny.
"Mr. Atkins, you're not even supposed to be going to practice without an exam," she said. "It's state law."
"Yeah well..."
"If you want to keep working out with the team I'll need to examine you right away."
I wasn't really thrilled with the thought of being checked out by Nurse Stallings, but I couldn't keep skipping practices either.
"Now?" I said.
"Yes, now." She led me through one of those little half doors into the office and area and motioned me to go into the examining room. "Strip down to your underwear," she said, "and sit on the table. I'll be with you in a few minutes."
I walked into the room, laid my backpack on a chair, looked up and noticed Jennifer Lowry sitting there reading a book.
Jennifer Lowry was a senior last year. Slightly geeky, somewhat undeveloped, no date for the prom. The only reason I even knew her name is that she was always showing up at pep rallies and organizing school events last year. She has an equally geeky sister, Pamela, currently a sophomore who sometimes acts as a timer at our swim meets. So why was Jennifer sitting here in the examining room?
She put on her glasses. "Bryan?"
"Yeah. What are you doing here?"
"Oh I'm here for Student Shadow Day."
The local community college runs a Shadow Day, where the students can pick a job they're interested in and then find someone willing to "shadow" them (meaning: work alongside them) for the day.
"So you're interested in being a nurse?" I asked like I really cared.
"Yes, and Nurse Stallings is letting me shadow with her for the day."
"That's nice."
"Why are you here?" she asked.
"Physical exam," I shrugged. "They won't let me play without one."
"You're on the varsity baseball team and swim team, right," she said.
"Yeah -- and track.."
Then Nurse Stallings opened the door. "Bryan, why are you still dressed?" Jennifer and I looked at eachother.
"Jennifer," Nurse Stallings said, "Bryan is here for a complete physical exam. This will be a good experience for you. As a nurse you will assist in many physical examinations for young males."
No one bothered to ask me how I felt about this. Being examined by this old crone was one thing, but having Jennifer, who was practically my age, seeing me in my underwear was slightly uncool.
OK, so now I was supposed to just casually take off my clothes. I started by removing my school jacket and draping it over a chair. Then I took off my running shoes and stuck them under the chair. I took off my white socks and rolled them into a ball and put them in one of the shoes. I removed my sweatshirt and tee underneath in one motion and put them in a pile over my school jacket. I could feel the air from a ceiling fan on my bare chest.
I loosened the belt on my pants and undid the top button. I looked up and could see Jennifer and Nurse Stallings standing there looking at me. Fuck it, I thought, the sooner I do this the sooner it will be over. I pulled my jeans down to the floor and stepped out of them. I put the pants on the pile of clothes and stood there wearing only my light blue Gap boxer-briefs. I tried to avoid eye contact with Jennifer who I think was staring at my crotch.
"Jennifer," Nurse Stallings said, "I'll let you weigh Bryan." I walked over and stepped onto the scale and Jennifer just stood there trying to figure it out. This was one of those gym scales where you had to balance the weights. I moved them myself while she watched and it came to 155 pounds. Nurse Stallings gave her a sheet, which had the words "Physical Exam-Male" at the top and I could see Jennifer making some marks on it.
After my weigh-in, I was told to get on the examining table. Nurse Stallings got this little flashlight and shined it in my eyes while I looked straight ahead. Then she had Jennifer do the same thing while she jotted something on the sheet. Then my ears were looked at. I was told that they could be cleaner, which made me feel like I was 5. Then I had to stick out my tongue and Nurse Stallings and Jennifer looked down my throat.
Nurse Stallings listened to my lungs with a (cold) stethoscope and then Jennifer did too, except that she dropped the stethoscope on the floor and they had to get a new one. When she was listening to my chest, I thought Jennifer's hand grazed one of my nipples. But maybe it was my imagination.
Then Nurse Stallings showed Jennifer how to take my blood pressure and heart rate. This took several minutes because she was so clumsy. "Your resting heartrate is 60," Nurse Stallings said. "That's very healthy." "You have a very athletic build, very little body fat," Nurse Stallings announced clinically.
"Bryan is on the varsity baseball and swim team," Jennifer said.
"And track."
"Yes," she added, "and track.."
"Now Bryan, lie flat on your back," Nurse Stallings said, thumping on my stomach. Then Jennifer felt around my stomach, which was just weird. Then I got back up again and with my legs dangling from the table, they tested my reflexes. I think Jennifer hit my knee like 15 times before she got it right.
Nurse Stallings then took Jennifer over by a desk in the corner and made some more marks on the form. I was still sitting on the exam table in my underwear, swinging my legs back and forth. Then she pointed to an item on the form and asked Jennifer something, but I couldn't quite make out. "Is it something I should observe?" Jennifer said. "Oh definitely," Nurse Stallings said, "it's a standard part of the exam." Jennifer looked over at me, then thought for a moment and nodded to Nurse Stallings.
"OK, Bryan," said Nurse Stallings, "could you please come over and stand up straight."
I hopped off the table and walked over to the two of them, Nurse Stallings who was almost my height in her white uniform and Jennifer who was a foot shorter than me.
"I'll need you to pull down your shorts for me," Nurse Stallings announced. Or at least that's what I thought she said, I couldn't quite believe it.
"I'm sorry, what?"
"Pull down your shorts," she said slowly. "We need to inspect your genitals." We?? So that's what they were whispering about. Again, no one bothers to ask me.
"Um, nurse..."
"Bryan," Nurse Stallings said with a trace of exasperation, "this is a standard part of the exam. And I think it will benefit Jennifer to see it for her future studies." I looked at Jennifer who had this like dreamy look in her eyes. But when our eyes met, she quickly looked away.
So what's the deal? I'm supposed to expose myself to this girl whose sister I see every day? Something about this was very wrong. I'm supposed to be the one looking at naked girls. They're not supposed to be inspecting me and checking me out.
"Well I mean, do I have to.. you know, in front of... you know..." I just stammered trying to think of something to say. "What I mean is, you know in front of... a girl..."
"Bryan," Nurse Stallings said firmly. "Jennifer is here to learn about being a nurse. Most nurses are women and most of the younger doctors are women also. So I suggest that you get used to being examined by females."
"But--"
"And a complete physical examination requires an inspection of your genitals." Nurse Stallings turned to Jennifer: "Jennifer, you'll find that high school boys can get very bashful."
Fuck.
I closed my eyes, pulled down my light blue Gap boxer-briefs to my knees, and stood there with my dick and balls hanging out for everyone to see. I could hear Jennifer inhale through her mouth.
"Bryan is circumcised," Nurse Stallings announced. "When a boy is circumcised, the foreskin is removed. You'll notice that the head of Bryan's penis is exposed." Jennifer nodded.
These two women are discussing my dick! Is Jennifer going to tell her geeky sister that she saw Bryan's dick? I mean we talk about girls' boobs constantly in the locker room. Is it possible that now girls will be talking about my cock in their locker room? This is just not right.
"If Bryan were uncircumcised, we would need to check under his foreskin. But that's not necessary for circumcised boys." Nurse Stallings jotted something down on the form - probably noting that my dick is cut. Great.
"Next we check for a hernia," said Nurse Stallings. "This is very important. A weakness like that could cause Bryan to hurt himself." Nurse Stallings then grabbed my balls and told me to turn my head and cough. I'm been through that drill before.
"Now you try it."
Jennifer hesitantly put her hand on my nuts. My dick twitched right in front of her; I couldn't help it.
"Please cough," she said trying to emulate the nurse.
"Turn your head and cough," Nurse Stallings corrected.
So we went through it again.
"Now we should take a closer look at Bryan's testicles," Nurse Stalling said. Great. I already wanted to crawl in a hole and die.
"Boys Bryan's age are prone to testicular cancer so its important that they perform a self-test on their testicles periodically." Can't she say "guys like Bryan"? "Boys" makes it sound like I'm a kid.
"Bryan," asked Nurse Stallings, "do you periodically check your testicles for a lump?" Oh God, does she have to ask this now?
"Um.. well.. sometimes.."
"See?" she said to Jennifer. "Boys don't check themselves out. So we should do it now while we have the opportunity." I guess the "opportunity" she's talking about is that my shorts are down to my knees and my dick and balls are dangling in front of me.
Nurse Stallings grabbed each ball gently but firmly and rolled it around in her fingers. "Nothing abnormal here," she said, and wrote something down.
"Your turn," she said to Jennifer.
