Hi, my name is Rita. If you've read Movie Nights, you know Tony and I are married, have two girls, and that about eight years ago Tony brought home some of "those" movies to spice up our love life. We both discovered that I was more turned on by the movies than even Tony had hoped for, and whether it was just the movies, which I doubt, or the time together to focus on us and talk about things that through force of habit we'd never talked about, our love life did improve.
Tony is, as I have come to understand a lot of guys are, a voyeur. I don't mean in a bad way with the judgement society normally places on such labels. It's just guys are visual for the most part. While he loves watching all women is various states of undress or sexual situations, he is particularly obsessed with me as the center of his visual universe.
While I was hesitant to accept or believe it at first, Tony really enjoys and is aroused by my being seen by other men. I'd never been one to seek that sort of thing and didn't consider it right, my sister and I were raised in a pretty conservative religious household. On top of that, we girls were also raised to believe that one guy would be our world for our entire lives; to death do us part and that sort of thing.
I'm thirty-seven, one hundred twenty-four pounds and five seven. Tony says I'm perfect and I've gotten enough positive feedback these last eight years to believe that my 35B-25-37 frame can turn heads still. I'm a brunette (almost black, really) with thick pubic hair that I trim only around my labia. Those are what Tony says are my best feature, but I didn't always like how I looked 'down there.' As I young woman, I worried about the length of my inner labia -- they more than peek out of my pussy.
Tony's always suggested I dress more provocatively. He calls it 'sexier,' and I did so for him. Only for him, not really understanding or wanting to be 'sexier' for anyone else. We're happily married and I'm a professional woman, a nurse practitioner in a dermatology practice; I didn't think it was appropriate to dress scantily. Through our increasing intimacy and honesty, and almost as a fluke and after much encouragement/ harassment from my husband, I had an experience with being unintentionally exposed. My own reaction was unexpected, and Tony's reaction to my telling him about it was at once shocking and delightful. I was actually quite thrilled by the experience, which confused me. For Tony, as best as I am able to comprehend it, it was like both watching and being in one of the porn movies, - and getting to be the guy who takes the starlet home at night.
I've moved beyond trying to explain the why and how of our particular turn-on. After much more encouragement from my husband, with assurances that he truly was turned on by the incident I had and that he wanted me to explore my own reaction to that, I slowly dipped my toes (and other parts) into exhibitionism. Tony has written about how this began and has kept -- unbeknownst to me -- a sort of journal of all that's transpired since. He's asked that I relate some of the stories; I think he just wants to 'hear' them again as it arouses him. To be honest, it does me too!
It had been about six or seven weeks since the day I had accidently bent over while grocery shopping and caught a young man of eighteen or nineteen looking down my blouse. I still can't explain why I had decided that particular morning to go without a bra, I hadn't done anything like that since Tony and I were in college. When I got back to the house that morning and told Tony about it, I could see that it really turned him on. I had tried to play it off as innocent as I had been worried that he'd be angry, or at least upset. Instead, I had to confess that I had been stimulated by the experience as well, and that night he'd expressed that he wanted me to continue to explore this facet of my sexuality, with the caveat that we share everything that might happen.
I was still conflicted about my desire to be noticed by other men as well as Tony's desire to have me seen in that way. I was certain that he'd get jealous and it would cause harm to our marriage if I ever acted out on the daydreams I'd been having. I recall nothing too overt, but thinking about such things as looking at shorter, tighter skirts while shopping, lighter weight outfits for work (which really shocked me!), and opportunities that might present themselves for me to 'accidently' expose some skin. The daydreams were terribly exciting, but still I hesitated to act on any of them.
Then one afternoon Tony called me at work.
"Hey Babe, I gotta ask a big favor," he started.
I have no idea why I answered with, "Well, as long as it doesn't involve me dancing naked on a table somewhere, what is it?"
He laughed, "Well I don't think it'll get to that, but um... I'd like to bring a couple of customers over this evening?"
I believe my heart skipped a beat. "Tony, no. I will not..."
"Rita, relax, I'm not asking you to do anything," he said lowering his voice to a hoarse whisper, "though you could definitely pull it off. You're gorgeous, and I know that would get us the deal.
I was stunned, I couldn't believe my ears -- and yet I recall feeling strangely intrigued. He was saying he didn't want me to 'do' anything, but he let me know this could influence a contract for our company.
"Listen, these guys were in Orlando for a trade show and just drove over to see the shop. Bobby and I made a proposal for a pretty big order with them last month and they wanted to see our set-up to determine if we could fulfill the order. We were thinking if we could also spend some time to build a relationship...."
I looked over at my nursing assistant who was indicating that my next patient was in the room waiting. "Babe, I can't leave early today, I.."
"No, no problem. Kim says she'll get the kids together and take them to your mom's. She and Bobby will come over, we'll have some drinks and something to eat, hang around the pool for a couple hours, and then they'll head back to their hotel."
"What about food?" I protested weakly.
"It's okay, we'll just order some delivery. Nothing fancy, it's just a chance to make a connection with these guys. Bobby and Kim are in, so is it okay?" I could hear the pleading in his voice. I sensed nothing more from Tony, but my mind was thinking naughty thoughts. I'd surreptitiously been watching some exhibitionist wife videos, feeding my growing curiosity and fantasies, and all I could think of was that this was some sort of dare.
"Fine," I said, then added in a whisper, "but no table dancing."
"Thanks, Babe, I love you." I could hear the smile and relief in his voice.
"Love you too. I gotta go, okay?"
"Sure. Ah, Babe?"
"What, Tony, I've got a patient waiting?"
"Could you...," he began very carefully, "Would you consider...."
"What?"
"Nothing. Never mind. I love you. See you later, Gorgeous. Bye." He hung up.
Tony had been so patient these last couple months, never bringing up his desire for me to show myself off. Never asking if I would or had, just as he had promised to not obsess, not nag. He complimented me often, noticed what I was wearing, but refrained from any sort of overt pushing of the subject. He was leaving this up to me.
I felt myself flush, suddenly warm. A hundred thoughts ran through my mind at the same time; randy visions, anticipation, trepidation, glee, and fear all mingled. Jiminy, what swimsuit would I wear? A glance in the mirror told me which set of thoughts my mind was reacting to, the barely-there bra I had chosen so wear today might as well have been left at home as my always responsive nipples pressed forward.
"Everything okay, Rita?" asked my medical assistant Janine.
"Yeah, Tony is inviting some clients to the house and wanted to give me a head's up. I have to smile all evening, that's all," I responded.
"Hmm," she said handing me the chart. "Speaking of head's up, this might take your mind off tonight."
I looked at the tablet and back at her. This had to be some sort of cruel prank; 28 year-old male with a complaint of a dark spot on the head of his penis.
With a little grin and a nudge of my arm, Janine added, "He's cute too," and knocked on the exam room door announcing our arrival.
The Fates were scheming mightily with my emotions. I see patients all day long, quite often in nothing but their underwear with a paper gown over them which I move as I need to examine this mole or spot, that area they are worried about, or their entire body -- except the genitalia -- for routine skin exams. To be honest, it is very much less stimulating than most folks imagine. The vast majority of us are not models and even fewer seemed to be my patients. Most people look better with clothes on. This guy was the exception.
I glanced over the tablet in my hand to see his pile of clothes on the chair in the corner, his underwear on top. I smiled at him, introduced myself, and asked how he was doing today. My mind was running over the exam I had to do, the things I needed to rule out and consider, my professional checklist. Something deep inside failed to get the message. Janine was right - he was cute, reminding me of a professional tennis player, lithe not bulky, but very much a guy's guy. Dark hair, piercing blue eyes, and a nice smile. Damnit, I wished my nipples were covered with catcher's mitts, hoping he wouldn't notice. It would look silly to run back out and grab the white lab coat I never wore.
"So, Mr. Mullins, you're here about spot on your penis?" I said with professional detachment. As I made eye contact, I saw his eyes rising from my chest.
He blushed at having been caught, an embarrassed grin creasing his lips. "Ah, yeah."
His look into my eyes made me warm.
"Is this a new spot, or have you had it a while?" I asked, seeking to remain professional.
"New. I noticed it about a month ago. Well, my then girlfriend did..." again he blushed and grinned, his blue eyes shining. I couldn't decide if he was bragging a bit or just trying to get the details right.