As I was preparing to write this story, I discovered on the top shelf of my closet an old file I'd lost track of, inside of which was a sealed envelope. When I tore it open, I was pleasantly shocked to see I'd saved the photos of my young wife naked in a river.
There were others as well, her lying face up on the bed, smiling shyly, and swimming naked in the ocean, and one from behind, through open shutters in a cabin, as she stood in an outside bathtub toward the bay, a towel held in front her semi-demurely (there were boaters out there) but her brown back and legs and white bottom completely on display to me.
I'd almost forgotten that I'd taken these. She'd been so reluctant to ever appear naked in public that it had taken me years and many rounds of gentle persuasion before she started to let go.
But when she did, our life together started changing as well, in ways that we never could have anticipated. What's that story about Humpty Dumpty?
As I write this, I have two of the old photos that I have uploaded to my computer screen to inspire me. One is very grainy because all I had to work with was a black-and-white contact sheet thumbnail – it's her in the river.
I re-photographed it with my digital camera, blew it up to normal size, and re-touched it in iPhoto. The result is still far from the quality of porn images, but somehow that seems fitting, as it has a vintage feel now and is rapidly re-igniting feelings that I've long repressed.
There she is, completely naked in the river, the water up to her waist, standing on a bit of sand among many round, smooth rocks and stones in that mountain setting. She is tall and slender, 5'7" and 120 lbs. with her long blond hair behind her back.
From her pretty shoulders, her arms are spread out and her hands are touching the surface of the river as if she is caressing it. Her face is looking down at her left hand, away from my view.
I see her ear, her cheek, and her left eye.
But also I see her lovely bare breasts standing out at attention.
White from the bikini normally hid them from the sun during our frequent trips to beaches, lakes and rivers, they are perky.
Even in this hazy rendering it is obvious her nipples are erect.
Looking lower, I can see her flat tummy and where her lower body enters the river water. I see the bush above her pussy and the hint of her white behind. Nothing obvious, just hints. Just suggestions of what could be seen by someone else from a different angle.
We'd been hiking next to this river for hours. It was in a remote part of the west coast, but we'd encountered a fair number of other people along the way. Most, like us, were young. We were both 27 at the time.
As we hiked, I took off my shirt and just wore some shorts, socks and shoes. My wife wore one of my shirts unbuttoned as a coverall over a bikini and flip-flops. The bikini had a flowery pattern and was just big enough to cover her breasts and bottom.
I loved looking at her body as she hiked in front of me and imagining that she would eventually get naked out here in nature. I have no idea why the idea holds such power over me but it always has, and apparently always will.
Eventually we reached a spot we deemed remote enough to settle in for our lunch and the adventures that would follow. She laid out a towel and I unpacked our food and wine from the backpack. She went into the pool nearby for a swim. As always she kept on her swimsuit.
Skinny-dipping, as she told me, was too risky for her. What if a stranger came and saw her naked?
The funny thing about that is that often after we got back home to our third-floor apartment in the city with the curtains open, she would relive our days outside with me on a futon in our living room, where a number of neighbors might be able to see.
She would drink some wine and then lay back, while I touched her and asked her how she felt about what we did that day. Invariably, what we always did was hike, swim, apply sunscreen to each other's bodies, and notice others nearby, some of whom (given where we live) were naked.
Then we would have sex. During the lead-up to intercourse I would query her about what she had seen and how that made her feel.
"Did you see that pretty Asian woman undress up by sand dune?"
"Yes."
