Rachel Reveals More

Preface

Hi, I'm Rachel and this is another installment in my story about my life and what it has been like being burdened with the urge of being an exhibitionist. It is intended to be an insight into the thoughts and actions of a real girl / woman who is a closet and sometimes not so closet exhibitionist. This I fear will be a fairly tame story for some readers as this is a about a real person and you need to get to know a bit about me and my feelings along the way in order to get the most out of it. If you like fast moving stories where the sexual gymnastics start in the first paragraph before you know anything about the characters then this story will not be for you and you should move on. My story is erotic but it is a slow burn and you need to get into the rhythm of it. What makes it erotic is that these are real events that have all happened to me. It is not an unbridled fantasy like most erotic fiction where anything and everything can happen but probably did not.

This is an unusual story in that it will give you a rare insight into the mind of a real live mature woman exhibitionist. No real woman will normally be available or willing to share these real life emotions, confessions and insights and I am only doing it because I enjoy it and it is a turn on to tell you exhibitionist and voyeur aficionados what it is really like being a lifelong exhibitionist. I have a husband, a reputation, and a career and I cannot just do the things that people make up in unbridled fiction but in this story, I will tell you what I have done in real life. No one in my family and very few of my friends know these things about me but such is the bizarre nature of the internet that you, whom I have never met, will.

If you do not like subtle stories about the urge to exhibit one's body and be naked in front of others, then please do not read it. Similarly, if stories about threesomes and having sex in public offend you then please do not read it. You have been warned. Finally, if you disapprove of me I appeal to you to keep it to yourself and not leave spiteful feedback criticising me as a person.

How can I be so candid and indiscreet about telling you about my life? Well obviously for one thing Rachel is not my real name and but apart from my husband's and my names everything else in this story is real. As I say, I feel driven to write about my experiences because I find it such a turn on.

I have been writing about my life on Literotica for quite a few years now and my revelations have always been popular. Readers often ask me for a new story but obviously I actually have to have some more experiences in order to have some more to write about! Well now a few years have gone by and I have! As I say I have written several short stories about my different experiences and in order to enjoy this latest one the most you would be better to read some of my earlier stories first. This latest story will then make more sense if you know more about me and what has gone before.

You can find my three previous installments under my name of Rachel6. They are best read in chronological order ie:

1. Rachel's life As An Exhibitionist

2. Rachel Is Shared

3. Rachel's Exhibitionism Nemesis

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There are a great many ordinary people out there living ordinary lives who harbour secret desires and fantasies. It gives such people an outlet and a release to have the chance to read about the actual experiences of a few who are prepared to actually share their experiences with others. For some it is enough just to read about others and live their lives vicariously through them. For others they go through their lives feeling unfulfilled and frustrated. Only you can judge who is right. Many readers email me to say they feel the same urges as I do but are frightened to act on them. They would love to have the courage to do some of the things I have done. All I can say is that with everything in life it is choices. What you gain on the swings you lose on the roundabouts. Everything has a cost. If it does not feel right to you to risk your marriage or relationship just to seek sexual thrills then don't. My personality is such that I do not seem to have any choice as I am so driven to do risqué things.

A little About Me

Let me tell you a little about myself. I'm now in my mid forties and have been married for twenty- odd years to my husband Andy. We have two now grown up children and we live in the south west of England. I have shoulder length hair, which is now in a sort of medium red- brown shade courtesy of regular trips to the hairdresser. However, over the years, I have had it various shades of blond, and auburn and even black for a while but that did not suit me and I hated it. If I had all the money that I have spent at the hairdressers, I would be a rich woman. I am pretty in a girl next-door sort of way. People say I have a nice smile and that my eyes and face light up when I laugh which is as often as possible.

I have always had to watch what I eat but have kept the weight off and remained slim and weigh about 135 lbs and am 5'5" tall. I have always liked to dress in such a way as to make the most of what I have and look as attractive and feminine as I can. I work full time in a high street office in a professional job (don't want to give too much away) and so get the chance to wear smart two-piece suits with above the knee skirts. When the sun comes out, I look nice in my short summer dresses and skirts. I love to look and feel sexy (which is most of the time) and have always enjoyed sex in all its forms but at the same time, I am quite a needy person who needs to be liked. That is why I really do care what readers think about me, and I love it when I get flattering and admiring email but equally hate it when I get critical and hurtful feedback. So if you do write to me please be nice! I am a sensitive soul.

I always wear nice lingerie and just the thought that it is there turns me on. Back when I was twenty I was very slim, probably too skinny really and my breasts were smaller too before I had had children. I am only about 34 inches now but back then I was sporting no more than 32 inches but they were very firm and pert. Rachel is not my real name of course although I do like it and it does suit me but I need to protect my anonymity if I am going to share all this intimate stuff about me.

I met my future husband Andy at the beginning of my second year at Bristol University. We were not on the same course and we just got talking at the bar in the students union. We clicked right from the word go and it was one of those situations where within half an hour you just knew that as a minimum we were going to be great friends and there was sexual chemistry between us from the outset. We became a couple pretty much immediately.

If I am honest, I have always been an exhibitionist-I was born like it although of course I did not recognise that about myself until I was grown up. What I do know now is that it is a very strong compulsion that is very hard to overcome. I have always had a thing about enjoying taking my clothes off. I adore swimming in the nude in the sea although the opportunities for this in the UK are obviously very rare. Increasingly I discovered that I found brazenly exhibiting my body thrilling and I wanted more and more of this thrill of teasing blokes and even girls to be honest. Anyone will do! I just love being naked in public although sadly due to all the obvious reasons I have not actually done it that many times. They say there is a stripper inside every woman-well there definitely is inside this one.

I have always loved the feel of being naked and always loved running my hands over the cheeks of my bum and over my thighs and breasts. From a young age I have loved squeezing my thighs together when I am naked and feeling the sensation that I get of squeezing my pussy between them. I love the feeling of cool air around my fanny when I take my knickers off and the greatest delight is jumping into a cold swimming pool or a warm Jacuzzi stark naked. I love the freedom of nakedness and the complete lack of restriction through not wearing clothes. At home I prefer to parade around naked or semi naked as often as possible although I do not do this when the kids are about.

I have always wanted to take my clothes off in front of people and find it a real turn on. I just do not understand why most people are so worried and embarrassed about even a glimpse of their bodies being seen. If I am in a changing room at the gym the other women usually go to such lengths to keep covered up and not be seen even by other women whereas I love the excuse to parade around naked legitimately and dry myself without any shyness at all-quite the opposite actually. I would actually prefer it if changing rooms were mixed but I suspect not many women would agree with that.

When you read my story some of you may be shocked or appalled at some of the things I have done but I want you to know that I do not consider myself to be promiscuous or loose; I have not had that many sexual partners compared to what you hear is the norm for young people today. I have stayed married to my husband and been married only once and not so many people can say that nowadays can they? My condition, if you want to call it that, is that I am a compulsive exhibitionist-not a slut.

I need to have feelings for a man I have sex with. I do not believe in pure physical animal sex and get no pleasure from it. Ok I have broken this rule on a couple of occasions through being drunk or exhausted and tired but these experiences have only affirmed my beliefs. I do not like to simply have sex. I need to 'make love' to a guy with all the kissing, foreplay, emotions, and cuddling that goes with it.

A Period Of Adjustment

My story picks up after my life changing experience on the beach in Greece when I submitted to the attentions of three guys I had met on holiday. You can read all about it in 'Rachel's Exhibitionism Nemesis'. It was about a week after we had got back to the UK that I sat Andy down, when the kids were out, burst into tears and told him what had happened. I was, of course very upset, and contrite and tried to get him to understand that I had done similar strip teases before and guys had not taken advantage of me. I had to try to excuse it that way; that I had been drunk, and had not expected this to happen or wanted it to happen. Andy loves me very much and was as understanding about it as any husband could possibly be expected to be. I was so full of regret and remorse at that time that we actually reached a point where we could actually laugh at my naivety that I had thought I could behave like that and not end up getting fucked. He even comforted me that it was extremely unlikely that I would have caught anything from them and not to worry about that.

When you really love someone it is my view that when they stray you do not just immediately chuck your relationship away. I often hear people say that if their partner was ever unfaithful then that would be it. But if you really love someone would you not try to work out why they strayed and what was missing in your relationship? If the roles had been reversed I would certainly have afforded Andy that leeway and thankfully he felt the same.

In the following weeks Andy had to work very hard to get over it, and I often felt ashamed about my behaviour that night in Greece. I did however feel a whole lot better about it after I had got it out into the open. At that time sometimes I felt full of regret and worried that things will never be the same again with Andy. But other times privately I was glad that it happened-and thought, 'You're only here once.' Before that night, I had only had full sex with two men, and in one night I had increased my tally to five and I felt some private satisfaction about that. My biggest regret is that I wished I had been fully conscious for the whole experience and not passed out. Although at the time, when I accused the boys of having me when I was asleep, they told me that I had been responding and enjoying it from start to finish but that is not my memory so I don't know. Often I felt concerned that that could be the only time I ever had sex with multiple partners and it might never happen again. I became increasingly obsessed with the notion that I had to change Andy and our relationship to give me more freedom to indulge my wild urges.

I had some very honest and candid discussions and arguments with Andy about how and what I am and my obsessions. He began to understand me a lot better and my need to do it. I did not want to have secrets from him anymore. He wanted me to himself but I knew that I was no longer able to promise that. I had to have the freedom to have sex with other guys now and again when my exhibitionist desires surfaced. He wishes I was not like this but he loves me and accepts it. I told him that he was also welcome to have sex with other women and once he got used to the idea he could see that could be fun for him. I said that life was too bloody short to only ever have sex with each other and that it was only sex for God's sake. The important thing was that we should not do anything behind each other's back or have secrets from each other.

He has obviously even accepted my exhibitionist desire to tell the world my intimate secrets about my exploits on erotic literature web sites and in forums and chat groups. I have to tell you that I get a lot of email and messages from guys who wish that their wives or girlfriends were more like me so maybe Andy should think he is lucky! I get messages all the time from guys who would like to see their partners have sex with other guys. Equally I get messages from females who have the same urges as me but wish they had the nerve to act on them.

To be honest I would have liked nothing more sometime than to have sex with Andy in front of others- even strangers if he preferred. He did fuck me once in front of his flatmate at university as you know. I also would have loved to watch him fuck another woman. At that time he was not up for such high jinks and I did not want to risk putting pressure on him. For my part I needed to change too and try to behave less outrageously.

But over the last four or five years since then, gradually, he has indulged my exhibitionist streak and we have together progressed to some of these fantasies of mine. It has been a case of, 'if you can't beat them, join them!' We have now had some fun experiences together some of which I am going to tell you about. One of the more innocent places we started driving to during the summer was Studland Bay which is a beautiful sandy beach near to Poole in Dorset but which is not too far from Bristol for a day trip. There is a popular naturist beach there where you can legally sun bathe and swim naked and that kept me going for a while and gave me an outlet for being naked in public until I discovered even better places.

I obviously thought a lot about when I was had by those three guys on the beach on holiday in the Greek Islands it had a big effect on me. Don't get me wrong-I know full well that I deserved it, and attracted it so I do not blame the boys. When I think about it in perspective I had it coming. It was an accident waiting to happen. In fact it is a surprising it had not happened before.

I get a lot of messages from readers and have accumulated quite a following of people interested in me and my life. Many people admit to me that they too have similar exhibitionist desires but are afraid to act on them. People seem to envy the fact that I have actually had so much fun actually doing some of the antics I have told you about. But I don't think anyone should envy me being gang banged on that beach. I wish very much that I had not allowed that to happen and had perhaps called it a night at the point when I was being fondled under the blanket. It was not so much doing it that I regretted but doing it behind Andy's back. Some readers are extremely judgemental and cruel to me about my behaviour and I do wonder why they read such stories if they disapprove so much.

Anyway four or five years have now gone by and things have settled down again but with new rules in our marriage. Andy and me are still together and he has come more to terms with who I am and my needs. I have had many requests from readers to keep telling them about my experiences that I feel I cannot deny them and also as I have said before I do find it a turn on writing about them. I had not intended to reveal anymore about myself after that experience in Greece but I have been persuaded by the number of requests that I have received. Nothing has happened to me quite so extreme as being fucked by those three guys on the beach and I do not plan to do anything like that again; well certainly not without Andy anyway. So you may find that my more recent experiences a bit tame but this is not a story; this is real life and in real life there are limits and constraints. The big difference now is that I never do anything wild without Andy knowing about it first and usually being present and that is a cardinal rule for us.

My Encounter With One Of My Readers

I do enjoy chatting with readers on email and sometimes I have experimented with some fantasy stories with readers in which we imagine what we would do if we met up and how it would be and stuff like that. I encourage them to describe in detail what they would do to get me out of my clothes and what would follow and all I have to do is chip in from time to time with a bit of imaginary reciprocation and they love it. It is great fun actually on the lap top on a cold wet evening. However unfortunately for many guys this is never enough and I get many requests from guys in the UK who want photos and to meet up for real. Obviously I cannot do that not just from the safety point of view but also because I have vowed not to cheat on my husband and do anything that he does not know about. It has been difficult enough preserving my marriage after the Greece thing that I am not going to do anything that he does not condone even if he does not particularly like it. This is the difference between real life and fiction. I have a reputation and a husband to think about and I have children and I am not going to behave as an unfettered slut having sex with all and sundry.

Having said that I do not actually meet my readers I did make an exception in an alcoholic soaked moment and it is this event that I will tell you about next. It was actually a bit of a disaster and put me off doing it again. This was before I cut right down on drinking and was one of the reasons I did actually as it was obviously clouding my judgement. Bear in my I am an ordinary English middle aged woman going about her nine till five thirty work routine selling houses. This guy had originally contacted me as the result of one of my earlier stories I had posted about my exhibitionism.

You would be amazed how many blokes contact you on email. My revelations have always been popular and I have many fans, but the truth is when the majority of them show their hand they want to meet up, and get inside my knickers. I, on the other hand, only want to have some fun exchanging emails with people who want to play and fantasise. But that is not enough for many, and I cannot go further with casual readers-my life is complicated enough! I would be meeting new men every week!

With this particular guy we had emailed each other many times and become sort of friends. We played that game where we imagine what it would be like if we met up and what he would like to do to me. But in this case as he seemed so unsure of himself I told him he would have to sit on his sofa like a good boy and watch me strip very slowly and seductively for him. He was without doubt infatuated by me and it would not be an exaggeration to say that he worshipped me. He told me so many times how much he would love to see me naked. I was all his fantasies and wet dreams rolled into one! He was a lot younger than me-late twenties ,and single. I suspect he had not had many girlfriends and was very inexperienced as he was fond of telling me. It was almost like I was his mother or his agony aunt advising him about how to have more success with girls. I had always known that he happened to also live In Bristol.