"Could you come here, Jason? I'd like to talk to you about something."
"Of course, Mrs. Higgins," I replied.
Mrs. Higgins was our next-door neighbour. She and her husband had moved about three months earlier into the bungalow next to that in which my parents were driving me nuts. As a healthy 18-year-old, I craved for nothing but sex. But my straight-laced parents, in their religious zeal, would consider my sex drive to be nothing short of devilish. How could I cope with my teenager's testosterone level in a home where the "Reverend" Robert Schuller was the hottest thing allowed on TV?
In the midst of this sexual confinement, Kathy Higgins had moved next door. A woman in her early 40s, she displayed enough youthful energy to arouse my passion while undoubtedly possessing the sexual experience and drive that makes all 18-year-old guys mad with desire.
It was this attractiveness that had made me take advantage of a most convenient feature of our home. The hedge. A magnificent row of bushes that Dad would constantly trim with great care. Bushes thick enough that one could hide in them — while still seeing the neighbourhood.
There was an upwards slope in our backyard: the edge of the yard was perhaps 3 metres higher than the rest of the parcel of land where my parents kept me prisoner. By going to the edge and sneaking into the hedge, I could get a decent view of the Higgins' bathroom. I had discovered that a lot earlier in my life. But since the house next door had been inhabited by a very elderly couple ever since I could remember, I had never interpreted this characteristic as an opportunity.
Until now.
Mrs. Higgins enjoyed showering. She enjoyed taking her time to pamper herself before and after showering. In the nude. I knew since, as a resourceful young lad, I had had the idea of trying to see if, finally, I could hit pay dirt from the vantage point in the yard.
I could. Big time. Since Mrs. Higgins was indeed a hedonist (I had learned the word only shortly before), she would spend long minutes applying moisturizer all over her body after her nightly shower. While I would stroke myself to heaven, applying my own testosterone-saturated moisturizer on the bush that was hiding me. I wonder if that tree benefited from this massive shot of protein.
"Could you come here, Jason?" Of course, I could. Standing in the back door of her house, she looked irresistible.
I followed her inside the house. Trying to suppress any fantasies that the situation could have prompted.
"I'd like to talk to you about something."
She'll ask me to mow their lawn. Or to take care of their stupid dog while they're away for an extended weekend. Or to help her move a piece of furniture.
"Of course, Mrs. Higgins. I'm listening." I tried to act cool. Maybe she could fall for me. I had seen The Graduate afew weeks earlier.
"I know that you've been peeping at me."
I felt the ground vanishing under my feet. "Deny!" said the voice inside me.
"What?" I said, not knowing whether I should sound upset by this unfounded accusation, amused by this foolish declaration or intrigued by such nonsense.
"Don't deny it, Jason. You like to wear white t-shirts. Under a full moon, you stand out like a sore thumb, despite the dense foliage of your father's very well tended bushes."