Brendan and I practiced. Really practiced. Joyfully. Ethereal, at times. I've never felt so fulfilled, so freed from gravity, so happy.
For the first time, I felt the joy of our partnership and got the sense that our dance potential had no limits. But, while Ashley would be glad we'd finally come together, she'd be acutely aware that she had no hope of experiencing this for herself.
She'd been a gifted dancer. But an accident, a fall resulting in broken ribs, had forced her withdrawal just before the national championships three years ago. Her partner, desperate to continue dancing no matter what, quickly found another girl. Poor Ashley. She slowly withdrew from the dance scene, heartbroken, disappointed and without hope.
I'd spent many nights consoling her, telling her that it wasn't the end of the world, finally convincing her to teaching dance with me as her first student. At first, she resisted, but when cute new partner-material—Brendan—showed up, she pulled herself together. Now, with Brendan and me fully committed, conflicting emotions were bound to surface. I invited her, and Brendan, to my apartment for dinner in hopes of assuaging any resentment she might have. I wanted her as an integral part of a team, our team, so we would dance together, the three of us as one.
I ordered out. Chinese. The food would arrive within thirty minutes. I poured Brendan a glass of wine and one for me. Ashley stopped at the post office on the way and would be a few minutes.
I stared at this new man who happened to be my dance partner. It was a bit awkward. A lot had happened in a few hours. I didn't quite know how to proceed. It had been a while since I'd been in a relationship. This one seemed to begin so differently, yet magically. I remember thinking, near the point of orgasm, that for the first time the cosmos had aligned for me, and us. That surge of energy had pushed me up so fast my head spun. Yet, orgasm didn't come. It just hovered there, a second away, tearing my body apart. Heaven and hell. When it did come, it erupted so freely, so completely, the effects, the ache, still lingered.
"Earlier," I said, "you mentioned you liked showing me off. What did you mean by that?"
He drank, then said, "I'm the lead dancer. It's my job."
"But we weren't dancing."
"Weren't we?"
"And when I asked you to go faster you said—"
"That I like seeing you like this." He smiled. "Actually, I loved it."
"Explain."
He shrugged. "Why rush?"
But that's all I wanted to do. "Why wait?"
He closed in, his glass nearly touching mine, eyes definitely touching mine. "You were beautiful then—not that you aren't always. But at that moment, I wanted to—"
"See me go to pieces?"
He shook his head. "You seemed to enjoy that particular moment. No cares, right? Just you and my fingers. I didn't think you'd mind a few more minutes. You might even be moved to beg."
"Did my predicament make you hard?"
"I was already hard."
"Harder?"
He smiled. "Maybe."
"What if I had begged?" What if I begged him to touch me now? I was contemplating just that.
He leaned in and kissed me, then pulled away just a bit. "I don't know. It depended on how it affected me."
Certainly, it affected me. "Is talking about it turning you on?" I said.
"Yes."
The buzzer rang. I ran to it, pushed the intercom button. "Yes?"
"It's Ashley," she said from the lobby.
I pushed the unlock button. "It's open."
I turned to Brendan. "Would you come for me before you go? You owe me that." As if any man would refuse an orgasm.
"With pleasure."
"With Ashley here?"
Ashley knocked and I let her in. And the buzzer went again. Our food had arrived. I send Brendan down for it, slipping some bills into his hand. "Think about it," I whispered.
"Wine?" I said to Ashley, after Brendan had gone.
She laughed. "I'm not sure I need anything after this afternoon. I mean..." She looked away.
I poured her a glass. "Tell me."
"You know what I saw."
I wonder what I would have done in her place. Silly, I do know. I would have snuck back to watch. "He did a good job with me."
"So it didn't bother you?" she said.
"Bother, no."
"Affect?"
I shrugged. "Yes. You?"
No answer.
"I see," I said.
"I think you see some of it. But not all."
"Oh?"
"It's hard to explain," she said.
"Would it help if you repeated the performance."
She looked puzzled. "I wasn't the one performing," she said.
"I know, I was. But Brendan missed out. And a man needs his."
She looked away, drank, looked me straight in the eye. "I'm not sure... I'm not sure what I want. What would he think?"
So she's considering it. "Tell you what, all you have to do is sit there."
She just stared at me.
"Come on, you can't tell me you don't want to see him come? I know I do." She stayed silent. But I could see the wheels turning. "I promised him."