It started as another late night of initial optimism, anticipation, but with that feeling of eventual frustration just around the corner. I had spent weeks of trawling through the thousands of ladies names that were in the various directories of ICU11 with just the occasional little victory when the quick message envelope would appear on my screen. Would this be an opening at last which may lead to more than just one hopeful q/message but to never be seen again. I thought things would change when I started my own website and they would have an opportunity to see that I wasn`t your usual net perv, that I had a brain as well as a body!!
I made a point of informing the potential ladies that I was from the Uk, and that I liked flirting and could maybe be playful with the right person. I made it clear I wanted to get to know the person and that we must click as a couple. I was willing to flirt with them and discuss any subjects as long as they were interesting and fun.
Cue..quick message from "luscious lisa" ... I click on my qm and there before my very eyes is a stunning woman about 30 years of age. She has written a small note saying "Hi..this is Lisa from California..I`m married with a husband with a similar illness to you and having looked at your website I think we may have a few things in common. If you are interested, please qm me back...x Lisa" IF I`M INTERESTED!!!! This last statement just stared at me from my computer screen. Wow..what a stunner..She obviously had a good quality cam and good lighting from the picture I was now studying. Lisa..who I had already fallen in complete lust with...was a strawberry blonde with long tumbling hair that fell over her semi naked shoulders.
She had gorgeous dark deep sexy eyes that were just arrowing in on me and making me go weak at the knees and affecting other parts of my anatomy...but more of that later..when I found my way down to her mouth...it was one of those that as a man you just want to lean over and kiss and enjoy the taste of her subtle shade of lipstick. In essence, she was a angel sent from heaven who for some reason was under this apprehension that she might find me ..A 43 year old married man with a long term illness called Angus who writes about his sex life/fantasies for the world to see..of INTEREST!!!
By now my mind was racing, my ICQ was flashing like a disco....I`m sorry but all you ICQ chatters will have to wait...in fact I need my concentration here..yes..off you go...I click the x on my ICQ and silence is restored. What am I going to reply with to keep this woman`s attention...dont be a dork Angus...play it cool...like this is a regular occurence..but not too cool, as often as you guys know...you get one qm to wet your appetite and then....yes ..nothing... Right Lisa, here we go...
"thanks for your qm Lisa...it was with double emotions that I received your message...first I`m sorry to hear about your hubby...would not wish my illness on anyone...(early sympathy...shows caring..) and secondly a delight to get a message from a very attractive lady ( dont go over the top yet Angus) I was pleased to hear that you had also taken the time to look at my site and therefore know a little about me and my passions in life. As I`m at a disadvantage there..perhaps you could tell me a little bit about yourself?" That should do Angus...you`ve given it your best shot...fingers crossed...I take about 10 shots of myself from my cam trying to get a so called best angle/lighting/expression to send with the message...that one will have to do...she will go offline if you take any longer I quickly think to myself...right ..off you go!!!
I wait for what seems forever....another prick teaser I think to myself...never mind it was nice dreaming for a while...reality check Angus...she is way above your league...then ..the green envelpoe is flashing...surely not...YES!! its from her. Oh my...she is gorgeous...that smile is so alluring..she is actually smiling at me.."Angus you are so sweet..you are so good with words...I can imagine myself in every story you create...you bring it all to life so that I feel what they feel...it is magical." Wow she loves my stories and she imagines herself as the women I make love to...this in itself is such a turn on...This stunning vision before me dreaming of being touched by me...I`m in a state of disbelief..I WISH!!!! I gaze into her picture again and my imagination starts to work overtime. I would love to run my fingers through her beautiful long hair...feeling the silkiness of the strands as I comb it from top to bottom. Her skin positively glows as the light catches the cheekbones and it seems to breathe before your very eyes.
Once again I must get my reply in quick as she is bound to be busy and you cant let this opportunity slip away Angus!! I stare into those sexy eyes and look for inspiration....I feel I can be a bit more bold this time as I know she will not be offended by my sexual suggestions. I need to know what particularly turns this woman on in my stories or in real life? Right, here we go..."Lisa..what fantasies do you have? what would you like me to write about next that would turn you on?" Well Angus..in for a penny, in for a pound as we say in Uk.
waste of time fella thinking I`m a gay.!! Ah but wait...another ...click...Yessss..lovely lisa, I can`t wait to see what you written!! That lovely smile again..oh and yes a little more than just her head...a nice top with an inviting glimpse of flesh nicely finished off with a lovely necklace...I can now see the length of her hair which is cascading over her shoulders and finishes level with the top of her bosom which disappears into the bottom of my screen.
"Angus..I`m not usually this forward but you bring out the sexual side of my feelings and I`m excited by that feeling. My fantasy, that has been on my mind for sometime, is to have a sexual experience online, where I am seduced by the words and visions of a sexy man. I see myself dressing up and preparing myself as I would do if I was going on a real date. I imagine this man watching my every move and being putty in his hands. I cannot resist his words of seduction..!!! There I`ve said it...what do you think of that Angus?"
What do I think?.....What do I think?....I keep repeating this statement in my head...Is this for real...wake up Angus...no...I`m here...wheyhey go for it Angus. I know its difficult, but I`m seeing Lisa in a completely different light...not what you think..!! but as a sensual woman who in a vulnerable way wants to experience the same as me...no need to be in awe of her ...she is just like me..!!! This is going to be so knockout.. "Well Lisa if thats what you want ..I`m your man and I`m so pleased you have selected me as your online lover." Her reply was equally encouraging.."I would love you to be my virtual lover Angus. I`ve gotta go now, but I will be dressed and ready for you on Friday evening if you come calling at 7.30pm..12.30am your time....will this be a suitable time for you?" My response was "I`m counting down the hours already Lisa. Until then lovely lady..xx Angus."
I have 2 days to plan my strategy and what I will wear on the night. I`ve waited months for this and now I can`t believe it is going to happen. For a man of my experience this should be just another first, but I am understandably excited as a married man, who has not been with another woman for 11 years, albeit a virtual one!!
Its THE night and I`m sitting here in front of my computer in anticipation of what`s to come. I`ve decided on my pale blue collarless shirt(lots of buttons to undo) and my dark blue Levi jeans with a 501 belt and button up flies. I have had a long relaxing bath and washed my hair, so I am a prepared as I can be. Logging onto the internet I feel a surge of adrenaline as the modem rings out. Now I`m into ICU and I wait to see Lisa`s name transfer to online. I take the opportunity to bring up her picture from the other nightand place it on my desktop. I casually scroll through the names on the directory without really acknowledging them as I usually do. If my heart was pumping fast ...it has just increased unmeasurably..her name has appeared like a beacon and I can`t wait to see what she is wearing and looks like tonight!!!
I click on her name and then connect...waiting..Ohhh my, there she is and WOW...she looks absolutely incredible. It is not initially apparent what is so different from the previous night but....she looks mmmmm. She types ia a "Hello Angus...you look good tonight...are you as nervous and excited as I am? " "Ohhh I am Lisa...you look so lovely..sexy tonight. I can`t see what your wearing yet, but I`m not complaining...let me enjoy looking at you as you are for now." I feel an immediate tingling sensation in my groin area as I say this.
