Seeing Each Other

I went to the park the next day, knowing I wouldn't normally see Jim then. But was still disappointed when I didn't. Or the next. I found I was looking though, at people, at men, more often than I had been before, which was almost never, and thinking, wondering. I found myself looking at myself, when I woke up, when I undressed for bed.

And I was lingering at the window if I caught sight of Sadie or Cotton. When before if I saw either I'd smile, walk past, now I found myself looking, glancing, thinking, wondering. Admiring my neighbour's strong firm body, envying her her husband, looking at his tight little ass, catching occasional glimpses of both of them, walking, passing, her breasts, his bobbling penis, her thick rhombus of pubic hair.

Their casual and comfortable nudity infected me. I found myself leaving my towel in my bedroom so I could walk naked and wet from the bathroom. The distance along my landing from one door to the other was precisely fifteen steps. It was the most erotic imaginary parade. Then one night, after putting Corrina to bed, after showering, I walked naked to my room to dry, I turned to pick out the shorts and T-shirt I usually threw to wear around the house in the evening, I saw myself in the mirror, and left the clothes where they were. I didn't bother dressing. I stayed nude.

This was new, this was also kind of lovely. I cooked dinner, and ate, and had my glass of wine, and remained naked throughout. Walking, catching sight of myself in windows and mirrors. Standing in the kitchen was a strange, daring thrill. Standing at the sink, rinsing, stacking dishes. One evening I sat outside, to relax, which I did often enough, only this time I sat without any clothes on. The cool night air held my bare skin tight. I felt myself wonderfully exposed, safely so, I hoped, but still naked, still utterly bare.

I sat and waited, teased myself with my own growing arousal, staying for as long as I could stand, naked, looking out over the garden, the dark grass, the surrounding fringe of trees, listening to the distant sound of cars, sirens, the Santa Ana crackling and rustling through the leaves, trying to hear the ocean, looking down, at myself, my bare body, my nudity exaggerated by the night, accentuated by the darkness that contrasted with my pale skin, my nipples stiffening, my legs, the sudden shocking triangle of thick hair at the tops of my thighs.

And I let my legs slide apart, I shifted my feet away from each other, casual, natural, merely for comfort, daring myself to show more, expose more, my most intimate place, imagining someone looking, glancing being able to see between my legs, look clearly at the soft mound of my sex, the thickening cleft of my vulva.

I opened myself to the open air, I spread my legs and looked and felt my pussy being offered to the elements. I felt that breathless quickening of arousal, I felt my sex become deliciously damp, warm and slippery wet. And I scampered inside to masturbate, naked, leaving my doors open.

The next night I was back, after showering, after dinner, sitting nude outside, letting my arousal build, pushing my legs apart, looking though, turning my neck. Could anyone see? From next door? If they wanted to? I was sure not. I pushed my legs apart and dropped my hand between them. This was so bad, so silly, and so lovely. I sat outside, on the top of a small grass bank that led down into my garden, enjoying the cool air, the touch of the earth on my skin, I stretched out, looking down at my own bare body, my belly, my thick tufts of pubic hair, and spread my legs, I opened my pussy onto the night and started to stroke my genitals, so soft, so slow, sliding a single finger between the long lips of my pussy, touching, opening myself, and only then realising quite how moist I was there, quite how turned on. I felt a warm flood of slick wetness escape my vagina. I masturbated quickly, thrillingly, in the quiet cool darkness of my garden, holding my urge to moan, stiffening, biting my lip, coming with delicious speed and strength.

On Thursday I ran for the duration of Corrina's morning nap, about an hour or so, in the basement on the treadmill. Half way through I stopped, and whipped off my T-shirt, my sports bra, my sweat pants and panties, and ran nude. Again I wanted to be seen, to have someone look at me, as if by accident. I imagined Jim, and then, from somewhere, Cotton, Sadie. Glancing through the ground level window and seeing me running, naked, wearing nothing but a pair of old white gym socks and a pair of Nikes. Looking at my bare breasts bouncing up and down, seeing my naked ass wobbling as I hit the belt. Staring at my hot, sweat shiny body, seeing my thick damp bush. The feeling of my uncovered pussy slipping against itself as I ran was enough to give me a new PB.

I thought of my ex, seeing me, catching me, I hadn't thought of him this way since we'd split, seeing me with Jim, I had him watch us, I picked up my running clothes to have a shower, I walked naked though the house, in the day, still breathing hard, still damp with sweat, my hair plastered against my scalp, strands sticking to my neck, my face red, my legs slick, I walked and felt a pleasing slipperiness between my thighs, a tingling, prickling dampness in my pubic hair, beads of moisture trickling and dripping over my pussy, each cheek of my bare butt sliding against the other, the slim cleft of my ass hot and oiled with perspiration.

I walked, I wanted a moment, I stepped and placed my ex-husband in the same room as Jim and myself, watching us, watching me kneel in front of Jim and pull his stiff cock from his pants, and open my mouth onto it, I made him nude, I had him watch me suck Jim's hard cock, reaching and stroking Jim's firm smooth ass, pulling him into me, rocking my head back and forth along the rigid prong of his penis. I made my ex-husband become aroused, I saw his cock stiffen as he watched me with Jim, rising up, thickening, his shiny smooth tip swelling, clear moisture oozing from his large oval bulb.

Of course Corrina woke up before she was meant to, before I had chance to properly enjoy myself, my own arousal, before I even had time to shower. I dressed quickly and splashed water on my face, we both had elevenses, and we went out for a swing.

Jim was there. He wasn't meant to be, or wasn't usually. He was already pushing Kelly, avoiding her kicks, offering his hand up for high fives. I told myself to calm down. It did no good. I saw Jim. I felt the sudden flush of warmth and moisture in invade my groin.

He was next to a few other young moms, sharing jokes, catching up. It all looked so innocent, so friendly, so casual. I savoured the invasion of other images, as I walked towards them, I let thoughts and memories fill me, the last time I saw this man his pants were around his ankles, his glorious cock was sticking up hard from between his legs.

I pushed Corrina and waived at a couple of familiar faces. Smiling. Why was this thought so arousing? Walking as I had a hundred times, passing mothers I had seen so often, all of them recognising me, already chatting to Jim. Knowing though, the contrast I guess, the secret intimacy. I saw him next to them, friendly, normal. I had seen his cock, I'd undressed him and released his engorged dick, and looked at his erect penis, I'd touched it, I'd curled my hand around his wonderful thick stem, lifted it, stroked it, felt him harden, and bent, lowered my head, I'd kissed his cock, I'd taken it in my mouth.

He caught my eye from a swing four down from ours, and smiled. I smiled back. He winked. My pussy tightened and throbbed.

We stood as part of a small group, all mothers, apart from Jimmy, we spoke and chatted about the usual nothings. Our eyes met a couple of times. I used words I wouldn't normally, deliberate, about myself, little Lizzy, nice Lizzy, divorced mother of one, surrounded by other mothers: I sucked his cock, I went down on him, I blew him.

"Hey Lizzy."

I had stretched and run my fingers along his hardened stem, and then unzipped him, and reached into his underwear, we didn't kiss, we stared at each other, and his cock had stiffened, and I'd felt for it, oh god, I'd felt Jim's aroused organ, so hot, so hard, I reached into his clothing and felt his swollen maleness, I pulled out his already stiff prick, I had had it in my hands, stroking, feeling it thicken, watching it stiffen, grow to it's wonderful fullness. I looked at the others, looking, smiling, being friendly. Jim, chatting. And I imagined his cock, I glanced down, soft, nestled within the gentle grip off his underwear, hanging down in his trousers, his large testicles, his thick bush.

"Hi."

A week ago his penis had been in my mouth, I'd pulled his cock into my mouth and slid my lips over it, kissing, tasting, oh god the taste of it, feeling him swell, feeling how rigid he was, feeling him thicken, as I had it between my lips, feeling him come. He came in my mouth ladies, this man you're speaking to, so nice, so casual, I sucked his dick until he came, he is not circumcised, did you know? I know, I eased his soft foreskin back over his sweet moist tip. He is not cut, can I describe him to you girls? He is large, god yes, I don't know exactly, bigger than my ex, so much thicker, so much longer, huge? Maybe, bigger than every other guy I have slept with, I could barely hold it, my fingers could only just fit all the way around, I could feel the strain in my jaw as I forced my mouth wide enough to feel his taut smooth glans slide over my moist lips, so dark and smooth and large, he has such a beautiful cock, and I sucked him and he came in my mouth, he climaxed, I gripped his stem as he pulsed and danced with orgasm, as he spurted his thick seed into my mouth, he filled my mouth, there was so much of it, so thick, so warm and sweet, I drank it down.

"Hiya Jim. Didn't expect you today?"

"No, got an extra day with the little one. "

"Nice. Or not? Mixed blessing?"

"No, good. And it's our turn."

"Your turn?"

"Hmm. Yeah, to treat you, lunch, at ours?"

"Oh, um..."

I had no reason not to go. And one pressing reason to say yes immediately. I said yes.

Do I remember what we had? I am sure he made chicken salad, with mango, pine nuts, pancetta, a mustardy dressing. And wine. This was our little thing, a couple of drinks in the day. It was nice enough for me to be able to ignore the pulse of arousal still causing trembles of pleasure to ripple inside me. I sat with my legs pressed hard together. Savouring the pressure of my pussy lips sliding against each other.

Did we know something was going to happen? I sat and ate, and played with the girls, and all the while I was thinking of pulling his trousers off, reaching inside his underwear to feel for his hot penis. I ate, I sipped my wine, and thought of seeing him nude, his cock frighteningly hard, pointing up in front of him, I thought of sitting next to him, unzipping him, sucking his dick, wordlessly, just this, bobbing up and down in his lap, sliding my mouth over his stiff penis until he came.

Corrina and Kelly both went down, less than easily, but both of us were determined I think, without saying anything.

We were downstairs again. Clearing up, taking a glass into Jim's living room. I noticed walls full of shelves full of books, vinyl records, a stack of weekend newspapers, an untidy pile of old copies of The New York Review of Books. A tennis racquet. A ton of kids' stuff.

And him. We were standing now, but suddenly not saying anything. My breath left me in shallow clumps of air. How close were we? I walked closer, he had been standing in the kitchen doorway, leaning, as I moved he stood upright. I stood too close, invading all natural space, crossing, but stopping. Were we close enough to kiss? To know we could? So close I could feel his breath on me, on my lips, I opened my mouth, yet, no, not quite, we leant in but didn't touch, it was almost unbearably arousing, to be so close to kissing but not, it was a game, but one neither of us were planning, it was just so nice, so fucking nice. The silence made it more erotic, more strange, I felt my nipples harden, another wave of moisture seep from my vagina. I could feel my panties starting to stick to my pussy. I looked down. Jim's cock was blatantly hard. Protruding again, bulging out in a thick curve underneath his trousers.

Could we allow this game to go on much longer? Knowing something was happening, was going to, extending this almost painful moment of anticipation, the precipice of something and nothing, a lunch date, a playdate, two single parents killing a little time together, both grown up, both dressed, both nice and polite and well behaved. And then invasion. Exposing ourselves, seeing what we would not normally see, touching, feeling, kissing, tasting each other's private parts.

I looked at him, looking at me, staring with decreasing control at the thick length of Jim's aroused organ. Knowing how wet I was, how rigid my nipples were. I wanted him to see me, to feel me, to know.

My legs suddenly weakened. This was madness, unbearable, our breathing entered us, mixed with us. I edged back a tiny distance, so I could see him, so I could look and gaze at Jim's turgid member, and see myself, my hand, reaching. I touched him, still without kissing, I reached and touched Jim's stiff cock through his pants. I heard him gasp as I stroked it, as I ran my fingers along the trapped length of his penis, again shocked at the size of it, my fingers surprised, finding his tip, touching, pressing.

Jim shifted back, half a step, looked at me, my face, my eyes, my body. God what was I wearing? The same sweat pants I ran in, the same faded Wolverines T-shirt I'd been using for years?

Jim stepped back, looking. I felt faint, consumed with intoxicating nervousness. He stepped back, but moved his hand forward and pulled the tie of my sweat pants apart, he undid the knot. I felt his hands on my body, my bare skin, so briefly, the backs of his fingers. And he stopped. My breath stopped with him. Was he waiting? For me to stop him? To tell him to carry on? I didn't trust my voice.

Our eyes met again, our lips still close, our heads nodding, closer, apart. My knees were weakening. And he touched me again. I felt Jim's hands drift over my front, touching, sliding over the two tender peaks of my nipples, held firm by the sports bra I put on earlier, hidden by the thin material of my running top. His touch was enough, despite the two layers, his fingers carried their own electric current. Lower though, to the waist band of my sweats, inside. Oh god inside. Please, inside.

Jim opened his hands under the elastic waist, and spread them over my hips. I think he hooked a thumb outside. And pushed. Oh god. He pushed my pants down. I didn't stop him, I felt more exposed than I could ever remember, thrillingly so, like I'd never been looked at before. I looked down. What had I put on underneath this morning? The oldest, the grungiest pair of pale blue panties. Jim was looking. Stepping back, I felt his eyes drawing over my nearly bare legs. Knowing what he would be able to see, the thick bulge of my pubic hair, the creamy white skin of my thighs, the damp shadow of moisture staining the gusset of my underwear.

And then his hands were inside my panties. Inside. On my ass. It had been so long. A man's hands were stroking my bare ass. And then, in one swift movement, Jim pulled again, and stripped my underwear away from my hips, away from my sex. I nearly fainted. Again, god, again. He stepped back and looked at me, I saw his mouth open, I looked myself, at myself, my dark, untrammelled bush, dense, curly, spraying out over the swollen flesh of my pussy. My feet were trapped by the two pieces of lowered clothing.

"I should... let me take my sneakers off."

He put his finger over my lips, shook his head. And dropped to his knees. Oh god I was in trouble.

I felt his hands on my hips, his mouth, his lips, on my stomach, kissing, flicking his tongue, lifting my T-shirt and circling my bare skin, and lower, oh, lower, over my navel, onto my hip, to the side, to my groin, and in, oh fuck, Jim stroked my naked ass with his soft fingers and pressed his mouth into the thick humid nest of my pubic hair. I heard him breathe in deeply through his nose, breathing me in, inhaling me, the thick scent of my arousal, my sex, me.

He sat on his feet, Jim sat in front of me and lifted a foot up, slowly, pulling the ankle of my sweats over my running shoe, then the other, he dropped then on the wooden floor behind me. I saw my panties, bunched around my calves. I saw the long patch of dampness showing both of us the state of my arousal. It ran the length of my pussy. God, how wet was I? Jim lifted my feet again, pulled my panties off. I stood on front of him, naked from the waist down, pushing one foot away from the other, standing on my hip, naked apart from my old T-shirt, naked apart from two off-white socks and a pair of battered running shoes.

And he looked at me, just, only, I let him, I jumped off our precipice into the chasm of uncontrolled pleasures. I stood and let this beautiful strange man stare at my bare legs, I let him stand, behind me, looking at my ass now, firm enough I knew from running, smooth, full and tight, and then something, oh, oh fuck, Jim dropped to his knees again and touched my naked as with his lips, he kissed my soft skin, gentle teasing kisses, something more, his tongue, he gripped my waist and drew me onto his mouth, and I felt his warm wet tongue slide along my butt, my exposed cheeks, and then, then, between them, gliding his tight teasing tip up then down the long damp cleft of my ass.

I heard myself moan, gasp. I realised I was pushing myself backwards.

He stepped and manoeuvred me backwards, towards the sofa. His hands, his firm hands on my hips again, stroking, touching my ass. I sat back. My legs together. Jim stood in front of me, looking down. And I pushed my legs apart. Slowly, deliberately, opening myself to him, showing him the damp dark mound of my sex. I spread my feet, still wearing my sneakers, my loose white running socks, I pushed my feet wide apart. Looking at him looking, wanting him to. I edged my ass forward.

"Kiss me Jimmy, kiss me... kiss me there... "

Jim dropped to his knees in front of me, not touching, looking, staring, god, studying me. His eyes were like two soft probes of caressing light, I felt my pussy pulsing, thickening. Oh god, and he still hadn't touched me.

"Oh... oh god Jim... oh god..."

He stared. It felt so filthy, I felt so exposed. He was staring without shame at my dark swollen sex, the crinkled lips of my pussy, the tender furl around my engorged clitoris, my tight wet vagina. I had never had a guy do this before, just look, just look. My pleasure lifted me, filled me.

"You have such a beautiful pussy. Oh god it is so lovely."

He looked up to my face, my eyes, his mouth open.

"I want to see all of you."

"All of me?"

I knew, I knew. The idea was depraved, humiliating. Thrilling. I am sure I nearly came right then, at the idea.

"Uh-huh. I want to see all of you."

I shifted forward again, and raised my feet, still in those goddamn Nikes, up onto the coffee table behind Jim. I pushed myself up, my pussy, and felt my ass slide over the edge of the sofa. Jim lowered his eyes again. I was utterly exposed, all of me, my dark hairy wet pussy, thick, glisteningly wet, and my last hidden place, oh god, I had never had a guy look at me there, not really, touched, once in a while, but never so examined, not like this, I felt so dirty, so shameless, so wanton. So willing. I wanted him to look, to see, to stare at my clenched anus, my tight, hairy, sweaty asshole.