I had mentioned in a previous story, "Sext Messaging", that after I retired as a college professor, I had worked for a couple of years as a substitute teacher. Other than the type of encounter I mentioned in the previous story, I basically hated the job, and I am sure that anyone who has ever done substitute teaching feels the same way. Less than one-third of the students actually want to learn anything. Another third, who are on various forms of medication, are indifferent to anything, good or bad. And the last third, male and female, are people who, knowing you are "only" a substitute, will go out of their way to make your life as difficult as possible.
I decided I wanted to get out of the job, but I also wanted to be able to collect unemployment, so I didn't want to quit. I wanted to be terminated but in a way that would not prevent me from applying for unemployment.
I came up with what I thought would be a great idea. The idea was risky and probably would not work, but if it did work, it would be a lot of fun. It would require a couple of students who were very open-minded about sex and also had a little of the exhibitionist in them. After a year of substituting, I had come to the conclusion that most high school students of today were VERY open-minded about sex and regularly engaged in practices that I wouldn't even have THOUGHT about when I was in high school. So this idea might work after all.
The class I was substituting for was called "Health." Actually, about one-third of the class semester was devoted to sex education, but they couldn't call it that for fear of an angry mob of conservative Christians storming the school board, so they called it "Health." Mine was a long-term substitution since the regular teacher had undergone open-heart surgery for a leaking heart valve and would be out for about three months.
The high school had a very good football team, and the team had co-captains, Ray and Jerry. The school also had a cheerleading squad of very cute girls, and the squad also had co-captains, Barbara and Lisa. I suppose it was not unusual then that Ray and Jerry had as their steady girlfriends, Barbara and Lisa. I figured I might get the cooperation of one side by pretending I already had the cooperation of the other.
First I checked the records to determine their ages and luckily found that all of them were 18, two just barely. I called Ray over after class and asked if he and Barbara could come to my classroom after school, around 2:15. Then I spotted Jerry later in the hallway and asked him if he and Lisa could meet with me in my classroom after school, around 2:45. Although both young men were mystified by the request and thought perhaps they were in some kind of trouble, they both agreed.
Ray and Barbara showed up right on time. Ray was a tall and muscular athlete, and Barbara was short, about five-six, with curly brown hair, a pretty face, and a cute figure.
"Let me tell you why I called you here," I began, "Teenage pregnancies, as you know, have reached epidemic proportions in the United States. We all know that teens are going to engage in some kind of sex because it's natural to have the urge at that age. But teenagers need to know ways to keep from getting pregnant, and that's what the coming health classes are about: ways to enjoy yourself without running the risk of getting pregnant.
"There are a number of ways. The most common and probably the least satisfying to either partner is what you would commonly call "a handjob."
Barbara giggled and looked at Ray.
"The second and a lot more satisfying to both sides is oral sex..."
"A blowjob," Ray said and looked at Barbara. She smiled.
"Yes, but more than that. The boy ought to be willing to give as well as receive."
"See, Ray?" Barbara chastised.
"The third way is less commonly practiced and is called anal sex. Have either one of you tried that?"
Barbara shook her head. "But I know someone who has," she added.
"Lisa," Ray said, nodding.
Hmmmmm, interesting, I thought. "And finally, the last and best way to keep from getting pregnant is actual intercourse with the use of a condom."
They both nodded.
"Well, reading this to the class is one thing, telling them about it is another, but showing them is the most powerful lesson of all," I said. "And this is where you two come in. Obviously, you already are having sex, so I wondered if you would be willing to give the class a live demonstration of oral sex. Give and take, so to speak?"
"You're kidding," Ray said.
"No, I'm not kidding."
"Is that legal?" Lisa asked.
"It is if the teacher condones it," I lied. "And I do need to tell you that Jerry and Lisa have already agreed to giving a live demonstration of intercourse with the proper use of a condom."
"They have?" Barbara asked in surprise.
