Running Riot After Jay

"Did you mean to do that?" Lisa had caught up with me at the table.

"No! I forgot about the knickers."

"I thought you were being an exhibitionist sl..."

I cut her off. "No! That's your thing."

Lisa's eyes snarled at me. "I suppose I deserve that."

"No, you don't." I felt embarrassed at firing such a low blow at her. "If I'd remembered them, I might still have done it because I'm stoned."

"Steph's wild tonight."

"Yes. She is."

Big Dave crept up from behind me. "Nice dance."

"You mean me or all of us?" As if I didn't know.

"Erm... All of you?"

"Nice save," said Lisa.

Dave leaned into my ear. "Did you realise that you..."

"No!" I pushed him away. "And I don't want to talk about it."

I walked off with my topped up glass and bumped into my two new admirers. Jim passed me his joint. "That was some show."

"Thanks, but it was an accident." I took a drag.

"You lifted your skirt by accident?" Dale spoke this time.

I held the smoke in for ten seconds before replying. "I forgot I'd left my knickers off after going for a piss."

He inhaled my smoke. "Good excuse." He leaned in to me as I drew on the spliff again. "You still not not wearing any?"

"That's for me to know and you to find out!" As soon as the words fell out of my mouth, I wanted to suck them back.

"That an invitation?" Jim asked.

A movement round my thighs became the warm touch of a hand sliding into the fold of my skirt. "I think you deserve payment for that performance," Dale said as he discovered the answer to his question.

"Yes, you do." I turned to look at Jim as he said this; he kissed me on the mouth. It lasted less than five seconds.

"Maybe I do." I grinned at them. "So drop your kecks and show me your knobs!"

"No chance." Jim was shocked at the thought.

I felt nothing down below from the kiss or the touch. I pushed Dale's hand away. "You don't have permission to do that, and you're making me want to go pee." It was true. I realised how much alcohol had passed my tonsils since the churchyard, and I hadn't been yet. I looked from one to the other and decided I'd shag either of them, but just wasn't getting aroused, no matter what.

"You are a prick tease, you know that?" Dale again.

"Yes, I do." I walked away, still holding the joint. I returned to the kitchen and finished it while pouring a nice Pernod and Lemonade. If I'm going to get laid tonight, I reasoned, I had to do something with this lack of arousal situation. I did need a piss, but wanted to wait until I was sufficiently pissed to forget my embarrassing performance and shake off the rest of my inhibitions; perhaps that will help my libido.

After emptying the glass, I realised I should not mix my drinks, and my legs wobbled like jelly. Once my rapidly inflating bladder grabbed my attention, it remained my only focus. Nevertheless, I would not let it beat me. Bearing in mind that I was sans-culotte, any leakage may well become obvious.

I entered the Status Quo room. A Buddy Holly song was playing, to which I attempted a dance with Rory. He asked me if that performance of mine had been deliberate exhibitionism, though he was less blunt than that. I assured him it wasn't.

"That doesn't mean I wouldn't still have done it if I'd remembered."

"I reckon you're drunk enough."

"Who said I was?" He grinned at my answer. "You know what a shameless hussy I am. Anyway, I need a fill up and a squirt." I left without waiting for a response.

Back in the kitchen, I reached for the Pernod, but poured another snake bite instead. Though I wondered if that was any better. "Ah! There's our cancan girl," a voice smirked behind me.

As I span around to look at the owner of the voice, Jim, I knocked over a few bottles. "You're drunk," said Dale.

"Do you two always hunt in pairs?" My speech was noticeably slurring. I turned and started righting the mess I'd made; Pernod, whiskey, vodka, a plastic torch, a couple of glasses.

"Nah!" Jim answered. "We're having a competition."

"Competition?" I spun towards him.

"Yep. You're the prize."

"Fuck off. I'm nobody's prize."

"It's a contest to see who gets to cop off," said Dale.

"Well, off you pop. Go and cop off."

"With you!"

"For starters, I get to decide who 'cops off' with me. Erection! Haha, no! I mean correction! I decide who I cop off with. And second, who suggested you'd have to compete?" Shit! There was my mouth, not waiting for my brain to catch up again.

"Oh, really?" Dale sidled up to me, putting his hand on my tit.

"Well, that's not the way to win!"

"How about..." Jim completed his sentence by kissing my neck, the sensitive spot beneath my ear, which usually has a direct connection to my fanny. Nothing.

"You are taking advantage of me while I'm tippled. No tipstie. Erm, drunk."

"You're taking advantage of us, because we're tipsy as well."

As he said that, one of the more recent punters from the pub, a neighbour of Big Dave Carling's, came through in a hurry. "Too desperate to wait for the loo," he said, and exited the back door. This was my chance to flush out my libido.

"I'll catch up with you where the dancing's happ'nin'. Go on. I'll find you." Jim and Dale wondered off, giving me the opportunity to nip out to the garden. I grabbed a handful of kitchen roll, tucked it into my sleeve and stepped out into the garden, fighting to hold my bladder in check.

***

Shit! I did not expect the garden to be illuminated by two outdoor halogen lamps, almost like car headlamps. However, the grounds were extensive, with some clusters of shrubbery which I thought might spoil my perverted plan, but at least I could move out of the intense light. I began hitching up my skirt and tucking it into my waistband, as the cool night air fanned my groin.

The patio had been so bright that I'd failed to see, about forty feet from the door, the Carling's neighbour stood facing into a small, round clump of bushes at such an angle that the dimmer glow reaching this part of the garden illuminated him; his hose hung out but not did yet water the plants. Only a few feet away from him, and already unsteady from the various chemicals in my body, my legs trembled with the excitement of giving a stranger another kind of performance in the outdoors. The legion of butterflies again soared in their random flights inside my torso as I held still, silent, so that he was unaware of me.

His stream erupted from his cock. A burst of energy propelled me to a spot further around the group of bushes, my long wrapover already a third of its normal length and securely tucked in.

"Great minds think alike." I announced my arrival, taking up a position that did nothing to hide me from his surprised eyes - compelled to turn in my direction - and lifting the material the rest of the way. The contents of my bladder had been struggling to batter down the defences of my pelvic floor for over an hour, so my opening did not hesitate to let go. The torrent flowed from me and drowned out my new voyeur's own waterfall.

"Oh!" He didn't stop watering the greenery.

"Fuck me! That's a relief!" I applied my well practised tension to direct my jet at the greenery and his eyes widened.

"You're the cancan girl," he said.

"You recognised the fanny?"

"Yes. No! Your face." Neither of us looked at faces.

"Am I now destined to be known as the cancan girl?" This was bizarre; two of us staring at each other's gushing genitals and holding a conversation. It generated a warm glow in my loins, but not much in the way of arousal.

"Fuck me, look at this!" I hadn't been aware of Dale approaching with Jim in tow, my fanny now spotlit by the torch in Dale's hand.

"Jesus!" Jim said. "That is fucking fabulous."

"I thought I'd do a special private show after the dance."

"I knew you were going to be fun. Carry on." I did as Dale instructed. I had little choice; my bladder carried about two hours of guzzled alcohol, which was desperate to get out; the resulting chemicals had rented space in my brain, which now refused to send the sensibility signals to my body.

A silence followed while three men marvelled at my pissing skill, but I had only one to admire. The new friend ended his show with the traditional shake of the now fuller and less floppy knob. He kept staring as my stream became a dribble and then stopped. Too drunk to remember what to do next, I stayed still, leaving myself on display.

"Enjoying the view?"

"Not 'alf," Jim answered.

Dale made an announcement. "I've got a fucking semi on here."

"Only a semi? I'm insulted." As I wiped dry with the kitchen roll, three pairs of eyes and a plastic torch bored into me; I threw the tissue in the bush. "Shows over." I pulled my skirt out and dropped it, covering myself. The unnamed punter left. "And put that sodding light away." Dale did so.

"You've spoilt it now," Jim said.

"Not entirely. Your turn."

"You're kidding!" Dale was shocked at the suggestion.

"You've seen mine and plenty of it, so it's time to check out yours. Surely you must be dying for a piss by now."

"Well, if you weren't here..." Jim started.

"I insist."

"I need one, anyway," Dale admitted and stood where Big Dave's neighbour had been. He pulled out his not insignificant cock, and my eyes widened.

I looked at Jim. "Your turn." He walked past me without a reply and took position on the other side of the shrubs from his mate, leaving me in the middle. Glancing to alternate sides, it felt as though I was at Wimbledon, but Dale's stream hit the shrub first, grabbing my focus. Not the biggest dick I'd ever seen, but it was a contender.

When I turned to Jim, he too was pissing in the bush. To say he presented a boyish member is not unkind. It was probably the smallest I'd ever seen.

"Oh, poor Jim. Let me see if I can do something for that." Did I say I was pissed? I stepped towards him. As I reached him, I offered my hand towards the one Jim held his dick with. I took hold of his finger-like member and he removed his hand, allowing me to direct his stream wherever I wanted. Yes, it filled out as I clutched it. "That's better," I condescended.

"Hey," Dale called across the shrubbery. "What about me?"

"You'll be done before I get to you."

"No! I'm holding on for you." Obviously pissed as well.

Jim's knob was more substantial by the time he finished draining himself. "I feel like I should carry on and see how big it gets." I stroked while it stiffened. "We call that a grower, not a shower. It's fucking telescopic."

"Hey!" Dale again. "Over here. I'm still bursting."

"That's your fault," I said as I approached him. His cock was more than a semi now. As I got within a couple of steps, his stream restarted. Impressively, he passed a full flow with a partial erection. "Impressive," I complimented. "Can I hold it?"

"Damn right."

I took over from him and had several seconds of fun directing the jet this way and that until his stiffness pinched it off.

"Ah," I said. "It's stopped.

"That's your fault.

"And it's still wet. Let me dry that for you." I stooped down and sucked on his wet glans. The last thimbleful he would have squirted into the bushes, hit my soft palate. "Mm." I'd learned recently that I found this pleasant.

"Hey," said the younger man, "you didn't do that for me."

"No, I did not." I stood up, grinned at both of them, and walked away. "Later, boys."

"Prick tease!" They called in unison.

***

I staggered through to the kitchen, brain swooshing around my skull, floors swirling under my feet, fanny dry as a fresh sock and not a flutter to be sensed down there. Opting for a soft drink, I decided I had the girlie equivalent of brewer's droop. This had never happened before. But, let's face it, there's more than one way to enjoy the company of men; or women, I thought as Steph glided in with her film-star figure.

"Alright, girl," I said.

"Hi San. You look a little worse for wear."

"Yish. I am."

"Where have you been? Didn't cop off, did you?"

"Nopie. Went for a pish in the bushes."

I had to speak at a deliberate pace to get the words out.

"Good God! Sandra! You have no shame."

"Shame's got notstink to do with shame. I juss enjoy it."

"Weird."

With that, Dale and Jim came back in, the smell of cannabis hanging on their breaths. "Hi, cancan girl," said Dale. "Or is that can't, can't girl?"

"More won't-won't, girl." Jim corrected him as he leaned in to me.

"What's that about?" Steph asked.

"Oh, they think I'm a prick tease," I replied, putting my arm around Jim. "They obviously don't know me." I kissed him on the cheek.

"Don't be forced into anything you don't want."

"Don't worry. I won't."

"You want a drink?"

"No ta. I've got orange and lemo here."

"Can't handle the booze, eh?" Dale teased.

"I can probably handle more than you, shunsine - sunshine."

"Not sure which way to take that."

"Whichever way you want."

"I'm back to Dave," Steph announced. She whispered to me, "Straight up. Be careful. You don't know them."

"I'm only here, you know," Jim interjected. "Stop fussing, grandma. She's a grown woman."

I mouthed to Steph, "I'll be okay." She left. "And you two," I rounded on Jim and Dale, "It's called flirting, not teasing."

"So, it's foreplay?" Dale asked.

"Don't push it." I walked away with my orange and lemonade.

In the room, which I was now calling the 'Status Quo room,' Lisa was dancing with Larry. That's nice, I thought. And staggered to the other room. Steph was chatting to another man, who looked familiar to me, and far too familiar with Steph. Her boyfriend was nowhere in sight. The unknown man caressed Steph's arm as he drew near to whisper. They both laughed. As they moved apart, he grazed Steph's obvious nipple with his fingertips. She didn't flinch.

"Hello." I interrupted them. "I'm Sandra, or San for short."

"Peter," he returned, holding out his hand.

"Don't be so stiff!" I hugged him, planting a kiss on his lips and felt his erection against my stomach. I looked down with a grin as we parted. "Mmm, you are."

"San, this is Pete. He works with David's brother. First time in the Riverside tonight."

I leaned in to Steph. "I see you've taken my advice at last."

"What about?" I nodded at her braless breasts. "Oh, yes."

"It's neishe, but what the fuck are you doing? And where's David?"

"He's in a huff somewhere."

"You two argued?"

"He wasn't happy at me flashing my knickers."

"At least you were wearing some. But it started before that. You've not been right all night."

"Hey. I think you're being a bit rude," Peter said.

"And I think you should fuck off and let us talk."

"You don't get to talk to..."

"I'm used to awkward customers. I'd have you on your back before you can blink. Now fuck off."

"Agh! You're not worth it." He stormed off.

"Steph, don't hurt Dave. I know I play around a bit, but that's mine and Jay's arrangement." I realised what I had said. "It WAS our arrangement, I mean."

"You'd be back with him in a flash if you weren't so proud."

"Nah! I never go back for seconds. Now, tell me what's up with you and Little... I mean, you and Dave?"

"Not now. Another time."

"I'll hold you to that." Steph left.

A hand planted on each shoulder. "Hello, cancan girl," Dale's voice whispered into my ear. Soft lips traced a line from the sensitive tissue below my earlobe to the soft valley in my collarbone.

"Hello, deviant voyeur," I replied.

"Hello, pervert flasher." Jim had stepped in front of me. "So, which one of us have you really been flirting with?"

"Which do you think?"

"Can't say. Could be either of us."

"Or both." I winked. Jim's eyes widened. Dale continued to play my erogenous zone.

"You'll have to decide sooner or later." He stroked my cheek and ran his hand down to my breast.

"Who said?"

Dale stopped kissing my neck to say, "She seems to want us both."

I shivered with excitement at the prospect of having my first threesome and sensed a fluttering in my loins for the first time that night.

"Mm!" I said. "There's a thought."

"Aren't you hot in that cardie?" Jim smirked.

"Thank you, James. I am hot full stop. Whatever I wear."

"I mean, hot and sweaty." He popped open one of the two buttons.

"Not yet, I'm not."

Jim popped the other button and pulled open the cardigan. "Oh! No bra," he said. I looked down at the tips of my tits pushing against my shirt. My nipples hadn't received the instruction not to get aroused that my fanny had.

"Not much point when I got no knickers on."

"Why no knickers?" He was doing his best to distract me with a question while he explored my nipple.

"The cancan wouldn't have been as exciting with knickers, would it?"

Dale was saying nothing but carried on kissing my neck and nibbling my ear. "So you lied. It was deliberate," Jim stated.

"Truth is, I had a piss in the churchyard on the way here. I had to dry myself somehow, so the knickers drew the short straw." I wasn't drunk enough to reveal that I was giving Bennie a lesson in girl plumbing at the time. "They're in my bag. Shall I put them on?"

"No. Not on my account." By then, Dale's hand had slipped around to caress my other tit. Jim's free hand had slid behind the curtain of my skirt. It was so sexy to have two strangers groping me in a albeit futile attempt to ignite my passions. My knees tremble as he reached his goal.

"Fucking hell girl! Stop being so greedy." Jim snatched his hands back, and I looked over his shoulder to see Suzie, who had just walked through the door, ever so drunk. Big Dave was behind her, also less than sober. Dale didn't flinch.

"Where have you two been?" I asked, my imagination running away with itself.

"What? Nowhere." Big Dave stuttered, denying my implicit accusation, but Suzie definite blushed.

"He was just behind me when I walked in," she lied. I inclined my head in a knowing nod. They walked past and started dancing. God knows what music was playing. The situation where I had two men trying to seduce me had all of my attention; if my body gets over this reluctance, they might succeed, I pondered.

Without unwanted eyes on us, Jim resumed his two pronged assault on my person while Dale undid two buttons on my shirt, giving access for him to slide a hand in to access my responsive nipple, pushing Jim's hand away into the bargain. Now with a free hand, Jim guided mine to his bulging erection, then stroked my face and leaned his head in to kiss me. His cock seemed far bigger than it had looked out in the garden.

Jim was finding it difficult to raise a response from my lady-garden, however. As frustrating as this was for him, it tortured me. Not to be beaten, he retrieved his hand, unfastened two more buttons while pulling the shirt up, though not far enough to release it from my waistband. Pulling my garment open, he leaned down and sucked the free nipple, while Dale's hand slid away to my face, turning my head into a kiss. I glanced at Suzie, who was staring, grinning at me. The shock flickered through me, bypassing my clit, unfortunately.

As I slid my hand into Jim's waistband to find his hardness, he licked his middle finger and returned it to my crotch. The lubricant was a welcome addition, but it did little for my Yoni. His finger stabbed at my fortress-like entrance.

"Ouch!" I said. "Just be gentle!" Jim stopped trying to penetrate me and returned his attention to an outer lip just as Dale's hand reached the other one via the waist of my skirt. I moaned, not from the arousal but from the warm, fuzzy desire in my brain. Was this what my body was telling me? That there is more to pleasure than genitals.

With two men stroking my vulva, I'd have been gushing like Niagara Falls and other time. I was as arid as the Nevada Dessert. A finger, though I'd no idea whose, prodded me again. Pain, not arousal, fired through my loins.