When you really love someone it is my view that when they stray you do not just immediately chuck your relationship away. I often hear people say that if their partner was ever unfaithful then that would be it. But if you really love someone would you not try to work out why they strayed and what was missing in your relationship? If the roles had been reversed I would certainly have afforded Andy that leeway and thankfully he felt the same.
In the following weeks Andy had to work very hard to get over it, and I often felt ashamed about my behaviour that night in Greece. I did however feel a whole lot better about it after I had got it out into the open. At that time sometimes I felt full of regret and worried that things will never be the same again with Andy. But other times privately I was glad that it happened-and thought, 'You're only here once.' Before that night, I had only had full sex with two men, and in one night I had increased my tally to five and I felt some private satisfaction about that. My biggest regret is that I wished I had been fully conscious for the whole experience and not passed out. Although at the time, when I accused the boys of having me when I was asleep, they told me that I had been responding and enjoying it from start to finish but that is not my memory so I don't know. Often I felt concerned that that could be the only time I ever had sex with multiple partners and it might never happen again. I became increasingly obsessed with the notion that I had to change Andy and our relationship to give me more freedom to indulge my wild urges.
I had some very honest and candid discussions and arguments with Andy about how and what I am and my obsessions. He began to understand me a lot better and my need to do it. I did not want to have secrets from him anymore. He wanted me to himself but I knew that I was no longer able to promise that. I had to have the freedom to have sex with other guys now and again when my exhibitionist desires surfaced. He wishes I was not like this but he loves me and accepts it. I told him that he was also welcome to have sex with other women and once he got used to the idea he could see that could be fun for him. I said that life was too bloody short to only ever have sex with each other and that it was only sex for God's sake. The important thing was that we should not do anything behind each other's back or have secrets from each other.
He has obviously even accepted my exhibitionist desire to tell the world my intimate secrets about my exploits on erotic literature web sites and in forums and chat groups. I have to tell you that I get a lot of email and messages from guys who wish that their wives or girlfriends were more like me so maybe Andy should think he is lucky! I get messages all the time from guys who would like to see their partners have sex with other guys. Equally I get messages from females who have the same urges as me but wish they had the nerve to act on them.
To be honest I would have liked nothing more sometime than to have sex with Andy in front of others- even strangers if he preferred. He did fuck me once in front of his flatmate at university as you know. I also would have loved to watch him fuck another woman. At that time he was not up for such high jinks and I did not want to risk putting pressure on him. For my part I needed to change too and try to behave less outrageously.
But over the last four or five years since then, gradually, he has indulged my exhibitionist streak and we have together progressed to some of these fantasies of mine. It has been a case of, 'if you can't beat them, join them!' We have now had some fun experiences together some of which I am going to tell you about. One of the more innocent places we started driving to during the summer was Studland Bay which is a beautiful sandy beach near to Poole in Dorset but which is not too far from Bristol for a day trip. There is a popular naturist beach there where you can legally sun bathe and swim naked and that kept me going for a while and gave me an outlet for being naked in public until I discovered even better places.
I obviously thought a lot about when I was had by those three guys on the beach on holiday in the Greek Islands it had a big effect on me. Don't get me wrong-I know full well that I deserved it, and attracted it so I do not blame the boys. When I think about it in perspective I had it coming. It was an accident waiting to happen. In fact it is a surprising it had not happened before.
I get a lot of messages from readers and have accumulated quite a following of people interested in me and my life. Many people admit to me that they too have similar exhibitionist desires but are afraid to act on them. People seem to envy the fact that I have actually had so much fun actually doing some of the antics I have told you about. But I don't think anyone should envy me being gang banged on that beach. I wish very much that I had not allowed that to happen and had perhaps called it a night at the point when I was being fondled under the blanket. It was not so much doing it that I regretted but doing it behind Andy's back. Some readers are extremely judgemental and cruel to me about my behaviour and I do wonder why they read such stories if they disapprove so much.
Anyway four or five years have now gone by and things have settled down again but with new rules in our marriage. Andy and me are still together and he has come more to terms with who I am and my needs. I have had many requests from readers to keep telling them about my experiences that I feel I cannot deny them and also as I have said before I do find it a turn on writing about them. I had not intended to reveal anymore about myself after that experience in Greece but I have been persuaded by the number of requests that I have received. Nothing has happened to me quite so extreme as being fucked by those three guys on the beach and I do not plan to do anything like that again; well certainly not without Andy anyway. So you may find that my more recent experiences a bit tame but this is not a story; this is real life and in real life there are limits and constraints. The big difference now is that I never do anything wild without Andy knowing about it first and usually being present and that is a cardinal rule for us.
My Encounter With One Of My Readers
I do enjoy chatting with readers on email and sometimes I have experimented with some fantasy stories with readers in which we imagine what we would do if we met up and how it would be and stuff like that. I encourage them to describe in detail what they would do to get me out of my clothes and what would follow and all I have to do is chip in from time to time with a bit of imaginary reciprocation and they love it. It is great fun actually on the lap top on a cold wet evening. However unfortunately for many guys this is never enough and I get many requests from guys in the UK who want photos and to meet up for real. Obviously I cannot do that not just from the safety point of view but also because I have vowed not to cheat on my husband and do anything that he does not know about. It has been difficult enough preserving my marriage after the Greece thing that I am not going to do anything that he does not condone even if he does not particularly like it. This is the difference between real life and fiction. I have a reputation and a husband to think about and I have children and I am not going to behave as an unfettered slut having sex with all and sundry.
Having said that I do not actually meet my readers I did make an exception in an alcoholic soaked moment and it is this event that I will tell you about next. It was actually a bit of a disaster and put me off doing it again. This was before I cut right down on drinking and was one of the reasons I did actually as it was obviously clouding my judgement. Bear in my I am an ordinary English middle aged woman going about her nine till five thirty work routine selling houses. This guy had originally contacted me as the result of one of my earlier stories I had posted about my exhibitionism.
You would be amazed how many blokes contact you on email. My revelations have always been popular and I have many fans, but the truth is when the majority of them show their hand they want to meet up, and get inside my knickers. I, on the other hand, only want to have some fun exchanging emails with people who want to play and fantasise. But that is not enough for many, and I cannot go further with casual readers-my life is complicated enough! I would be meeting new men every week!
With this particular guy we had emailed each other many times and become sort of friends. We played that game where we imagine what it would be like if we met up and what he would like to do to me. But in this case as he seemed so unsure of himself I told him he would have to sit on his sofa like a good boy and watch me strip very slowly and seductively for him. He was without doubt infatuated by me and it would not be an exaggeration to say that he worshipped me. He told me so many times how much he would love to see me naked. I was all his fantasies and wet dreams rolled into one! He was a lot younger than me-late twenties ,and single. I suspect he had not had many girlfriends and was very inexperienced as he was fond of telling me. It was almost like I was his mother or his agony aunt advising him about how to have more success with girls. I had always known that he happened to also live In Bristol.
