Chapter One.
Sally was always the arty kid. She was never really into sports or group activities, not that she was a loner or anything like that. When she was being creative, though, she entered a kind of zen-like mindset and a peaceful state swept over her. I understood the feeling as it was how I was with music but for her, it was almost always something visual. She had tried many different media, drawing, charcoal, painting, sculptures even photography and video. It's like it's a part of her DNA, she has to be creating something to feel alive.
All through high school, she did alright academically, not top of the grade but certainly not at the bottom either, she never had any other goal in life other than to be doing something arts-oriented. When she finished high school it was straight on to uni where she found her "tribe". She went from being a part-time artist and a student to living life completely as an artist. It worried me as her mother to think that there probably wasn't much financial security for her future but any time I brought this up she told me that she would find a way. They say we all need to have faith and I guess Sally just had faith in her art. It wasn't easy to let go and let her work it out on her own but she was never unhappy with her choices and she always seemed to make ends meet.
Sally was always a precocious kid in the sense that she didn't seem to have the same social boundaries as her peers. If she wanted to know something or understand it better she would just ask. She never really cared that some subjects were considered taboo or that there was a time and place for certain conversations even. If she wanted to know something she just asked. If someone got offended or uncomfortable about it she considered that to be a problem with their thinking. It was refreshing in some ways but it could be embarrassing too.
When she was twelve years old we attended a wedding. We aren't a religious family at all so when we were invited to a friend's wedding at a catholic church Sally had a ton of questions. At first, it was all about the reasons for the use of the Latin language, then she had a lot of questions about the artistry of the church, especially the symbols and icons. Unfortunately, I didn't have all the answers and I could see her storing all the unanswered questions in her mind for whoever she decided would be more knowledgeable about the subject. Fortunately, this turned out to be my sister-in-law, who understood Sally very well and did her best to explain a lot of the church's history and background. She then went on to ask questions about the priest and his role. Again my Sister-in-law did her best to answer her questions. When she asked about the priest's wife she explained about the vow of celibacy. It was this that seemed to catch her attention more than anything else. She was fascinated but also flabbergasted by the idea of it. I could see she wasn't going to let it go so I tried to divert her attention and when that didn't work I tried to explain to her that it wasn't polite to discuss somebody's private and personal decisions in such a public place.
She thought about it for a while and I thought she had taken the hint and would ask no more questions. Oh, how wrong I was. The ceremony was over and people were standing around congratulating the new couple and just chit-chatting generally when I realised that Sally had disappeared. I looked around for her, wondering who she had decided to harass with a million questions now when I spotted the priest, sitting in a pew up the front of the church and talking animatedly with Sally. Oh no. This couldn't be good. I began walking towards them and I noticed he was pointing out different aspects of the building and some of the paintings, icons and imagery. I breathed a sigh of relief as I realised that she had gone to her favourite topic of art straight away and he seemed delighted to be telling her about them. I stepped forward and introduced myself.
"Hi, I'm Sue. Sally's mum."
"Oh hello, Sue. I'm Peter. Young Sally here couldn't contain her enthusiasm for the art in the church and I was just giving her some history of the art here. I have to say I'm stunned at her knowledge and understanding of it. You must be very proud."
He seemed to be genuinely delighted to have someone to talk to about it.
"I am, thank you, Father, I hope she hasn't had too many questions for you. She can be a bit full-on sometimes."
Sally looked at me as though I was being rude and it struck me as funny that she would find that rude.
"Please, just call me Peter. These ceremonies are formal enough without throwing titles around as well. I don't stand much on formality outside of them. As for questions, ask away Sally, People don't ask enough questions anymore in my opinion. A thirst for knowledge and understanding is something that should always be encouraged."
He turned to Sally with a look of expectation and I almost groaned out loud. I knew what was coming now that the green light had been given. She looked him dead in the eye without the slightest sign of embarrassment or shame then she asked what had been bothering her the most.
"My mum and my Aunt both said priests don't get married and aren't allowed to have sex, why not?"
I swear my face must have been glowing. I was so embarrassed.
"Sally! Didn't I tell you not to ask such personal questions?"
"Yes, but Peter said I should ask questions."
"I am so sorry, Peter."
To my surprise, he just laughed.
"That's quite alright. It is an unusual situation and it's perfectly normal to be curious about things like that. Well, Sally, part of becoming a priest is sacrifice. We decide as part of the process to dedicate ourselves to our parishioners and God. To show our faith and dedication we sacrifice the things that the majority of people search for in their life. It shows that we are prepared to live our life for God and others, not for ourselves."
Sally mulled this over for a while and I could see her struggling to understand it.
"Who tells you to do this?"
"Well, it is the tradition of the church or doctrine if you understand what that means. So, in some ways, it is the church itself that tells us this and in some ways, it is God telling us but I like to think of it as more of a personal choice and not so much that I am being told to do it."
"But isn't it nice, well, you know, to have sex? I mean mum said that's a big part of why people do it. Wouldn't god want you to have pleasure too?"
Okay, so if you are there God, if you do exist, now would be a great time to produce a small earthquake and just swallow me up, please.
I was mortified to the point where I couldn't say anything. Peter, though, just took it all in his stride as though she was asking for his opinion on the weather.
"In the church, we have an opinion that people should wait for marriage before engaging in that. But that doesn't mean we aren't aware of other opinions and ideas. I am sure it probably is fun, but I am equally sure that it shouldn't be taken too lightly either. Having said that, it's probably not the most important thing in life either and as much as it can be difficult to reject your basic desires it can be quite rewarding too."
