The story I'm about to tell you is quite true. It happened just a few months ago and even now, I'm not sure whether all that I'm about to tell you really did happen – or whether I've actually dreamt up some of it since! But anyway, let me begin:
To be quite honest, I thought that public toilets had all but died out long ago.
Public conveniences they were often called and I remember that, as a young kid, you could always find a public toilet close to a busy shopping area or in a railway station or in any one of a number of other well-frequented places.
But as time went by and our way of life has changed, so too I guess has our perception of the need for public toilets and I suppose what with so many of them being used for illegal and immoral purposes down the years, so they have become more and more rare. A bit like BT public telephone call boxes that actually work I suppose
Anyway, this particular day that I'm going to tell you about, I was driving home from a round of golf with a couple of my mates, when the urge to pee suddenly came upon me.
Now I know that to many people the mere thought of drinking and driving is abhorrent, but to me its always seemed quite acceptable to have a couple of beers and still drive. I mean, its not like a couple of pints of weak lager is going to turn anyone into a raving-nutter, is it?
It was a cold day – in fact we'd nearly called off our game that morning due to a light early morning frost – and although I was now comfy and warm in my all but new air-conditioned car, Meat Loaf playing on the CD player and the side bet winnings from my victory in our earlier game safely in my pocket, I guess that second ice-cold lager of the afternoon was at that moment getting its revenge on me on my friend's behalf and pretty soon my bladder was screaming for urgent release! Ever tried to stop on a busy dual carriageway and take a leak – not easy, is it?
It was starting to rain quite sharply and the hissing sound of the tyres on the wet road coupled to the 'slap, slap, slap' of the windscreen wiper blades as they cleared the running water off the windscreen did nothing at all to aid my discomfort at needing to take a leak – and to take it very soon!
Thankfully I was fast approaching a traffic island and, glancing at the road signs, I noticed that there was a turn off from the coming roundabout for a nearby village with a quaint name – which sadly escapes me at the moment – and I thought that at the very worst, I could pull up in some quiet side road and take a pee behind my car.
Leaving the busy trunk road behind, I set off along a narrower road towards the village and my urgency to pee was curtailed slightly by my need to concentrate on the unfamiliar road ahead, which made the feeling of an imminent bladder explosion subside a little.
All at once, I was entering the outskirts of a small country village and as it was now all but dark, the main street down which I was driving was lit by old-style street lamps, which gave off quite a weak light when compared to the high-powered lamps we're now so used to. But to be honest, I wasn't really bothered about the street furniture or its effectiveness. I needed a pee – and soon – as my need to 'go' had suddenly returned with a vengeance!
I was just about to pull up and risk offending the locals, when I noticed a small, squat brick-built building with old style lamps hanging over a sign that declared 'Public Convenience' and with doors at each end, on which were emblazoned the words 'Ladies' and 'Gents'. Never had I been so glad to read anything in my life!
Inside the 'gents' section of this most welcome saviour of public decency, I quickly headed for the large, long urinal that ran along the back wall and, with an urgency born of desperation, I smartly unzipped by flies and dragged out my half-hard cock. Its funny how the desire to pee can sometimes give you a semi-stiffy isn't it – maybe its all that squeezing and rubbing to try to stop yourself peeing in your pants, that does it!
Anyway, I pointed my dick gratefully at the old, cracked porcelain, pulled my foreskin back out of the way and let what seemed like gallons of hot urine spurt out onto the old china surface. It seemed like I was never going to stop, but eventually the flow began to ease and after a few more seconds I'd got to the 'shake off the drips' stage and was just about to put my cock away, when the sudden urge to masturbate came over me.
Now some of you may be thinking 'what a pervert, what a weirdo', but have you never felt the urge yourself to do something a little 'naughty' in a semi-public place? If you haven't, well – you should try it sometime.
Well, I'm not a 'kid' by any stretch of the imagination - being nearer to fifty than forty - but masturbation has always been a good friend to me in the past (when female company has been in short-supply) and, as I was standing there all alone at that very moment - with a rapidly hardening tool and no prospect of a shag when I got home as I am, at the moment between lovers - I decided to indulge myself for a few minutes.
I glanced around the inside of the room and apart from the urinal against which I had so recently found one form of relief, I now searched for somewhere suitable in which to gain another!
